All in a Day's Insanity
by A Concerned Individual
Summary: An insane fic focusing on the lives of the Elite Four, and how they have to deal with derranged authors, annoying fairy girls, and nonsensical plot twists...
1. Character Bios

A/N: First of all, I'd like to thank everyone out there who reviewed this. AIADI just wouldn't be itself without all of you. In fact, I believe the worst review I've received to-date is "it was okay" and hey, that was on the first (and very cruddy) chapter! YAY!

Before we go, I'd like to provide short and to-the-point character bios. So you don't get too confused, you know?

I actually wrote this little note after I finished the very last chapter. This is for anyone who still reads the fic.

BRIEF PROFILES OF THE AUTHORS AND THE 'LITES (and Lance)

**S-ILAK/SHADOW**: [Tsunami Shadow] I know it's confusing. Shadow changes her name several times throughout the fic. Don't get confuzzled! Currently she's Tsunami Shadow. Look her up if you will! We've done a joint fic together! (Evil and Nonsensical Insanity) Like me, she's a hopelessly insane Brock and Tracey hater. Oh yeah, and she… REALLY… likes root beer.

**TCL**: [The Crimson Lugia] (it's ME!) TCL is the stupid, cookie-loving maniac. Everyone loves TCL… at least that's what she thinks. (but they should probably lock her up anyway, just to be safe)

**Lccorp2**: [Lccorp2 the Were-Umbreon] Lc hates Ash's guts. He's also the twisted mind behind Eskimo Jolteon. A sadistic, Eevee-lution-writing guy… who I suspect has something going with Dawn the Espeon. 

**PV**: [PyroVulpix] Pyro's the lazy, cheese-nip loving Vulpix who's easily ignored. Unfortunately (for him), he's usually the victim of TCL's somewhat-gratuitous rants. A somewhat-regular character who's just waking up most of the time.

**C9Y/YUI**: [Corrector9Yui] Morty's her beau. The two are inseparable throughout most chapters. Has something against Koga and Bruno, but to Lance, she's his last hint of sanity in his poor, messed-up world. 

**FP/FLOWER**: [Flower Powerer] Flower doesn't appear often, and when she does, it's not very long. Her Typhlosion, Ty, is a real… well, uh_… pain_ sometimes. Flower was also the (before it was removed from the site) author of the Interactive Pokemon Game Show, a spoof of which is made in chapter 34.

**Dawn**: [Dawn the Espeon] Dawn is the rudely-introduced Disclaimer guest in pretty much every single one of Eskimo Jolteon's disclaimers. For AIADI, Dawn is only used once- and it's involuntarily. As usual.

**Esther**: [Princess Esther of Hyrule] She and Giovanni? Hookin' it up! YAY! I guess. I never really liked 'Vanni, but for her sake (and my physical health…) I'll do my best not to insult him. 

**Dclick**: [Dclick] Yes, I know the first "C" is capatilized. What do you know, my stupid computer won't let me do it. Anyway, Dclick is one of my partner-in-Creatures! Yep! We go WAY back… to the good ol' days. Anyway, DC is a typical Ash fan with her character Haze… And… geez, that description really needed some more thought. 

**Sonicrazy**: [Sonicrazy91] Sonicrazy is a blue Celebi who hardly ever gets any lines. TCL likes bossing him around. He gets hyper at brief intervals throughout the fic.

**Mewchu11**: [Mewchu11] Ee! I'm so sorry for not including you more! Anyway, Mewchu11, from what I understand, has 10 previous… clone self… thingies… Mewchus 1-10. Look at Chapter 41 for an example on how they talk…

**WILL**: The smart one. Next to Karen, of course. Not all of Will's ideas are all that bright. He's kind of cowardly at times, fleeing from imminent danger (by teleporting off to another land for his own enjoyment). He takes advantage of being TCL's favorite, although he isn't really NICE sometimes.

**KOGA**: Koga's in-between. Mostly, he's just in there to "fill in the gaps". Plus, whatever would the elite do without his constant squeaking? As good as poor Koga's intentions are, he often ends up annoying people.

**BRUNO**: Bruno's IQ drops with the chapter, as one of my reviewers pointed out. He's tough, but he's also whimpy. He's sane, but he's also CRAZY. He's smelly, but he's also… smelly. 

**KAREN**: Like Will, Karen takes advantage of TCL's favoritism… She can be nice, but normally, everyone else annoys her too much. She's kind of EVIL. It's not her fault. She lives a crazy life.

**LANCE**: Poor Lance is often picked on by the author, although the author herself doesn't dislike him at all. Besides Koga and Bruno, Lance is usually the misfortunate victim.

Guest appearances are also made by various characters, such as the Digi-destined, chars from Jimmy Neutron, Rocket Power, Hey Arnold, etc. Even Gilligan's Island! WTH?!?! But whatever happens, the world of Pokemon is always ALIVE and KICKIN', as well as very, very INSANE. Spontaneity is food for the soul… Or something like that.

Oh yeah- and when I make references to past chapters, it refers to the chapter directly after it, since this is now counted as the "first chapter".  


	2. It's Valentines Day

The newest fic from The Crimson Lugia's Crazy Insane Fic Collection:

~All in a Day's Insanity~

First off: **This is NOT connected with my series of Random Insanity fics.**

Oh yeah. Here are the rules:

Keep your arms and legs inside the fic at ALL times. Doing so may result in serious injury to your mental sanity. If you have any sanity, that is. If you don't, then I guess you're safe. I try to keep it serious, but slightly nonsensical at the same time. I'll develop the story more later on….

I plan to update this every day. If I do not, then it's probably because my deranged mind has

A: Gotten bored.

B: Exploded.

C: Is too insane to write anything.

Okey-dokey. On with it!

Chapter 1

Valentine's Day At the Indigo Plateau

(the first scene is in a relatively noisy room, where a certain Pokemon League Champion is snoring loudly. He hardly ever sleeps in, because usually the Elite Four talk so loud they wake him up dreadfully early anyway…)

Lance: Ugh. (wakes up) Where is everyone? 

(Lance gets up from his bed and sees a note on his door. It was in Koga's handwriting, it seemed.)

__

Lance, 

It's Valentine's Day, so we all went out to eat breakfast.

I thought you might want to sleep in. 

We're going to Pokemon Masters Wo-Buffet (A/N: Wo-buffet! Get it? …Okay, never mind_) if you want to reach us. Come over as soon as you read this ^_^_

-Koga

(Lance sighs)

Lance: How come they didn't tell me? I usually wake up pretty darn early anyway. 

(scene changes. We see the Elite Four, the Gym Leaders, and a few random Authors scattered all over a new place called Pokemon Masters Wo-buffet. The camera zooms in on the first table)

The Crimson Lugia: Heck, what do they serve here that's appetizing, anyway? I can't seem to find anything recognizable on this menu.

Corrector9Yui: What do you mean? *I* think it looks delicious.

TCL: What looks delicious?

C9Y: (looks at TCL's menu) Um, Crimson… I think you've got the menu upside-down.

TCL: Ummm…. I knew that.

C9Y: Suuuuuuure.

Lccorp2: When are those waiters coming? We've been here for hours.

(Sandact6 walks in. Lccorp2 gets up and worships him.)

Sandact6: ????

LC2: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE continue were-pokeism!

(Meanwhile, at the next table…)

Falkner: I don't believe it. Look at all the chicken on this menu. No respect for birds nowadays.

Whitney: (is sitting at one end of the table by herself) …And beef too! Think about all those Miltank…

Morty: You guys are being overemotional. Whitney, I'm pretty sure they make beef from cows. They don't hurt actual Miltanks. 

Whitney: Well it's cannibalism and I'm against it!

(everyone ignores Whitney)

Whitney: Whaaaat?

(at the third table)

Karen: This sure is fun. We're being treated like celebrities.

Koga: And TCL's not making us go on Game shows!

Will: Or play nintendo games!

Bruno: or sticking us in twisted romance fics!

(all four sigh in happiness… but they acted too soon)

Lance: (barges in) No one cared to tell me you all were going out to eat for Valentines Day! Where do I sit???

Koga: here Lance, you can sit right here by Bruno and me.

Lance: (mutters) 

(silence)

Koga: Soooooooo… Does anyone have anything interesting to say? 

(everyone shakes their head no)

(back to the second table)

Clair: Morty, pass the bread.

Morty: I don't have any lead.

Clair: No! Morty, pass the BREAD.

Morty: I'm not giving you my head!

Clair: ARRGH!! THE BREAD, MORTY!!!

Morty: Why would *I* have a shed?

Clair: BREAD!!! 

Morty: (confused) You want something red? Well… okay. (hands Clair a red piece of paper)

Clair: ARRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! Jasmine, please pass me the bread.

(Jasmine passes Clair the bread)

(Clair glares at Morty, who shrugs)

(back at first table)

C9Y: Clair! Stop being so rough on Morty! 

Clair: It's not my fault!

TCL: Please. Both of you sit down before someone gets hurt.

C9Y/Clair: No!

TCL: (towering over C9Y and Clair) I SAID SIT DOWN!!!

(Corrector9Yui and Clair sit down obediently)

************

(back at the plateau, the elite four/Lance are appalled to see their mailboxes flooded with stuff. All five shrug, and begin to sort through the mail. We zoom in to Lance)

Lance: Junk… Valentine… More junk… More valentines… (sighs) 

(suddenly Lance finds an very large, mushy card in his pile)

Lance: O_O Okay, who wrote this?

(Lance finds a very disturbing love junk written on this large, expensive looking pink card… Which happens to be signed "Your Secret Admirer")

(Lance screams, then faints)

(camera zooms to Karen's gym)

Karen: What on Earth is that maniac Lance screaming about? He scared me half to death. (she is sorting through her own pile, but finds nothing of interest.)

Karen: oh, I found plenty of things of interest… But TCL would rather not write about them…

(Riiight. Anyway, to save some space/time, Will, Koga, and Bruno are wondering the same thing. About Lance screaming and all)

Will: What's up with him? Oh well, never thought he was totally sane (continues reading through his little pile)

(scene changes. We see Morty's eyes widening at the sheer quantity of mail he has) 

Morty: Aaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!

TCL: That's the disadvantage of being Yui's favorite! ^_^ Now…

(scene changes yet again. Lance is still sprawled out on the floor of his gym, and he has "X" eyes)

Lance: X_X

(Koga walks in) 

Koga: Oh my. I know this is none of my business, but… (he peeks at the paper Lance has in his hand, and runs out screaming)

(We see Karen looking satisfied, having just finished organizing all of her mail) 

Koga: (runs in and scatters the mail in all directions)

Karen: KOGA!!!!! Great! Now I have to organize them again! -_-

Koga: But, but I just saw something disturbing!

Karen: What???

Koga: LANCE HAS A SECRET ADMIRER!!!!

Karen: O_O Wow. That's hard to believe.

Koga: Aiyeeeeee!!! It's the end of the world!

(he runs out, screaming, leaving a very confused-looking Karen standing surrounded by mail in her gym)

Karen: (at the sky) AM I THE ONLY SANE PERSON HERE!!! (she screams and faints)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

That was weird… That is all I have to say… Besides Review… And tell me I'm insane just so it can be confirmed…


	3. Lance's Secret Admirer

Chapter 2

Lance's Secret Admirer

(Lance awakens. It is only about half an hour since he blacked out, and re realized he was still clutching that stupid card…)

Lance: AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! (he drops it, and looks at it like it might be poisonous)

(Next, we go to Bruno's gym)

Bruno: Koga, I'm scared.

Koga: Me too.

Will: Um, why isn't Karen here?

Koga: She fainted. Not sure why.

Will: O_O

Bruno: She went temporarily mad. I think. 

Koga: yeah. Anyway, that's not the point! 

(Sabrina teleports in)

Sabrina: I have telepathically heard your cries of stress. What is the meaning of this?

Koga: Lance has a secret admirer, and since none of us thought that was possible, we're all really scared.

Will: (To Sabrina) What makes you think you're a better psychic than me???

Sabrina: Because at least I look halfway decent.

Will: (pouts)

Sabrina: Anyway. I don't think that is a huge problem. (she disappears)

(silence)

Koga and Bruno: We're all gonna die!!!!!!!!

Will: -_- Would you both shut up? You're giving me a headache.

**********

(Lance knows he has to find out who his secret admirer is. He writes down all the female Gym Leaders and all that, and sets off. His first stop is Karen's gym. Duh, Karen was still fainted.)

Lance: Karen?

(no answer.)

Lance: (annoyed) Karen?

(no answer)

Lance: KAREN!!!!

(still no answer) 

Lance: ARGGHH!!! (he runs out of the room, grabs some water, and flings it on Karen, who screams)

Karen: WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR????? THANKS A LOT!!!

Lance: Karen…

Karen: WHAT???? 

Lance: Do you like me?

Karen: O_O HELL NO!!! NOW GET OUT OF MY GYM!!!!

Lance: Do you know who wrote this? (shows Karen the valentine)

Karen: No!

Lance: sure?

Karen: YES!

Lance: really, did you write it?

Karen: WILL!!!!!!!!!

(Will teleports in)

Will: What?

Karen: GET LANCE OUT OF MY GYM!!!!

Will: (snaps his fingers. Lance disappears)

(Karen goes off to change her sopping-wet clothes. Will goes somewhere else, muttering)

Lance: Sheesh. Guess it wasn't her. -_-(he crosses out Karen's name on the list) Who's next? 

(next we see Lance standing outside Clair's gym)

Clair: Who is it?

Lance: It's me.

Clair: Who?

Lance: LANCE!

Clair: Oh. What do you want?

Lance: Do you know who wrote this? (shows Clair the mushy thing)

Clair: No clue. Now go away.

(Lance walks off, muttering. This scene repeats several times with different girls, and Lance finds out he has crossed off every name on the list and he still hasn't gotten an answer)

Lance: Either someone's lying, or this was a joke. Or maybe… It's someone else…

(Lance realizes he forgot one person. And that one dreaded person was… (horror movie scream) WHITNEY!!!

Lance: Oh god… (he walks off to Whitney's gym.)

Whitney: Who is it?

Lance: It's Lan-

(Whitney bursts open the door, and races out, hugging him)

Whitney: HIYA LANCEY!!! 

Lance: (squeaky voice) You're…suffocating…me!

Whitney: Oh? I'm so sorry! You're not hurt, are you? (she drags Lance in her gym, and there are screams from inside it. Heh. Back to the E4)

(Lance's screams are so loud that the people at Indigo Plateau can hear it)

Will: What's that noise?

Karen: Sounds like someone screaming. 

Koga: Sounds like Lance, kind of…

(everyone prays for Lance, shortly, knowing subconsciously what his horrible fate may be, and then pause and resume their work like nothing ever happened)

Lance: LEMME OUT!!! (he runs out of Whitney's gym, screaming like a lunatic)

Whitney: Where are you going, Lancey? Can I come too?

Lance: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Wow, that was short. Yes, I made this chapter purely to torture Lance. ^_^ I don't like Lance all that much. This chapter= stupid title, stupid plot, stupid everything! Although I think giving Lance to Whitney was a little too harsh… As you can tell I don't like Whitney all that much either. ^_^


	4. Water Ride of Evil

Chapter 3

Trapped on an Evil Mutant Water Ride!

(The elite four are minding their own business when Lance runs in)

Lance: (panting) HELP ME!!!!

Will, Koga, and Bruno: HOW????

Lance: Whitney's after me!!!

Koga: Oh. That's bad.

Lance: Lock the door! Lock the door! Aaaaaaaaaahhhhh! (he runs to his gym)

Bruno: Oookay. Apparently Lance doesn't like Valentine's Day all that much.

(Next scene. The E4 and the Champion are at some little happy festival thing. It's at a very famous theme park. They're hoping people won't recognize them, but they do)

Lance: I hate it when everyone's staring at us.

Will: (To Lance) We ARE wearing the same thing we always do…

Karen: Not me! I had to change since, ahem, LANCE, poured water all over me…

Will: But you're wearing the same type of clothes… -_-

Karen: So?

(Everyone but Karen sighs)

Lance: Oooh! Ooh! Look over there! I wanna go over there!

Bruno: Well I wanna go over there!

Koga: There! There!

Will: Heh. I guess this means we're either going to split up or take turns.

Lance: OKAY! Since everyone wants to do something different, we're going to go in partners. That's equal.

Will: Um, Lance? There are 5 of us.

Lance: I know!

Will: 2 does not go into 5 evenly.

Lance: …I knew that. Okay fine. 2 partners and one person by themselves.

Koga: I'm going with Bruno!

Bruno: Ditto.

Karen: I am NOT being with Lance. Knowing him he'd try sticking me on a water ride. _

Lance: (thinking) How'd she know?

Will: Who cares? Someone… Erg! We'll figure this out! Who DOESN'T want a partner?

(crickets chirp in the background)

Will: Where'd Lance go?

Karen: He's halfway across the park by now. He took off a few seconds ago.

Will: Then… UGH! 

(Karen rolls her eyes)

Will: I guess you're with me. I could've guessed. -_-

Karen: O_O Look over there! 

Will: What?

(Will turns around to see a very, very, very, very tall building)

Will: Wooooahhh…

(suddenly Suicune, Raikou, and Entei walk out)

Suicune: How did you guys get here?

Entei: You're filming Legendary Doggone it, right?

Will: …No.

Raikou: (to Entei and Suicune) See! I told you two that we were supposed to continue later! 

Karen: Why don't you step back into that building, and pretend it never happened?

Dogs: O.K. (They go back inside)

(silence)

Will: What are we supposed to do again?

Karen: I believe the scene is supposed to change.

(Right. Anyway, this time the scene changes to… Hey Karen, can I see the script for a sec?)

Karen: Sure. 

(Mmhmmm… Okay. The scene changes to Koga and Bruno.)

(We see Koga and Bruno… at… umm… the arcade.)

Koga: Why?

(Because I said so.)

Koga: OK.

Bruno: Koga, who are you conversing with?

Koga: The author. 

Bruno: Oh, okay. 

Koga: I'm bored. Let's go find Lance, since he has a map, and then we can go on those really tall water rides. 

Bruno: Don't worry, I have a map.

Koga: Good. 

Bruno: It'll only take us a few minutes to get there if we hurry!

(They rush out of the arcade before the line can get any longer. They eventually make it to the line for the water ride)

Koga: (reads sign) Bruno, look at this.

Bruno: What? (looks at sign)

WELCOME TO

REVENGE OF THE WHIRLPOOL GYARADOS

****

Remember, you must be at least 5"00 tall to enjoy this ride.

Things do pop out at you, and we here at Pokemon Amusement: Rides for the whole family® take no responsibility for children who should not have gone on this ride.

Koga: Umm… Maybe we should skip this ride…

Bruno: Nah, we're already here.

Koga: Yeah, I guess.

(they walk through the line, which is very very short due to the intensity of the attraction, and are seated in one of the log boats almost instantly)

Automatic voice: **Please remain seated. Keep your arms, legs, head, and other body parts inside the boat at all times. Remember, children under the age of 13 are not allowed on this ride. Please dispose of all food or drinks before entering the ride, as the Gyarados used here are hungry and sometimes like to devour our guests. Since there is no guarantee you are coming out alive, we here take no responsibility for missing tourists. Please enjoy the ride.**

(Koga and Bruno shiver)

Bruno: STOP THE RIDE!!! STOP THE RIDE!!! I WANNA GET OFF!!!

Koga: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

(the ride goes smoothly for a few minutes, before taking a plunge-drop in pitch-blackness)

Gyarados: GYAAAAAAAAARRRR!!! (chomp chomp)

Bruno and Koga: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

(meanwhile)

Will: I sense something bad.

Karen: What is it? We're almost next in line!

Will: I know, but… 

Voice in distance: GYAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!!!

More voices: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Karen and Will: ……

Will: Probably the haunted house. (they ignore the screams)

(meanwhile)

Lance: Oh woe is me. Whitney is after me, I don't have anyone to go on the rides with, and-

Voice: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Lance: What. Was. That? Oh well. 

Voice: HEEEEEEELLLLLLPPPPP!!!!

Lance: God that's annoying. They must have some really good horror rides.

Narrator voice: Oh no! It looks like Koga and Bruno are trapped on an evil mutant water ride from hell, and there is no one who wants to save them!

Will: They are?

Narrator: Quiet. You're ruining the suspense.

Will: oh. Sorry. 

Narrator: Will they escape the ride in time? Find out on the next…

Koga: HELLLLPP USSSSSSS!!!!

Narrator: Ugh! They don't pay me enough for this job! STOP INTERRUPTING!!!

Bruno: BUT THE GYARADOS ARE ATTACKING!!!!!

Narrator: Oh whatever! Just review! (glares)


	5. We were Abducted

Chapter 4

We Were Abducted By Aliens!

Narrator: Have Koga and Bruno met their ends???

Bruno: NOOOOOOO! PLEASE NO!

Koga: Anything but the Gyarados!

(Anything?)

Koga: Yes! No, wait, I take it back…

(so, anyway, the log exits the black part of the ride. Koga looks okay, just very shaken-up, but Bruno…)

Koga: Oh my gosh! (he turns around) Where'd Bruno go???

(Let's not go into depths about it, but let's just say the Gyarados considered Bruno very tasty)

Koga: EYAAAAAAH!!!! I've gotta tell the others! (he sprints off the ride, nearly setting a new record in speed)

*~*~*~MEANWHILE~*~*~*

Lance: FOR THE LAST TIME, I AM **NOT** GIVING OUT AUTOGRAPHS!!!!

Mob: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE…

Lance: No!

Mob: Drat. (they all leave)

Lance: Well that was uncalled for… This is getting boring. I'm going to go find the others, and then maybe we can eat. (he sets off to find his four companions… whoops… did I say four? I meant formerly four… He now has three…)

(Koga rushes up to Lance and acts like Scooby Doo, you know, the whole catching thing with Shaggy)

Lance: W-w-what???

Koga: BRUNO WAS EATEN BY A GYARADOS!!! (he screams like a lunatic)

Lance: o_0 

Koga: It's true! We were on some outrageously dangerous ride, and then-

Lance: Then WHY DID YOU GO ON IT?

(silence)

Koga: I didn't know it would be THAT intense! I know it looked creepy, but…

(pause)

Lance: TCL sure likes killing off Bruno in all of her fics…

(Yes. I do.)

Lance: (shrugs) Whatever.

(Suddenly they hear two very familiar screams in the background. Guess)

Lance: Oh dear. I hope Will and Karen didn't decide to go on that scary Gyarados one you were talking about…

Koga: But I thought Karen didn't like water rides!

(silence)

Lance: Yeah, you're right. Let's go find them.

Narrator: To make a long story short, they searched for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and-

Lance: Get to the point already!

Narrator: Well, okay, they searched for a while, but found nothing.

Lance: Yeesh. Wonder what happened to them.

Koga: Maybe they were abducted by aliens!

Lance: (snort) Yeah, right.

(Next scene takes us to a large, sophisticated ship floating hundreds of feet above the Earth. We see Karen tied up to a stretcher-like thing, and some alien poking her with a stick)

Karen: Cut that out, will ya?

Alien: We are the Galamon species of the Northern hemisphere of Europa. We wish to study your species. We also wish to blow you all up when we are done. We hope you do not mind.

Karen: Oh, not at all. Just destroy our entire planet. We don't mind.

Alien: Your intelligence proves to be quite small to make such a statement.

Karen: It's not as bad as your understanding of sarcasm. (rolls eyes)

(suddenly some alien with Will walks in)

Alien 2: We have studied this strange specimen. They appear to have no natural weapons.

Alien 1: That is good. In that case, bring in a few more.

(the ship lowers down to Earth again- it happens to have an invisibility cloaking device- and picks up two random humans. By complete chance, they are Lance and Koga.)

Lance: How coincidental can you get?

(Shut up.)

Will: Lance? Koga? …Where's Bruno?

Koga: He was eaten by a Gyarados!

(suddenly the alien spaceship accidentally blows off course and smashes into the sun. The aliens and the ship all burn up. Karen, Will, Lance, and Koga fall all the way back to Earth, except they're okay.)

Will: Someone explain to me why we're still alive.

Karen: (nudge nudge) I think it's a fic…

Will: …….Oh.

(Heh. Okay.)

(A Gyarados comes along, with a look of pure disgust. He spits out something that looks vaguely like Bruno, and then slithers away)

Bruno: Ughhh… What happened?

Everyone but Bruno: YOU'RE NOT DEAD???

Bruno: Equally surprised here. (faints)

Karen: …

Will:…

Lance:…

Koga:…Well… he did get beat up pretty bad…

(Please realize I hold nothing against you, Koga, except for being weird. But one of my friends does… ^_^)

Koga: ???

(a freight train comes from the sky out of nowhere. It's being steered by Corrector9Yui, who is screaming-)

Correcotr9Yui: EVERYONE GET OUT OF THE WAY EXCEPT FOR KOGA AND BRUNO!!!!

Koga and Bruno: (whimpers)

(the train runs over them. To keep the rating as it is, I will not go into details… Eh-heh…But you've probably already got a convincing mental picture as it goes) 

C9Y: OH YEAH, that was fun!

(You've had your fun.)

C9Y: Aw..

(You'll be in it later…)

C9Y: Rats. (she disappears)

(Now where were we… Hey, why am I talking in (these)? Don't I deserve some normal stuff?)

Narrator: Well… It just kinds of ruins it, because your REAL character is in the story too.

(Yeah, you're right, never mind)

(Koga and Bruno are miraculously still alive, but barely)

(A nearby civilian dials 9-11)


	6. Tracey is Slayed

Chapter 5

Tracey Dies At McDonalds!

(Yay!)

A/N: DClick, there is no such thing as reviewing too often. ^_^ And thanks for reviewing mai fics… You can have a guest role now! 

Koga: (wakes up) Where am I?

(the room is pitch-black except for occasional chirping noises from the roof)

Koga: Huh?

Hospital person: GET BACK DOWN!!!

Koga: …Ok…

(Boring.)

~*~*~MEANWHILE~*~*~

The Crimson Lugia: This is so fun. I love having an author's lounge.

Corrector9Yui: (opening fridge) This is the author's lounge, and there isn't even any food!

Lccorp2: Heh… (C9Y and TCL glare at him) I didn't eat ALL of it…

TCL: Then who did?

(PyroVulpix walks in)

TCL: PYRO!!! You'd better be able to explain the empty fridge!

PyroVulpix: Umm… hey! Look over there!

TCL/C9Y: What? (they turn around)

PV: (runs away)

TCL: HEY! COME BACK HERE, WHY YOU LITTLE-

(DClick walks in the room)

DClick: Hi. I'm in the right place, right?

TCL: Two "rights" in one sentence?

C9Y: D'ja bring any food, DC? I'm starving!

DC: Nope. (she sits at the computer and starts playing something)

TCL: What's that?

DC: Creatures. (A/N: Not really sure what it is, but DC plays it so it must be cool)

TCL/C9Y: Ooooooohhh… o_0 (they stare at it, transfixed) 

(PyroVulpix speeds away, worships DClick, and then continues running)

~*~*~MEANWHILE~*~*~

(We see Will, Karen, Lance, and Clair playing Cheat! If you don't know what Cheat is, go to neopets.com and you'll see. It's basically where you cheat)

Lance: 3 fives.

Clair and Will: CHEATER!!!!

Lance: Aw, shucks. (he turns over the "3 fives" which are actually an ace, a ten, and an eight)

Will: My turn. Two fives.

(no accusation)

Clair: Two fives. 

(no accusation)

Karen: 1 four. 

(no accusation)

(the game continues smoothly, and let's just say Clair wins)

Clair: OH YEAH!!! I beat you, and I'm a Gym Leader! You guys are the "most powerful" in the league, yeah right! (she exits, smirking)

Lance: She annoys me.

Karen: It's not that hard to figure out…

Will: What do we do now?

Lance: I don't care what you guys do, but I'm going to watch a special on dragon Pokemon. (he walks off to his gym)

Will: Ummm… Perhaps I'll go eat breakfast… (leaves)

Karen: Me too. (she also exits)

(Lance sticks his head out of his gym)

Lance: Me three! I'm STARVING!!! (the trio walk along to wherever when they bump into the authors)

TCL: What are you guys doing here? I'm going to write your story later!

Lance: Yeah, whatever. We're going to eat.

TCL: Oh, okay. In that case, let's go to McDonalds since they have awesome sausage biscuits. (starts drooling, but then regains self and wipes it off) 

DClick: Fine with me.

PyroV: Me too.

(the next scene takes us to McDonalds, where an oh-so-familiar scene is taking place)

Clair: Morty, pass the salt.

Morty: What's my fault?

Clair: Morty, pass the SALT.

Morty: I'm already at a halt.

Clair: SALT, Morty!

Morty: Oh, the salt. (he gives Clair the "salt")

Clair: No Morty, this is the pepper!

Morty: I gave you the salt!

Clair: AARRRRRRGGH!!! JASMINE, GIMME THE SALT!!!

(Jasmine passes the salt)

Clair: Thankyou! (she glares at Morty, who shrugs)

(suddenly the Powerpuff girls fly in)

Buttercup: See guys, I told you we was in the wrong fic!

Blossom: Who cares? (they walk up to the counter)

Buttercup: HELLO? ANYONE BACK THERE?? WE'RE READY TO ORDER HERE!!!

(the Pokemon cast stares at the PPG)

Lance: Who let the munchkins in the fic???

TCL: It wasn't me! See, I'm a character! Excuse me, girls?

Bubbles: Yes?

TCL: Umm… We're sort of making a fic here…

Buttercup: Oh GREAT!!! Urgh! (they grap their food and leave)

TCL: That was nothing short of weird.

Lccorp2: Yeah. (is glugging down something)

TCL: What are you eating?

Lc2: Chlorinated bleach. But if you want a hydrocarbon rush, I'm sure I can talk Flareon into lending you some gasoline.

TCL: Nevermind…

(Lccorp2 shrugs)

(Tracey runs in)

Tracey: Oh my! Rare Pokemon Trainers! I've gotta get a sketch of this! (he starts sketching the Gym Leaders/E4/Authors)

Everyone who's being drawn: NOOOOOOO! We're appearing on Tracey's sketchpad! (they begin to pummel Tracey)

(PinkScyther walks in)

PinkScyther: Oh, I love these blades! (begins to make short work of Tracey)

Tracey: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

TCL: PS, please take all actions of blood and gore away from the fic. (leads the remains of Tracey and PS outside) If you want to destroy Tracey, then-

Miss Misty USA: LEMME HELP!!!

Aurora Chan: I WANNA KILL TRACEY!!!

TCL: Okay, okay. Go and kill him if you want. Smash/Turnip Girl, if you're reading this… TAKE NO OFFENSE!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

(all stares at TCL) 

TCL: What?

(meanwhile, back at somewhere)

(Koga and Bruno are leaving)

Koga: I really really hope Corrector9Yui doesn't want to kill us again…

Bruno: What did we ever do to her?

(They leave and go back to the plateau, keeping clear of all suspicious individuals that look like they may pose a threat)

A/N: That wasn't very funny… Oh well…


	7. When Vacuums Attack

TCL: (at school) this isn't funny. I'm a prisoner in my own school. (she slouches in her seat. Surrounding her are a wide variety of authors/Pokemon/unrecognizable stuff)

C9Y: This is the lowest of the low. It's an FF.Net class!

All: (screams)

Teacher: Good morning class. I would like you to hand in your essays. (he walks around the room, saying the titles of various essays)

TCL: Mine is horrible…

Sonicrazy91: (whispering) Where do I put this dynamite?

TCL: Somewhere where it'll make the biggest explosion.

Sc91: (shrugs) 'kay. (sticks it in the teacher's desk)

(The class giggles, and the teacher doesn't notice)

Teacher: (reading Lccorp2's) Lc, were you feeling okay when you wrote this?

Lccorp2: I was high on chlorinated bleach, but other than that I was okay.

Teacher: o_0 

C9Y: (whispers to TCL) Get ready!

Class: 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1… BAIL!!!!

(everyone runs out as fast as they can)

Teacher: What is the meaning of this???

TCL: Eh-heh. (presses a red button on a portable control device)

Ka-BOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

C9Y: Soooo… Who's going to clean up the remains of the teacher?

TCL: Not I.

Everyone else: Me neither! (they run away)

~*~*~MEANWHILE~*~*~

Lance: …127, 128, 129, 130, 131. Wow. That's a lot.

(Will walks in)

Will: What are you counting, Lance?

Lance: I'm counting how long Tracey can stand on his head before the blood rushes to his head and blows up.

Will: That explains the amount of random pieces of Tracey all over your gym, huh?

Lance: yeah.

(Yes, I am going to be nice to Lance, for once. Never thought that would happen)

Will: Ok. (he leaves)

(Lance sits down and turns on the TV)

Lance: I wonder if there's anything on… 

(the channel he turns on just happens to have a vacuum commercial on.)

Lance: Oh great. Not another DirtDevil advertisement. -_-

(The vacuum suddenly becomes 3 dimensional, comes out of the TV, and sucks Lance into its chambers. The vacuum grows to ten times its normal size, now becoming the height of a four-story building)

(Okay, so maybe I'm not THAT nice to Lance)

Will: Oh boy. (he looks at the vacuum) 

Karen: Why is there a giant vacuum…?

Koga and Bruno: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

Lance: Help.

(the authors rush in, armed with swords and weapons from Eskimo Jolteon Episode 27)

Lccorp2: (aiming explosives) Ready… aim…

All: FIRE!!!

(they fire a bunch of highly-powered explosive bullets at the vacuum cleaner, which shoots tiny lasers back at them)

TCL: (into walkie-talkie) It's not working! We're loosing men!

(Corrector9Yui gets shot down)

TCL: (into walkie-talkie) Or women, whichever you prefer… We need backup! Fast! 

(the entire cast of every single fan fic of Lccorp2, TCL, C9Y, PyroVulpix, Sonicrazy91, DClick, Miss Misty USA, I LUV Ash Ketchum Etc. appears and begins to pummel the vacuum)

Jolteon*: (on Lasrea**'s back) Take this! (fires a wide variety of machine gun bullets at the vacuum)

(Rattata*** sails by on Pidgey****'s back)

Rattata: How do we take it out?

PyroVulpix: With flame! Flame I tell you! (fires a jet stream of flames at the vacuum)

TCL: And don't forget my handy-dandy Crimson Aeroblast! (smirks and blasts the vacuum)

(They fight against the seemingly indestructable vacuum for hours, before-)

__

Clunk. 

All: WE HAVE DEFEATED THE VACUUM! REJOICE!!! (they bounce up and down)

TCL: Hey, does anyone have any cookies? Or cheeseburgers?

(The fic characters go back in the fics)

Lccorp2: Nah. But I got plenty of bleach. 

TCL: …Forget I asked.

Bruno: Oh my gosh, what happened in here?

TCL: We were destroying the vacuum.

Bruno: Oh, okay. (he turns around and leaves)

(Lance crawls out of the remnants of the vacuum)

Lance: I am never ever watching a vacuum advertisement again!

(Meanwhile, in a land far, far away)

Tracey: Blast it! Those stupid authors ruined all of my plans! But beware, my evil mutant vacuum cleaners shall succeed next time! Then I will take over the world! (evil witch cackle)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

*Jolteon is from Lccorp2's Eskimo Jolteon

**Lasrea is from TCL (me!)'s Thus Ancient Hearts Alike

***Rattata is from PyroVulpix's Pidgey and Me

****Pidgey is from PyroVulpix's Pidgey and Me again

Thank you for your attention. You may leave now. 


	8. Revenge of the Champ

A/N: I've been getting a lot of complaints about how mean I was being to Lance… So to make up for it, this entire chapter is dedicated to Lance's revenge! ^_^ (realizes what she has just said) MEEP! (runs away)

(today starts off like any other bad day… The Elite Four are plotting another evil prank on Lance. They're in Karen's gym, which is the gym closest to Lance's.)

Bruno: So, we need to decide on something. Is it going to be the stink bomb?

Karen: I thought we agreed on the cold water! (holds up several bucketloads of freezing cold water. No duh, Karen wanted revenge on Lance from what happened in the beginning of Chapter 2)

Will: What about the bee? (holds up a container containing a very agitated bee)

Koga: Well let's agree on SOMETHING!!!

(This morning, Lance heard them arguing and knew at once what they were up to.)

Lance: Oh jeez. This is embarrassing. Why didn't they plot in Will's gym? I mean it's the farthest away, and I'd have the least chance of hearing them. (listens)

Will, Bruno, and Karen: (arguing over the stinkbombs, water, and the bee)

Koga: WAIT!!! I've got an idea! Why don't we use ALL THREE?

Will, Bruno, and Karen: OH YEAH!

(They grab their respective weapons and trail closely behind Koga. Bruno is snickering, Will is muttering to himself, and Karen is cursing Lance under her breath for what he did in Chapter 2. )

Karen: Good for nothing little… Why I oughta-

Koga: (scowls at Karen) Stop before you use some language. This is PG, for heaven's sake!

Karen: Sorry. 

(Koga cautiously opens the door to Lance's quarters. They see a lump in the bedcovers which could only be Lance.)

Koga: On 3! One… Two… THREE!!!

(Bruno hurls the stinkbombs in the room, Karen pours the freezing water all over the bed, and Will lifts up the covers, shakes the bee in, then quickly drops them with a confused look)

Will: Wait a sec… Ermm… Guys… Lance isn't in the bed.

All: HE'S NOT???

(Bruno and Koga check. Under the covers is a bunch of pillows. No Lance)

Karen: Well?

Koga: He's not in here.

(The E4 hear evil laughter, and suddenly the door closes behind them)

Bruno: Lance? Hey, let us out!

Voice: NEVA!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

(the E4 stare at each other for a while, before Bruno cries out in pain)

Bruno: YOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!! OW, OW, OW, OW, OWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

All but Bruno: WHAT?

Bruno: MY LEG! (holds his leg while screaming OW)

Will: Man, it STINKS in here! 

Karen: Phew! (covers her nose)

Koga: Ugh…_

(Will, Karen, and Koga glare at Bruno for the stinkbombs)

Bruno: MY LEEEGGGGGGG!!!

All but Bruno: WHAT???

Koga: Lemme see! (looks at Bruno's leg. He hears a buzzing noise) 

Bruno: WILL, THAT IDIOT BEE THAT YOU LET IN JUST BIT ME ON THE LEG A BUNCH OF TIMES WHAT KIND OF PSYCHIC ARE YOU SURELY YOU WOULD'VE KNOWN WE WOULD'VE BEEN TRAPPED IN HERE AND I WOULD'VE BEEN BIT AND ALL THEREFORE YOU'RE A LOUSY PSYCHIC AND I WANT MY MONEY BACK AAAAAAAHHHH OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW Okay I'm done.

All but Bruno: O.O

Will: Correction: Stung you on the leg. Bees do NOT bite. (evil grin) Yes, actually I did know the part about you being stung was going to happen. 

Bruno: O_O Y-you monster!

(Will and Bruno get in a fight. A dust cloud appears around them)

(the dust clears, and Bruno is lying with X eyes on the ground)

Bruno: X_X

Will: ^_^ A word to the wise- never try to outmuscle a psychic. (floats off of Bruno's battered body and walks over to the door) Meh. It's locked. (thinks for a moment, then curses) Man! It's a psychic-proof lock, too! 

Koga: Bruno probably could've broken down the door, but- (points to Bruno)

Bruno: X_X

Will: Whoops… Sorry ^_^;

(Will runs away from an incredibly infuriated Koga and Karen)

Will: SORRY! If you guys would stop chasing me perhaps- Nah…

Koga: What?

Will: I almost hate to do this. (revives Bruno with his psychic powers)

Bruno: (clutching head) Oh the agony.

Will: Bruno, break down the door.

Bruno: Wh-

Will, Karen, and Koga: (towering over Bruno) BREAK DOWN THE DOOR!!!

Bruno: uh… ok.

(Bruno slams into the door. It falls over immediately)

Will: (grins evilly, does something psychic, and Bruno tips over looking very frozen)

Koga: OMG! YOU KILLED KENN- I MEAN, BRUNO!

Will: Nah, I didn't kill him. Just put him out for a little while.

Koga: I wonder what everyone has against him…

Karen: Who knows.

Will: Who cares.

(They leave)

Koga: Guys?

Karen: yeah?

Koga: Who closed the door on us, anyway?

Will: Maybe Lance. 

(silence)

Koga: Do you have the feeling like we're being watched?

Will: Nah, what gave you that-

(a tribe of cannibals appear. They grab the E4… Er… E3… and run off with them)

Will: (finishing sentence) …idea. -_-

Koga: PUT US DOWN!!!

Lance: (running behind the cannibals) Faster, mortals! They must meet their demise!

Will: …

Karen: …

Koga: SQUEAK!

Will: O_O

Karen: O_O

Koga: Squeak?

(With a lot more squeaking from Koga, the cannibals and E3 eventually make it to Three rooms. One is pitch-black and filled with Dark type Pokemon. One is Purple-ish and filled with Psychic type Pokemon. The last is rocky and filled with Fighting type Pokemon)

Will, Koga, and Karen: ???

Lance: THIS IS WHERE YOU MEET YOUR END! 8-D MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Koga: Squeak…

Karen: Honestly-

Lance: TO THE DUNGEONS!!! BWAHAHAHA! (he tosses Koga into the Psychic room, Karen into the Fighting room, and Will into the Dark Room)

(TCL appears)

TCL: WHAT IN THE NAME OF MOLTRES IS GOING ON HERE??? 

Lance: REVENGE!

TCL: You're being a nuisance, and momma don't like dat.

Lance: TOO BAD! (he tosses TCL, being a Psy-type, into the Dark room with Will. Don't you dare ask me how puny human Lance managed to toss a 4 or 5 hundred pound Lugia that's been eating too many cookies like that)

TCL: AAAAAH! HOUNDOUR! (chomp) OW! A HOUNDOOM! (chomp) OWWW!!! A SNEASEL! (slash) OWWWWWWW! AN UMBREON! (silence)

The Umbreon: Hiya! It's me, the were-Umbreon!

TCL: Lc? How on Earth did you get in-

Lccorp2: Seems there was a flaw in Lance's plan. C'mon, I'll show ya the exit.

TCL: I owe you one. ^_^ 

Lccorp2: Whatever. Here's the exit. (they run out)

Will: HEY! What about-

Dark Pokemon: (snarl)

Will: (squeaky voice)….m-m-me? YOW!!!!!!! 

(back to Lance)

Lance: Ah… Nothing like revenge… Although it didn't last too long… (grins and listens to the three Elites scream)

(Bruno walks in)

Lance: HUH? Bruno? Oh well… Why don't you go in- (tosses Bruno in the Psychic room) BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Bruno: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

(the picture blacks out)


	9. The Power Of Cheese

A/N: Yui, that was sooooooooo not a good idea. (growls)Anyone who's wondering what's going on, read my bio and then read her review. 

Hmmm… Then again, you gave me cookies, so…. I guess I will spare your life… this ONE time (smirks) Next time, however, you won't be so lucky (munches on the cookies) All righty, let's get-a started now! ^_^

(the first scene shows Lance sitting atop his mighty throne-like chair with the Elite Four in front of him)

Elite Four: (zombie-like voices) We must obey Master Lance… We must obey Master Lance… (they hurry about, doing various chores for "Master Lance")

~AUTHOR'S NOTE (commercial music plays)~

You know why I hate Lance so much? Simple. He fits my personality soooooooo much, that… well… I dislike him! I mean, he's got all my favorite Pokemon with the exception of Dragonite, he's the most powerful trainer (twirls her GB Lugia's Pokeball around), I mean, he even SOUNDS the same with all the champ stuff, therefore I hate him. He sounds like me too much, so I don't like 'im. I'll give you a cookie if that even started to make one little bit of sense to any of you.

~BACK TO THE FIC. THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND ATTENTION~

Will: We must- (shakes head) huh? What's going on?

Lance: Uh-oh! 

Will: Lance? (he regains full control) HEY WAIT A MINUTE… (gives Lance a death glare)

Lance: Ummm… Uh…. HEY WILL! LOOK OVER THERE!

Will: Nice try.

Lance: Squeak…

Koga: (snaps out of it) Huh? Did someone squeak?

Karen: (snaps out of it as well) Not me.

Bruno: We must obey Master Lance… We must obey Master Lance…

Karen and Koga: Huh???? O_O

Will: Yup. Lance has been (DUN DUN DUN) Controlling us! (horror movie scream)

(silence)

Karen: Umm…How?

Will: Eh-heh-heh-heh… I haven't figured that out yet.

(All but Will falls over anime-style)

Lance: The answer is very simple, oh foolish Psychic one!

Will: (flatly) Oh really?

Lance: WITH THE POWER OF CHEESE! (holds up a staff. On the tip of it is a hunk of cheese)

Koga: Squeak.

Lance: Shut up! (points the rod at Koga)

Koga: (eyes glaze over) I am in your control…

Lance: Silent!

(Koga does not say anything)

Lance: Muahahahaha.

Will: Does that thing really work? (waves a hand in front of Koga's face)

Lance: Yep! (points the rod at Will)

Will: (similar effects to Koga) I am in your control…

Lance: Gooood. I command you to… (thinks) Oooh! I've got it! 

Bruno: What?

Lance: BWAHAHAHAHAHA! GO JUMP IN THE LAVA IN BRUNO'S GYM! (evil laughter)

Will: WHAT? NO WAY!

Lance: NO! The power of cheese is failing! (contemplates)

Will:…Lance?

(Shhhh! He's contemplating!)

Will: Oh, okay.

Bruno: What does contemplate mean?

(To think, you moron. Now shaddap.)

Bruno: Sheesh, some people…

Lance: Ah well, maybe it doesn't work as good on Psychic People… (aims rod at Bruno) Bruno!

Bruno: I am in your control…

Lance: bwahahahaha. ACT LIKE A DUCK!

Bruno: Quack. Quack. (waddles stupidly around the gym)

(everyone but Koga stares) 

Koga: I am still in your control…

Lance: Koga… umm… Eat Bruno!

Koga: (leaps at Bruno and begins chewing on his hair)

Lance: Bwahahahahaha. (aims rod at Karen)

Karen: I am in your control…

Lance: Ummm… Errrr… Ummm… (tosses Karen a marshmellow) Sing "Mary Had a Little Lamb" as loud as you can while eating that marshmellow! BWAHAHAHAHA!

Karen: (eats marshmellow) Mary had a little lamb… little lamb… little lamb… (I don't want to go into details, people.)

Will: Wazzup with the marshmellow? 0_o

Lance: Maybe, just maybe, she'll be singing so hard she'll choke on it when she's eating it!

Will: 0_o

Lance: Bwahahahahahahahaha!

Will: Lance, exactly how many times have you laughed evilly like that since the start of this chapter?

Lance: …a lot.

Will: Oh, okay.

Karen: (really bad singing) …Followed her to school one day… school one day… school one day… It followed her to school one day…

(Lance and Will cover their ears)

Lance: I'm bored.

Will: (pointing out the door) Why don't you have fun with your cheese rod on the gym leaders or something? 

Lance: Okay. (walks out)

(Karen, Koga, and Bruno snap out of their trances)

Bruno: Why am I flapping my arms?

Koga: Why am I eating Bruno?

Karen: Why was I singing? No wait… WHAT was I singing?

Will: Mary had a little lamb.

Karen: ?!?!?!?!?

Will: Lance's cheese rod had all of you under its spell.

All: NOW WE MUST GET REVENGE! BWAHAHAHAHA!

(Meanwhile.)

Guy on TV: Lately, local gym leaders have been seen doing miraculous things. The cause of this phenomenon is currently unknown.

(TV shows a picture of Bugsy doing the Hokey-Pokey on a thin wooden plank 5 feet above a pool of piranhas)

Bugsy: you put your right foot in, you put your right foot out, you put your right foot in aaaaand you shake it all about!

Guy on TV: Sad, isn't it. 

(TV shows a picture of Clair standing out in a public area singing "I'm a Barbie girl" song [A/N: If you don't know how it goes, consider yourself lucky. When I was in third or so grade boys always used to sing that song mockingly on the bus just to annoy us girls. Living nightmare.], while balancing several loaves of bread on her head.)

Clair: I'm a Barbie girll… In a barbie worrrlddd…

Guy on TV: The source of this strange act of stupidity is being researched by many of our top specialists now. 

Lance: (watching TV) Muahahahahahaha… Everyone shall come to fear Master Lance soon enough… (cackles and walks off while clutching his Cheese Rod evilly)

Mysterious Voices: STOP RIGHT THERE, EVIL VILLAIN!

Lance: Wha-?

Mysterious Voices: YOU MUST STOP THIS INSTANT!

Lance: Who are you?

Mysterious Voices: We are…

Voice #1: Cosmic Koga!

Voice #2: Bionic Bruno!

Voice #3: Wonder-Will!

Voice #4: And Catastrophic Karen!

Mysterious Voices: And we are here to end your streak of cheesy evil-ness!

Lance: Oh no!

Mysterious Voices: (step into the light to reveal that they are…)

Lance: THE ELITE FOUR!!! (gasp)

(You never would've guessed, right?)

Lance: Me and my cheese rod were almost successful in taking over the gym leaders too! : ( Wait, I controlled you once, I can do it again! (aims cheese rod at the Elites)

E4: Bwa ha ha ha! We have repelled the evil cheese with the one thing that repells evil cheese!

Lance: What repells evil cheese? 

E4: GARLIC BREAD!!!

Lance: Oh, Garlic… Wait a sec, garlic BREAD???

E4: YES! (take out garlic bread and stuff it in their mouths)

Lance: …..

E4: (hurl garlic bread at Lance)

Lance: Aaaaaaaah! (runs away, leaving cheese rod powerless on the floor)

E4: (destroy cheese rod, laughing in the Champion's idiotic defeat)

Lance: ….So much for my revenge…

(That was last chapter! The Elites are getting THEIR revenge now! 

Lance: …Grrrrrrrrr…

(screen fades out)

A/N: That was waaaaay weirder than I intended… o_0 I think I ate too many cookies… Wait! I take it back! You can never have too many! (eats cookies) BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


	10. The Elite Four Hold A Barbecue

(next morning. Koga has gathered up all the rest of the Elite Four/Lance into his gym in an attempt to make an announcement)

Koga: Listen up everyone…

E4/Lance: What?

Koga: We're having a barbecue!

E4/Lance: ….(stare at Koga)

Koga: …What?

E4/Lance: Koga?

Koga: What?

E4/Lance: We can't cook!

Koga: Hmmm… that is a problem… Especially since I already invited all the Gym Leaders…

Lance: You WHAT???

Will: KOGA!!!

Karen: Next time, ask US first!

Koga: (sweatdrops)

Lance: Well, if everything's all set up… 

Koga: Yup! I have the stuff and all right outside on the lawn of the Indigo Plateau! ^_^

Lance: And the food?

Koga: I thought you would have some.

All: (glare at Koga)

Lance: (groan) Well, first of all we need someone to buy the food, and someone to stay here and get everything ready.

(pause)

Lance: You four go. Karen's good at shopping, Bruno claims to be good around food, Will can help you get stuff off of high shelves with his Psychic powers and teleport you around, and Koga…

Koga: Yeah?

Lance: You're going because… I said so.

Koga: (sulks) If I'm not needed to get the food, why can't I stay here and help you?

Lance: I don't know… Fine, you can stay.

Koga: Yippee.

Lance: (glare) Now, before you three head off to buy stuff, Koga and I will make a list.

Koga: We will?

Lance: Yeah.

Koga: Okay.

(Lance and Koga take half an hour making a highly detailed list, and then they hand it to Karen)

Karen: Ok. Can we go now? ^_^

Lance: Yup.

Karen: Okies! (skips out)

All: o_0

Bruno: What's with her?

Will and Lance: no clue.

Koga: Barbecue… (drools)

(everyone backs away slowly from Koga)

~SOME TIME LATER~

Bruno: I wanna hold the list!

Karen: No.

Bruno: Please please please please please…

Karen: NO.

Bruno: Pretty pretty please with a huge mound of dark Pokemon on top? (gets puppy dog eyes)

Karen: o_0 NO!!!! (runs off with the list)

Will: (staring at them) 

Bruno: PLEASE????

Karen: GRRRRRRR… fine, HOLD THE FREAKING LIST FOR ALL I CARE! (hands Bruno the list)

Bruno: (spotlight falls on him) (heavenly music plays) Yaaaaaayyyyyy….

Karen: Errrr…. (walks off quickly, leaving Bruno still in a pose in the spotlight)

Will: Bruno? Come on…

Bruno: (faints at the sheer excitement of being trusted with a list of such ungodly importance)

Will: Oh great, just my luck- (Sees the list face down in a mud puddle) GAK! (picks it up)

Karen: (running back) What is it???

Will: (holds up the soggy unreadable list)

Karen: Oh god, Lance and Koga are going to kill us… 

Will: I don't wanna be there… (disappears)

Karen: WILL??? Hey, one-third of the blame is on you too you know! GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!!!

~SOMEWHERE IN EGYPT~

Tour Guide: And this is a Walla-Walla Umpa-Lumpa Sphinx, most common back in the 1800's. To the left you can see an invisible pyramid. 

Guy: I can't see an invisible pyramid!!!

Tour Guide: That's nice. Over on the right is a rare Tiger Monkey. It corners its prey, then melts the victim's brains with reruns of Digimon. 

(Will teleports on top of the Tiger Monkey)

Tiger Monkey: Hooo! (turns into a TV)

Tour Guide: As you can see, the Tiger Monkey is demonstrating its evilness to that unfortunate human.

Will: …?

Tiger Monkey: (TV begins to play the dreaded Digimon reruns! Gasp! Scream! Other horror-genre sound FX here!)

Will: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH…

~MEANWHILE, BACK ON THE WAY TO THE STORE~

(Karen and Bruno hear a familiar scream from several million miles away)

(Karen and Bruno stare at each other)

Bruno: I don't even wanna know.

Karen: What do we do??? We have to get that food, otherwise Koga and Lance will kill us!

Bruno: We'll say Will took it with him when he teleported somewhere else.

Karen: Good idea.

(they walk off to the store)

(Next scene takes us to- HOLY MOLY, DID BRUNO JUST GIVE A **_SMART_** SUGGESTION??? THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT!!!)

~The author apologizes for the inconvenience. We are starting over from a certain part in this piece. Thank you for your attention~

~MEANWHILE, BACK ON THE WAY TO THE STORE~

(Karen and Bruno hear a familiar scream from several million miles away)

(Karen and Bruno stare at each other)

Bruno: I don't even wanna know.

Karen: What do we do??? We have to get that food, otherwise Koga and Lance will kill us!

(this is where it goes wrong. I'll fix it!)

Bruno: I have no idea. (Typical stupid Bruno! Yay for me!)

Karen: We'll say Will took it with him when he teleported somewhere else.

Bruno: Good idea. I never would've thought of that. 

(They walk off to the store)

(AH! That's more like it! Eh-heh… Sorry for the interruptions)

(Next scene takes us to… *dun dun DUN* THE STORE!)

Karen: Wowww….

Bruno: It's biggg…

Karen: Well, let's go inside…

(And so our two brave heroes… Err…. Lemme start that again… And so our brave hero and the stupid brown-haired geek known as Bruno entered THE STORE… EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!)

A/N: Well, I'll stop for now, since I've reached the normal length for a chapter to this fic… But I will right more very very soon! Eeheheehehehehehehe! (eats a cookie) 


	11. Never Let Bruno Cook

(Ah, we're back. Now where were we…? Oh yes, Karen and Bruno have entered THE STORE. Eeee.)

Bruno: (looks around) Clothes…

Bruno: (looks the other way) Clothes…

Bruno: (sees clothes everywhere!!!) CLOTHES!!! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!

Karen: Shut up, you loser. (walks off to the food section)

(Bruno forgets about the list and goes off into the toy section. Bad baad baaad Bruno. He's a naughty boy, yes. Let's have some fun with him.)

Bruno: Ooh! Awesome! (picks up an action figure from some kid show) (begins playing with it) (sings the Action Man theme song)

Action Man Action Figure: Yo, DUDE!!!

Bruno: !?!?!?!

(The Action Man Figure looks like a normal toy. Strange… Bruno could've sworn it just talked!)

Bruno: This is creepy… (looks away from AMAF and looks at all these Pokemon card packs)

AMAF: (gets up and kicks Bruno in the… umm… spot.)

Bruno: Yikes! (turns around)

(AMAF is still and looks like a toy)

Bruno: (flatly) Someone kicked me in the hiney, and I intend to find out who! (walks through the isles, picking up "Crash Helmet Barbie" on the way) 

Bruno: It's YOUR fault, isn't it, Crash Helmet Barbie???

Crash Helmet Barbie: No, I was sitting here being an innocent girl's play thing until YOU started abusing me!

Bruno: Eh…?

Crash Helmet Barbie: Army, ATTACK!!! (billions of Barbies, Teresa-Or-whatever-the-heck-barbie's-friend's-name-is, and Kens fall on Bruno, covering him)

Bruno: !!!! (gets squashed)

AMAF: (brushes self off) Nice job, for a girl toy.

Crash Helmet Barbie: Come on, Action Man Toy, let us toss the carcass of this ugly creature (points to Bruno) Out of our pure isle! (takes off crash helmet, revealing lots of disgustingly blond hair)

~AUTHORS NOTE~ (commercial music plays)

I have nothing against blond hair, unless it is attached to a Barbie.

~BACK TO THE FIC.~

AMAF: Agreed! 

CHB: Army of Kens, Barbies, and friends, carry out orders!

(Bruno's X_X form is moved out of the toy isle)

Bruno: ughh… What happened?

(End of the fun! Back to Karen! Yip-a-dee-yay!)

Karen: (walking along) Let's see… We'll need hot dogs and hamburgers, of course… potato chips… cookies… (A/N: COOKIES!!!! *eats cookie*) and…

Will: (appears in front of her. He is dazed, unstable, staggering etc.) Don't… forget…to…eat…your…veggies… (passes out)

Karen: Errrr… (walks over his body and continues buying food)

~SOME TIME LATER~

Lance: I wonder where the others are… They should've been back an hour ago…

Koga: And Morty, Clair, and Jasmine are already here!

Lance: Remembering the events that occurred in chapters 1 and 5, I think we should either 1. Get Morty a hearing aid. 2. Seat Clair and Morty at different tables.

Koga: Morty doesn't need a hearing aid, he just doesn't interpret what others are saying very good.

Lance: Yeah, sure. I think we'll just have boy and girl tables.

Koga: Ok.

Lance: Yup yup yuppers! (best way to say "yes" there is, folks! Yup yup yuppers! Say it now! Yup… yup… yuppers! Yeee-hah!)

(Karen walks in, dragging behind her [on ropes, of course] a very injured looking Bruno and a very dazed looking Will)

Lance: I'm not even gonna ask…

Karen: good.

Koga: Ummm… Author person?

(What?)

Koga: How can Karen drag Will and Bruno like that? She's a GIRL…

(DON'T YOU DARE UNDERESTIMATE GIRLS!!!)

Koga: Oookkk…

Karen: (death-glares Koga) Are you saying you don't believe in my strength?

Koga: Well…

Karen: That's a BAD idea. (punches Koga)

Koga: OW! You punch like a GIRL!

Karen: I AM A GIRL!

Koga: That's why it hurts! Ow! (limps off)

(Bruno wakes up)

Bruno: The horror…

Lance: Bruno, cook the stuff. (hands Bruno the food)

Bruno: You've asked the right person! 

Karen: (whispering to Lance) The barbies have gone to his brain. He can't cook!

Lance: (whispering back) Barbies? What the hell are you talking about?

Karen: …Never mind.

(Will wakes up) 

Will: (still in a sub-conscious state, apparently) No mom… my history project's not due for three more years… Let me sleep in…

Karen: Let's put him out of his misery. (picks up a giant mallet and bangs Will on the head with it)

Will: (unconscious again)

Lance: Let's leave him like that…

Karen: Agreed.

~SOME TIME LATER~

Bruno: Ta-da! (presents them with… FOOD!)

Everyone but Bruno: oooh… aahhh…

Karen: (whispering to Clair, who is sitting right next to her) I can't believe it! It looks like Bruno has actually cooked this RIGHT!

(everyone gasps)

Lance: It looks too good! Let's just eat!

Everyone: Okay!

(everyone jumps right into their food. Almost immediately, they all recoil in terror, making gross noises)

Will: (He eventually came to his senses. Luckily the effects of being forced to watch Digimon reruns aren't permanent) SICK!

Karen: You sooooooo can't cook, Bruno!

Bruno: …Wha…?

Lance: Disgusting!

Everyone else: (mixed comments of "Ugh!" "sick!" "disgusting!" "terrible!" "Nasty!" etc.)

Bruno: But- But I followed the cookbook…

Will: (staring at his hot dog) Bruno… You got the stuff mixed up… There's… (takes a closer inspection) (turns very pale)

Lance: What?

Will: There's something in this hot dog… And all of yours too.

(everyone is silent)

Everyone: What is it?

Will: You REALLY, REALLY, REALLY don't wanna know.

Everyone: We'll take your word for it. (slides their plates away)

Bruno: But… but…

Everyone: YOU EAT IT, BRUNO!

Bruno: No…

(the authors walk in)

C9Y: What's going on?

TCL: oooh, barbecue… COOKIES! (grabs the bag of cookies)

Will: Uh, don't eat those…

TCL: (stuffing cookies in mouth) Why? Do you want some? (offers bag of cookies)

Will: no…

TCL: Then what?

Will: (whispers something to TCL)

TCL: (eyes get wide, jaw hits floor, and turns from crimson to a very deep shade of green) Aiiyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! (runs off into the distance)

Lccorp2 the Were-Umbreon: (eating a hamburger) what's wrong?

C9Y: (eating a brownie) What's up with the food?

(Will tells them too)

C9Y and Lccorp2: Aiyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! (follow TCL)

All: *blink*

Lance: Bruno, you sooooooo can't cook.

Bruno: Errr…

All: (pummel Bruno)

A/N: I know, I'll try to make it funnier next chapter… But today is a rare, writer's block-less day and I tried to take advantage of that ;) 


	12. The Results of Boredom

A/N: FOR ALL THAT WONDERED WHAT ON EARTH WAS IN THE STUFF BRUNO MADE: I haven't figured that much out, just think of it as the most disgusting thing to you. Someone suggested Barbie hairs, well that IS a possibility… (laughs evilly) Or perhaps it was *gasp* BRUNO GERMS! Eeeeeeee!

Ok… Sorry, I probably should've mentioned what actually WAS in the food… Was just too lazy ^_^;;

Oh yeah, someone also suggested that the Gym Leaders (especially Kanto's) be in the fic more. Because I always *coughusuallycough* listen to suggestions, this one will have them in it and quite a lot, too! Ok, on with it!

Lance: (in microphone) Hello, fellow League-ers! We are gathered here today to compose many greatly annoying songs!

All: Yay! (clap clap)

Lance: Here's how it will work! Falkner, we start with you, and you have to sing a sentence about a random person, place, or thing that you can make up! We'll go from Falkner to Clair, then Brock to Blue, and then from Will to (points to self) ME! Then the authors will add on to it, and it will end when the last author in here (points to PyroVulpix) finishes it up! 

Lccorp2: TCL! YOU STOLE MY IDEA! (turns into an Umbreon) I'LL GET YOU!!! (to camera) remember kids, don't try this at home.

TCL: Eh-heh-heh-heh… I needed something!

Lccorp2: Grrr…(chases)

Lance: (sweatdrops) Oookayy… Falkner, start!

Falkner: (thinks) Oh! I've got it… (sings)One day Ash fell in-to a hole!

Bugsy: (singing also) He turned into a giant mole!

Whitney: Pikachu got blown away!

Morty: He'll come back next Independence Day!

Chuck: Tracey got stuck in a pile of dung!

Jasmine: They towed him out and he was hung!

Pryce: And Lugia came soaring by…

Clair: To ensure that Tracey would die!

Brock: Ash ran into a bee!

Misty: Who chased him up a Christmas tree!

Lt. Surge: The Christmas Tree began to fall

Erika: And he ran into the wall!

Janine: Along came Santa Claus

Sabrina: Who ate the applause

Blaine: And watched the movie Jaws

Blue: While counting flaws

Will: In Hungarian Laws!

Koga: Rudolph played a flute

Bruno: While eating a dirty boot!

Karen: And Ash found a Recycling bin

Lance: who chased him up the Tree again!

TCL: (still running from Lc)He turned into a cookie!

Lccorp2: (Still chasing TCL) And claimed he was a rookie…

C9Y: Because he is a bookie…

PV: (yawning) And then everything burned in flames. The End.

(everyone stares at PV)

TCL: hey, does anyone know where the other authors are, like Shadow-I LUV Ash Ketchum and the others?

SILAK: (walks up)(glaring at TCL) You were hurting Ash in the song?

TCL: Ooops… I knew that would be a problem…

(at this point, TCL is being chased by SILAK and Lccorp2 along with a majority of readers who are disgusted by the vile song she had the characters sing)

TCL: But I couldn't think of anythiiiiing! Let me gooooooo!

~SOME TIME LATER~

Lance: That was fun. (watches TCL being chased outside) We sing, she takes the blame. (reclines in his chair, leaning back dangerously close to the window. Very dangerously close indeed… You can guess what happens now, right?)

TCL: (seeing Lance out of the corner of her eye) Grrr… Just for that…

**__**

SNAP! CRASH! 

(Lance's chair snaps and he crashes through the window, shattering glass in every which way.)

Lance: (outside) Owww…. 

TCL: Humph. Serves you right.

Lance: (pouts)

TCL: Hmmm… Let's have some fun, shall we not? (cackles evilly) Ooh, I have just the thing!

(C9Y appears and also begins to chase TCL)

C9Y: Leave Lance alone, you BARBARIAN! 

TCL: (gasp) You dare to threaten ME???

C9Y: (calmly) Yes.

TCL: Uh… Ok. Fine, I'll be nicer to Lance. Then who do I torture?

(Lccorp2, C9Y, and SILAK look at each other, smile and nod, then whisper something to TCL)

TCL: Ah yes, what a good ide- (turns pale) N-no.. Not that… Uh… 

~SOME TIME LATER~

TCL: I am going to kill you. 8-(

(TCL is tied up to a pole with the authors around her eating cookies, making TCL extremely hungry)

TCL: Cookies… Must have… cookies… (shakes head) No! Must… be…calm..

C9Y: (eating a cookie in front of TCL's face very evilly) What?

TCL: PLEASE!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT! LC I'M SORRY I "TOOK" YOUR IDEA SHADOW ILAK I'M SORRY I WAS MEAN TO ASH AND YUI I'M SORRY I WAS THINKING ABOUT BEING MEAN TO LANCE JUST **PLEASE** GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE!!! THIS IS TORTURE!!! (cries)

Lccorp2: Think she's had enough?

C9Y: I guess.

(they untie her) 

TCL: NOW GIVE ME THE COOKIES! Come on, hand 'em over! (grabs cookies away and devours them hungrily)

(C9Y, SILAK, and LC2 sigh)

TCL: aaahhh… cookies… ^_^

~MEANWHILE~

(Scene: the Elite Four/Champion's special lounge thingie)

Lance: (in an attempt to become better friends with the E4) Who's up for a game of cards?

Will: (lying on the couch) Ughhh…

Koga: (walking like a zombie over to the refridgerator) Ughhh…

Bruno: (staring at the TV without blinking) Ughhh…

Karen: (leaning on kitchen counter) (snoring)

Lance: I'll that as a no… -_-;;

(Lance pushes Bruno out of the way)

Lance: Bruno, please change the channel. What're you watching, anyway? (looks at TV) Eeeee! CHANGE THE CHANNEL, FOR GOD'S SAKES!!! (changes channel)

Will: Ugh… Sooo… What happened?

Lance: (staring at TV nonbelievingly) Do you know what BRUNO WAS WATCHING?

Will: (suddenly very awake) What? What?

Lance: Nick Jr.! 

Will: O_O (faints)

Lance: Ko-ga? 

Koga: (pulling out some bread from the fridge) Hmmm?

Lance: Do you wanna play cards?

Koga: Actually *blink* I was thinking, since Karen's asleep and all, and Will just fainted (points) There's no one to stop us from doing weird things…

Lance: Like what?

Koga: Like maybe turning up the radio at full blast, watching stuff on TV that they don't like *coughstuffweshouldn'tbewatchingcough*, and eating stuff that's not healthy. 

Lance: Cool! But… If we turn up the radio… What if they wake up?

Koga: Hmmm… I've got it! Let's tie them up in a closet in my gym! 

Lance: …Why your gym?

Koga: I installed special sound-absorbing pads around it, so it's VERY quiet in there!

Lance: Sure thing!

~After the two elites are re-located~

Lance: So Bruno, is everything ready?

Bruno: Yup! ^_^

(Lance, Koga, and Bruno are reclining on the couch, watching…bad…stuff on TV (violence and all that junk) and eating junk food, all the while with some rock group booming in the background)

Lance: Koga, pass the triple-chocolate ultra mega minty caramel deluxe sugar snacks.

Koga: (passes them)

Lance: Thank you. (eats them)

Koga: (reading label of the triple-chocolate sugar thingies) These candies contain an enormous amount of calories, and no more than 2 should be consumed each day.

(Lance and Koga stare at each other)

Lance: (popping five in his mouth) Labels are always wrong.

Koga: (swallowing seven) Yup! Who cares if we get fat?

(they continue their strange party-type thing)

A/N: 

(low voice) That was weird!

(medium voice) That was weird!

(high voice) That was weird!

(regular voice) That was weird.

Please note that I did not include Will and Karen in Koga, Bruno, and Lance's party-type thing simply because I imagine them to be the more "sensible" ones who don't do such naughty stuff! ^_^ You can disagree if you want, I'll put these earplugs in and wait for you to be finished. Bwahahaha!

Once again, I will include anyone who wants to be in it but first you must request! Teehee! 

Please ignore the stupidity of the song earlier on in the chapter. I was bored.


	13. Card Tournament of Mayhem

(Today, we see the Gym Leaders from both Kanto and Johto, the Elite Four, and Lance sitting around many tables and playing some random card game in which they have partners)

~EARLIER THAT DAY(Flashback)~

TCL: Okay, everyone! The partners have been determined! No one complain as to who they get! ^_^

Falkner and Erika

Bugsy and Janine

Whitney and Pryce (Muahahahahahahaha!)

Morty and Jasmine

Chuck and Blaine

Clair and Lance (Lance: o_0)

Will and Sabrina 

Koga and Bruno

Karen and Misty

Brock and Lt. Surge

TCL: Unfortunately, Blue was unable to make it today, but that's good because now we have an even number! ^_^

(No one responds)

TCL: You're all so rude!

Sabrina: (shouting) I'M THE BETTER PSYCHIC!

Will: (shouting also) No, me!

Sabrina: ME!

Will: ME!

Sabrina: ME!!!

Will: ME!!!

TCL: Ahem…

Sabrina: ME!!!!!!!!

Will: ME!!!!!!!!

TCL: (losing her patience) Will, Sabrina, please stop argui-

Sabrina: ME AND THAT'S FINAL!!!!!

TCL: SHUT UPPPPPPP!!!!!!! (does Crimson Aeroblast on the two Psychics)

Will and Sabrina: X_X

TCL: Thank-a-you. I think we need to switch partners here… Will, you go with (drags him over to Lance) Lance, and Sabrina (sticks her with Clair) There ya go! Now, let's all be friends!

Will: X_X

Sabrina: X_X Ugh… (does Recover) All right, now wha- (sees Clair) Oh good. 

Clair: o_0

Lance: Ummm… Will? (poke poke)

Will: X_X

Lance: Eh, we could use a little help here…

(TCL hands Lance an alarm clock)

Lance: (turns on alarm clock) RISE AND SHINE!!!!!!

Will: X_X

Lance: Errrrgg… (lightbulb appears above head) Karen!

Karen: What?

Lance: Lemme borrow your Houndoom for a sec. (gets an evil grin) 

Karen: W-why? What are you going to do with it? 0_o

Lance: You'll see… (laughs evilly)

Karen: Umm… No thanks.

Lance: Why not?

Karen: Just, no.

Lance: Why?

Karen: You sound a bit evil…

Lance: No I'm not!

Karen: Yes you are!

Lance: No I'm not!

TCL: Karen, Lance, don't make me mad…

Karen: YES YOU ARE!

Lance: NO I'M NOT!

Karen: YES YOU ARE!!!

Lance: NO I'M NOT!!!!

TCL: UGH! SHUT UP!!!!!!!! (does Crimson Aeroblast)

Karen: X_X

Lance: X_X

Will: X_X

Everyone else: NOW HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO PLAY? WE HAVE AN ODD NUMBER!

TCL: Umm…. Well, they were annoying and all… FINE! OH FINE! (using the powers of fanfiction restoration, Karen is revived! Wowie!)

TCL: Okay then! Karen, you play with… Errr… (thinks) This is hurting my poor brain. Oh yeah! Misty!

Misty: Come on, Karen! ^_^

Karen: Yay! ^_^

TCL: …What do we do with the carcasses of Lance and Will?

Everyone but TCL: Stick 'em somewhere where we can't see them.

TCL: okies. (picks them up and throws them over the Great Wall Of China) Is that better?

Everyone but TCL: Yeah.

TCL: Good.

~MEANWHILE, SOMEWHERE IN CHINA~

Will: Ugh… Lance? O_O LANCE!

Lance: What?

Will: Where are we…?

Lance: ….

Will: What?

Lance: Look behind you.

Will: (looks behind him to see a bunch of Chinese fat dudes in sumo wrestling diaper-type things munching on noodles with chopsticks and staring at Will and Lance)

Will and Lance: …………….EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! (they run away at sheer fright, mostly because of the sumo wrestling diapers. Well, I call them diapers 8-D)

Lance: That was FREAKY.

Will: I'm SO getting out of here. (vanishes)

Lance: HEY! WILL! Please get back here! I wanna go home! 

(Will appears)

Will: Ooops, sorry ^_^;; I forgot… *coughnotcough*

(they both vanish)

~MEANWHILE~

TCL: Okay! The card tournament is beginning right… 

(Will and Lance appear)

TCL: ….Now…??? Wha?

Lance: Don't ask. (rubs head) Ow.

(Will and Lance take their seats)

TCL: Like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, the card tournament shall begin NOW! Everyone go!

~SOME TIME LATER~

TCL: And this time's victors are… Morty and Jasmine!

Morty: (bows)

Jasmine: (blushes and waves)

C9Y: (was watching) OH YEAH! GO MORTY! ^_^ (hearts appear around her) Oh, and you too JASMINE! WHOOOO-IE! 

TCL: Errrr… okay… Second place went to Karen and Misty! YAY!

Misty: Hey, TCL, d'ja know that I'm an author too? ^_^

TCL: Ya…are…?

Misty: Yup! Shadow-I LUV Ash Ketchum! Just don't tell anyone! Please!

(TCL points to the camera, speechless)

Misty: MEEEP! (sees camera) That is big problem! 

TCL: I have the solution! (does some psychic thingie, wiping out memories of all that knew except herself, of course)

Misty: Thankies!

TCL: Anytime, Mist.

Misty: Only Ash is allowed to call me that!

TCL: (gives Misty a skeptical look) Listen, I called you "Mist" because I am a lazy bum and was therefore too lazy to type out the letter "y" 

Misty: I doubt it. And because of you calling me that, you ended up having to type this many extra sentences, I mean look!

TCL: …You've got a point…

Misty: Don't I always?

TCL: …Anyway… What's next?

Karen: (tapping her foot on the ground impatiently)

TCL: Oh, okay. Now that our annual card ceremony is over, let us leave! (flies off)

PyroVulpix: What a minor part -_- Well, I'm tired of watching lame card games, so I'm going to go sleep in a volcano somewhere or buy some more cheese nips. (struts out, yawning)

C9Y: HEY MORTY!

Morty: Yuh?

C9Y: (has little hearts floating around her head)

Morty: Me and my fan are leaving! Buh-bye, everyone! ^_^

All: Bye Morty.

C9Y: Come on! (drags Morty out by the arm)

Lccorp2: (sitting in the audience still) Soooo… I'm the only author here now… (Gets an evil grin) 

All: (run away)

Lccorp2: Dang. Now there's nothing to do… (turns into an Umbreon) (makes it nighttime) Oh, yes… Nothing like the night… (runs out into the darkness)


	14. The Trial of Ash Ketchum

(Next day! Wheeeee!)

Lance: Hey guys, what are you watching?

Koga: (snickering) Some dude called Ash Ketchup on TV. 

Will: (grinning sneakily) Don't you know anything, Koga? You got his name wrong.

Koga: (similar grin) I did?

Will: Yeah. It's Bash Ketchup!

(Will and Koga high-five each other)

Lance: Ugh… Ash Ketchum, right?

Bruno: He's not so bad…

Koga: He's a dweeb!

Will: Ditto.

Bruno: I disagree!

Will and Koga: Oh YEAH?

(and thus The Trial Of Ash Ketchum began! Muahahahahahaha.)

~SOME TIME LATER~

Bruno: (dressed in judge robes, and carrying a mallet. He is sitting in the judge stand) Hello, people of the jury. We are here today to (points to Ash, who is in the defendant's spot) Sort out who Ash Ketchum REALLY is!

(murmured comments from the jury, who just happen to be the authors and Gym Leaders)

Bruno: And welcome our accusers… Will and Koga! 

Koga: HIIIIIII EVERYBODYYYYY!!!!!! (waves extremely enthusiastically to the audience)

Will: Yo.

Bruno: Eh-heh… Anyway, Ash Ketchum's lawyer is Karen!

Karen: (comes out, grinning at everyone, and waving) Hiya!

Bruno: And our punisher-guy person, Lance!

Lance: (points to his Dragonites, which are savagely ripping up human skeletons in the dungeons) That is the torturing room!

Ash: I must be dreaming. (blinks) Waaaa! I'm scared!

Koga: Shut thy mouth, foolish inferior one!

Ash: (immediately shuts up)

Bruno: Anyway, to begin the trial, let's have some opinions. I call Corrector9Yui to the witness stand or whatever its called!

(Corrector9Yui glares at Bruno menacingly, does the same with Koga, then sits at the witness thing)

Corrector9Yui: (stands up) (clears throat) (opens mouth wide) No comment. (sits back down)

Bruno: Errr… Thank you, Yui… You may return to your seat.

(Corrector9Yui runs back to her stand)

Bruno: Next… I call up Lccorp2!

Lccorp2: (laughs evilly, and runs down to the witness stand)

Bruno: So, Lccorp2, what are your opinions on Ash Ketchum?

Lccorp2: He's a L-O-O-S-E-R! He's stupid, stupid, stupid, but that's not all because he's also stupid, and he's stupid, and stupid, and-

Bruno: Errr… Any other comments?

Lccorp2: Yeah. He's stupid.

Bruno: So… You think he should be punished?

Lccorp2: On a scale of one to ten? Ten billion. 

Bruno: Err… Thank you… Return to your seat.

(Lccorp2 returns to his seat, cackling evilly)

Bruno: Next, one of TCL's friends from the SSBM section, M2 the Mewtwo Guru!

All: Huh?

(M2 walks up behind the stand)

Bruno: So, M2, what are your opi-

M2: Ash is stupid. I hate him. He tried to PUNCH a superclone Pokemon! How dense can you be? By the way, is Mewtwo here?

Will: Aye, no.

M2: Dangit.

Bruno: Thank you, M-

M2: I'm not done yet!

Bruno: Return to your seat.

M2: But-

Bruno: NOW!

M2: Grrrr! (sends a Shadow Ball at him)

Bruno: eeee! (hides under his stand)

M2: (floats off, muttering)

Bruno: oookaayy… Next is Shadow-I LUV Ash Ketchum! Hmmm… I think I know who she's siding with.

(Someone who looks strangely like Misty comes from the audience, waving, then stands behind her stand)

Bruno: So what are you-

Shadow-ILAK: I love 'im! Don't you dare hurt him, you meanie-heads! I LOVE ASH! I LOVE ASH! Don't you DO ANYTHING to him or I'll-

(an hour later)

Shadow-ILAK: Did I mention I LOVE ASH?

Bruno: Yes. Fifty-two thousand four hundred and ninety two times.

Will: No, Bruno!

Bruno: Eh?

Will: (smartly) It was fifty-two thousand four hundred and ninety _three_ times.

Bruno: UGH! THY BRAIN IS ACHING! (rubs temples)

Will: Hehe.

Bruno: Back to the trial. Now we have the last author, TCL!

TCL: (walks to stage) (takes place behind stand) Thank yo very much..

Bruno: Well, TCL, what do you-

TCL: I take neither side. Half of my friends hate Ash's guts, and the other half could love him to pieces. Wanting to disappoint neither side, I take no opinions. Thank you and good day. By the way, does anyone have any cookies?

Bruno: (tosses her a cookie)

TCL: Thanks. (eats it) (stares) (glances up slowly at Bruno) Bruno… just… (is puzzled)

Bruno: Hmm?

TCL: Bruno, I'm supposed to hate you, and you're supposed to return the favor. But thanks for the cookie. I want another one.

Bruno: Argh.

Will: (annoyed) TCL, why don't you just go away now?

TCL: How rude! And you're my favorite character, too! (glares) Besides Karen, of course…

Will: (pouting) But it's not fair! You bash me more than Karen!

TCL: I bash everyone. Unintentionally of course, but it's just the way my brain works.

Will: (still pouting)

TCL: Ergg… Fine. 

(An iron weight falls on Karen)

TCL: happy now?

Will: …..

TCL: Well?

Will: …..

TCL: Will? (waves a hand/wing in front of his face)

Will: Uh… You didn't have to do THAT…

TCL: eh?

Will: …Never mind.

TCL: Weird… Anyway, what is the jury's opinions? Quickly now!

Bruno: Hey! TCL, I'm running the shooowww! (pouts)

TCL: Stop that. (grabs judge's mallet out of his hand and bashes him with it) 

(Jury writes down their opinions)

Falkner: Spare Ash. Me no like violence. (nods)

Bugsy: Ditto.

Whitney: Ash? Hmmm… Let 'im live.

Morty: Same thing.

Jasmine: I don't like violence, so…

Chuck: KILL HIM!!!! Eheheheheh…

Pryce: (chanting) DIE ASH DIE! DIE ASH DIE! DIE ASH DIE!

Clair: Errr… Yeah. Die.

Brock: NO! NOT ASH!!!!

Misty: (who looks strangely like S-ILAK) DON'T HURT ASH!

Lt. Surge: KILL THE WHIMP AND HIS BABY POKEMON! 

Pikachu: Pika pi pi! ka chu chu! {I'm no baby! That's Pichu!}(zaps Lt. Surge)

Lt. Surge: That felt GOOD!

Pikachu: (sulks)

Erika: He's the guy who hated perfume? Oh, he should go… oh how he should go…

Janine: Spare him. No, kill him. No spare him. No, kill him. No… opinion. No opinion, yeah.

Sabrina: He gave me the Haunter… But kill him anyway. I'm EEEE-VIL.

Blaine: Yeah! DIE!

Blue: MY RIVAL IS RED! RED LOOKS LIKE ASH! SO KILL ASH!

(after all opinions are said)

Bruno: Since the author is too lazy to count the votes, we'll just have Ash live, to appease certain Ash-loving authors…

Ash: (running off trial) (has tears in his eyes) I live to see the daylight…! (dances)

TCL: (to Sonicrazy91) Hey, yo.

Sonicrazy91: Eh?

TCL: You is a Celebi, right? A BLUE Celebi. Your full name is Sonicrazy91 the Blue Celebi, right? 

Sonicrazy91: Yeah…

TCL: Well, forward time. To the next chapter!

Sonicrazy91: Um… Ok. 

(Sonicrazy forwards time. Zzziiing! Other sound FX! Too lazy to write me own!)

__

~ZZIIIIIIIIIIIINGGGGGGGGG…~ 

A/N: That… was… weird… and a bit brutal, I guess. It didn't have much Lance, and I apologize, he just didn't get a major role. ^_^


	15. Chuck and the Chocolate Factory

Disclaimer: Naw, still don't own it. Rats. I'm doing this so I can disclaim the references to Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. I already disclaimed Pokemon in all my other fics. I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING!!!!!!! 

(It all started with an innocent sleepover…)

Karen: Hey Clair, pass the popcorn.

Clair: Gladly. (passes)

Karen: Thanks.

Clair: Hey, girls?

Erika: Yeah?

Clair: Wanna watch "The Houndoom Of The Baskervilles" again?

Karen: Nah. I've seen it ten billion times already. 

Clair: How about, "When Caterpies attack"?

Whitney: (shakes her head) Lame.

Clair: How about "The Ghost of a Fallen Onix"?

Erika: That's the scariest movie I've ever seen! 

Clair: I take that as a no…?

Erika: Let's just go to bed.

Karen: ok.

Whitney: Yup.

~SOME TIME LATER~

Whitney: What do we do now? 

Karen: I don't know…

Clair: I know!

Karen, Whitney, and Erika: What? What?

Clair: Let's tell ghost stories!

Karen: Errr…

Whitney: I don't feel like it…

Erika: We CAN tell normal stories though…

Whitney: …

Karen: I guess.

Clair: OH! I KNOW ONE!

Karen: (sighs) Go ahead, Clair.

Clair: Once upon a time there was a boy named Chuck…

(screen changes to a scene with the Gym Leader, Chuck, shivering under the covers, apparently in a very poor house. Although we can no longer see Karen, Clair, Whitney, or Erika, we can hear their voices.)

Clair: Chuck was very, very poor. His parents could barely afford anything.

Karen: My turn! Chuck loved chocolate VERRY much. He got a bar of chocolate for his birthday. Richer kids could afford a bar like that every day, but Chuck could never afford one, how he even got a bar of chocolate is unknown to everyone…

Erika: …Except his grandfather, who was saving a ten cent coin and bought the chocolate bar with it. Chuck savored the chocolate like a treasure, and nibbled a bit of it each night.

(we see Chuck taking out a bar of chocolate, half-eaten, and nibble on the side, before putting it back)

Whitney: Okay! Meanwhile there was this guy named… Will Wonka.

(The scene changes to Will dressed in Willie Wonka's clothes, looking very annoyed)

Will: This stuff itches! 

Clair: Will Wonka was an expert chocolate manufacturer, a multi-millionaire, and made many many things out of chocolate and candy.

Will: Chocolate? Candy? WHERE!?!?

Karen: Anyway, so then Will Wonka made this competition, where any five kids or people who got a golden wrapper in their chocolate bar could come to his factory and get a life's supply of chocolate and candy!

Will: (grabbing five golden wrappers and slapping them on random chocolate bars) This is hurting my rep.

Erika: One day, Chuck (scene switches to Chuck, on his school playground) was walking along the playground, very bored.

Chuck: (stating the obvious) I am very bored.

Whitney: So Chuck was looking at the ground, since he was bored. And hungry. And tired. And poor. And bored.

Chuck: Get to the point already! My eyes hurt…

Clair: Then Chuck saw *gasp* a dollar bill on the ground!!!

(Chuck picks up the dollar)

Chuck: (looks around)

Karen: Because Chuck was a nice boy *coughnotcough*, he looked both ways and tried to find the owner of the dollar. But no one seemed to notice that a dollar had fallen into his path.

Chuck: OH YAY-NESS! THIS MUST BE MY LUCKY DAY! ^_^

Erika: Chuck walked to the chocolate stand. There was this ugly fat guy behind the counter.

Ugly Fat Guy Behind The Counter: What can I get for ya, kid?

Chuck: I'd like two bars of chocolate. (eyes become hearts)

Ugly Fat Guy Behind The Counter: here. (hands him two chocolate bars from *gasp* Will Wonka's chocolate factory! Wheeeeee!)

Chuck: (unwraps the first one, then stuffs the chocolate bar in his mouth)

Whitney: Chuck found a normal chocolate bar, but he didn't care. He loved it.

Clair: Then Chuck unwrapped the next one…

(Chuck unwraps the second chocolate bar)

Karen: And it had a GOLDEN WRAPPER! Wow-ee!

Chuck: o_0 (faints)

Erika: And then-

Clair: (interrupting Erika) Chuck was so startled his blood pressure stopped and he froze in the snow (it was winter) The End!

Karen: *blink*

Erika: *blink*

Whitney: *blink*

Karen: Clair… Let Erika go.

Clair: Dang.

Erika: Like I was saying, and then Chuck ran all the way back to his house. He was very happy.

Chuck: I'm very happy!

Whitney: (notices the character's comment for the first time) Stop stating the obvious! (thwaps him with her pillow)

Chuck: X_X

Clair: Anyway, Chuck told his grandfather, mother, and father about the golden wrapper. They were very happy too.

Chuck's parents and grandfather: We're very happy too!

Karen: So then Chuck went to Will Wonka's chocolate factory!

(Chuck packs his things, waves, then continues eating the chocolate bar that had the golden wrapper)

(scene changes. Chuck is at Will Wonka's chocolate factory! Wheeee!)

Will: Hello, Chuck. The other children are here. (points to children that look strangely like Lance, Koga, and Bruno in younger forms, and… Ash…)

Ash: Hullo, Chuck!

Lance: Hi, Chuck.

Koga: Hello!

Bruno: Bonjour!

Chuck: (too stupid to know what bonjour means) You smell like a skunk too.

Bruno: (puzzled)

Will: …Uh… Anyway, come with me, and I will show you my chocolate factory! 

Erika: But what they didn't know is that Will Wonka was really an evil genius attempting to take over the entire world!

(Will cackles evilly)

Will: With my hypnotizing chocolate I shall take over the world! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Lance, Chuck, Bruno, Koga, and Ash grab chocolate, and stuff it in their mouths. Immediately they become mindless slaves to Will)

Will: OH YEAH! 

Whitney: Unfortunately, Lance, Chuck, Bruno, Koga, and Ash were just children, so they didn't have much potential as Will's troops.

Will: BLAST IT! Oh well… I'll just give my hypnotizing chocolate to everyone else in the world! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Clair: Will beamed up a hypnotic ray into a space station, causing everyone on the globe to become his willing servant!

Will: (does just that) mUaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa! I sHaLl TaKe OvEr ThE wOrLd! 

Karen: He then spent the rest of his life eating chocolate and ordering everyone around. The End! ^_^

(scene changes to Clair's bedroom again, where the girls are having their sleepover)

Clair: That was freaky.

Whitney: Come on, let's go to bed.

(They lie down in their sleeping bags)

A/N: I got this idea at school. Kweee! 


	16. Always Check the Bag

(while the girls were having their sleepover, the boys were asleep in their quarters in the Indigo Plateau, where they were SUPPOSED to be. Well… They weren't ALL really asleep…)

Lance: (bursts into Bruno's door, panting, eyes wide) Bruno! Bruno! COME QUICK! It's an emergency!

Bruno: Who what when where why? THE ANSWER IS ELEVEN POINT FIFTY FIVE!

Lance: Wake UP, Bruno! 

Bruno: Oh, hey Lance.

Lance: Bruno! HURRY! I NEED HELP HERE!

Bruno: What? Is your Dragonite choking?

Lance: No…

Bruno: Did one of your servants get a paper cut?

Lance: o_0 No…

Bruno: Are you a rabid three-legged monkey who foams at the mouth and flies north to Europe every other summer?

Lance: …….No……. O_O

Bruno: Then, what is it?

Lance: you'll see! COME QUICK! (grabs Bruno by the arm and drags him to Koga's gym)

Bruno: Where are we going?

(Lance opens the door to reveal Koga.)

Bruno: *blink*

Koga: *blink*

Bruno: *blink*

Koga: *blink*

(Long, *blink*y silence)

Lance: Well, Bruno, stop him!

Bruno: What's he doing???

Lance: What's he doing??? What do you mean? HE'S EATING MILANOS!

Bruno: Milano cookies? …..So?

Lance: He won't stop eating them! Sooner or later he is going to explode! I mean, look! He's huge!

Bruno: (takes a second glance. He notices Koga is twice his original height) Does this mean Milanos have special growth-giving abilities?

Lance: Dunno, but stop him before he destroys the Indigo Plateau with his large-ness!

Bruno: Ok! Koga, STOP EATING MILANOS!

Koga: (ignores them and continues eating Milanos)

Lance: Koga, STOP!

Koga: (ignores them and continues eating Milanos)

Bruno: argh! Now we're getting serious! (strangles Koga, who brushes him off, being huge and powerful. Koga is now three-times his original size)

Lance: He's growing rapidly! We have to stop him! (runs into Will's room) WILL!

Will: (groggily) What?

Lance: Koga's growing! He's eating Milanos! Teleport him somewhere!

Will: (half-asleep) Like where?

Lance: I don't know! Outside would be nice!

Will: No… I did my homework… What? Oh no, NOT THE BRINE SHRIMP!

Lance: Uhh… Will? Are you fully awake?

Will: Yes. (stumbles into a wall) Look where you're going, Jason!

Lance: If you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself. (takes a pail of water and dumps it over Will)

Will: (sopping wet a fully awake) WHAT!?!?!?!?

Lance: Teleport Koga somewhere!

Will: …Why?

Lance: He's growing!

Will: ….uh….. ok. (teleports Koga outside) 

Lance: (runs outside. Koga is now the size of a jumbo jet) OH NO! BRUNOOOOOO!

Bruno: What?

Lance: Look!

Bruno: Oh my…

(They watch, helplessly. Within an hour, Koga grows over the size of Delaware!)

Lance: Oh no! If he grows even one more inch, we're dead! (they are squished against the last inch of space in northern Kanto. Koga's enormous bulk is about to crush them! How gross)

Lance: Nooooooo…

Koga: (frowns) (turns his bag of Milanos upside-down) OH DARN! I'm out of Milanos! ;_; (he begins to shrink)

(Lance and Bruno faint)

(before even five minutes, Koga is back to his normal size)

Koga: Hi all! Lance? Bruno? What are you doing?

Lance: What were YOU doing? Koga, don't eat too many Milanos!

Koga: But…

Lance: (death-glares Koga)

Koga: Oh, ok.

Lance: Next time, check the bag first. (he picks up the empty bag of milanos and reads the labels) Growing Milanos. Consume at your own risk. Only one at max should be eaten each day. However, it seems to be addictive and once you eat even one bite it becomes impossible to stop until the bag is empty. Price… Eh… $132!!!!!

Koga: (sweatdrops)

Lance: Koga, don't EVER, EVER do that again…

Koga: (nods)

~SOME TIME LATER~

Karen: (walking around in store) Yup, that was a cool sleepover. Let's see… Goldfish… Ah! Check! (grabs bag of goldfish and crosses "Goldfish" off her list) Now let's see… Milanos! (wonders about) Ah! Here they are! ^_^ (grabs bag of Milanos and crosses "Milanos" off her list) Now, where were we…

~SOME TIME LATER~

Karen: (plopping grocery bag down on the floor of her gym) what a nice trip.(reaches for bag of goldfish, hesitates, and grabs Milanos instead) I need something good and filling…

(Karen sits there, grabs a Milano out of the bag, and moves it toward her open mouth. Everything moves in slow motion, and suspenseful music plays in the background)

(suddenly Lance, Bruno, and Will burst into her gym, also running in slow motion)

Lance: Donnn'ttt eeaaat thaaaaaaaattttt!

Karen: (eats the Milano) (looks alarmed) sorry, what did you say? (eats another Milano)

Lance: (to sky) AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Will: We're dead… (teleports Karen outside)

~OUTSIDE~

Karen: Huh? What am I doing out here?

~INSIDE~

Bruno: Come on, I suppose we better try and steal her bag of Milanos so she doesn't get too big.

Will and Lance: Agreed.

(They walk outside, but strangely, Karen is nowhere in sight! Strange…)

Lance: Karen?

Will: Oh Kar-en!

Bruno: Karen!?! Hullo!?!?

(they search everywhere, but find nothing)

Lance: Hmmm… We searched everywhere!

Will: (looks down at the ground) (stares) (blinks) 

Lance: What?

Will: (picks up a blade of grass) LOOK AT THIS!!! O_O

Lance: (looks crazily at Will) What on Earth? A blade of grass!?!

Will: Look at it CLOSELY! O_O

Lance: (does this. To his complete shock, he sees the tiny form of Karen sitting on top of the grass, still eating Milanos and becoming smaller each second)

Will: If she gets too small, we won't be able to see her!

Bruno: I'll fix that! (takes out a bug-holding jar) Put her in here! Then she can't wonder off!

Lance: Nah, I don't think so… We just gotta hope she runs out of Milanos soon.

Will: But it took Koga over an hour to finish his! 

Lance: Hmmmm… You've got a point. So what do we do?

Bruno: Leave her here, and wait for her to stop shrinking/eating Milanos.

Lance and Will: Sounds good to us.

(they walk off)

~SOME TIME LATER~

Karen: (Sees an ENORMOUS six-legged Monster above her! It's the size of the empire state building! Eeee!) Woah. That is big.

Monster: Meep?

Karen: (reaches in bag of Milanos) Oh dang, I'm all out. (she suddenly starts growing back to her original size) 

(after she is done, she kneels down in the grass, and tries to find the monster) …It's an ant. (shrugs, and wonders off to find everyone else)

(AND THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER EAT TOO MANY MILANOS! BWAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAA! Of course, I'm not implying that you'll shrink/grow… I'm implying that you will get a tremendous stomach ache and have an unnatural fear of ants for the rest of your life. Shortly after the above passage took place, Karen and Koga had the worst stomach aches in history.)


	17. Silly Karen, you're not a Psychic

~SOMEWHERE IN SABRINA'S ROOM~

Sabrina: I'm the better Psychic here!

Mewtwo: No, I! Foolish human, I am the most powerful being of psi powers OF ALL TIME! SO THERE!

Sabrina: Prove it!

Mewtwo: I don't have to, for I AM MEWTWO!

Sabrina: You're so full of yourself, YOU…YOU… FLUFFY KITTY!

Mewtwo: (gasp) HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A FLUFFY KITTY! NOW YOU SHALL PAY!

Sabrina: Ha-ha. You make me laugh.

Mewtwo: We shall see who gets the last laugh, human!

Sabrina: I promised Karen I'd show her some Psi abilities. She's coming over later. Our argument has lasted long enough.

Mewtwo: Sure has. (disappears)

Sabrina: I sure took care of that fluffy kitty… (grins evilly)

Mewtwo: (teleports back in) I AM NOT A FLUFFY KITTY!

Sabrina: YES YOU ARE! MAYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! (turns Mewtwo into a doll)

Mewtwo: Wha- (looks at self to find that he is veddy fluffy…) AAAAARRGGH! FOOLISH HUMAN, YOU SHALL PAY!

Sabrina: (snickers) _Riiiiight._

(There is a knock on the door) 

Sabrina: oh, that must be Karen.. (opens the door)

(Karen enters)

Karen: Hey, Sab! ^_^

Sabrina: Hey, Karrie. 

(they high-five each other)

Sabrina: say, why didn't you get Will to teach you instead? 

Karen: I prefer someone my own gender. I work better that way.

Sabrina: Ah. So do I. ^_^

Karen: so, Sabrina, first I wanna learn how to Telepor-

Sabrina: Hold on a sec. (slaps self upside the head) I FORGOT! Oh, DANG! I have to go do some work stuff for the league! 

Karen: I finished all my work a month ago…

Sabrina: Yes, because you're organized. I am not. Wait here for a while, I'll be right back. (vanishes)

Karen: Well, that was interesting… I wonder what's around in Sabrina's house… (explores. She finds a few spider web covered headless barbies which looked like they had been through serious torture years ago, a fridge filled with ham and cheese sandwhiches [Don't ask], but otherwise nothing of interest… Or at least so she thinks…)

Karen: (notices something) Oh, what a cute doll! ^_^ (picks up the "doll")

Mewtwo: (tiny, squeaky voice) foolish human, release me at once!

Karen: (cannot hear Mewtwo's tiny, nearly mute voice) You're just soooo kawaaiiiiiiii! 

Mewtwo: This is almost as bad as what M2 does to me… -_-;; infidel, put me DOWN!

Karen: (still cannot hear Mewtwo) Just what are you, anyway…? (looks closer)

Mewtwo: I am Mewtwo, future ruler of the planet! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! How dare you not know as to who I am!

Karen: Oh, I KNOW! You're a MEW! ^_^

Mewtwo: (calmly) Calling me cute was bad. Calling me "soooo kawaiiiiii" was a little worse. Wondering what I am is inexcusable… (freaks out) BUT CALLING ME A MEW???? THAT IS JUST SO WRONG, MAN! (screams)

Karen: (finally hears a bit of Mewtwo's squeaking) Huh? What was that? …Oh well… Perhaps it was a fly. (sets Mewtwo back down)

Mewtwo: 8-(

Karen: I didn't know Sabrina was into dolls! Hmm… That just seems… wrong.

(Sabrina appears)

Karen: Oh, hi Sabrina! I found this adorable Mew doll you have, and-

Sabrina: That's Mewtwo.

Karen: …Oh.

Mewtwo: (grumble grumble)

Sabrina: (turns Mewtwo back into… well… Mewtwo)

Mewtwo: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (glares at Karen) When I destroy the planet, you shall be the first to go! Feel my wrath, human! Bwahahahahahahahaha! (teleports back to somewhere)

Karen: *blink*

Sabrina: *blink*

Karen: (shaken up) On second thought, perhaps I should get Will to teach me instead… 

Sabrina: Oh come on, I don't bite!

Karen: (runs out of Sabrina's house)

Sabrina: Was it something I said? 

~MEANWHILE, WELL OKAY MAYBE NOT MEANWHILE BUT A FEW HOURS LATER~

Will: NO, NO, YOU HAVE GOT IT ALL WRONG!

Karen: What???

Will: Ugh… That was the worst Teleport I've ever seen!

Karen: That's probably due to the fact that it was not a teleport.

Will: Exactly!

Karen: Well, I'm still learning here! How long did it take YOU?

Will: I was able to access my powers instantly. 

Karen: …Oh.

Will: The best thing you've done all this time is give me a headache! (groans)

Karen: This is just not my day.

Will: When is it ever? 

Karen: You aren't helping.

Will: Neither are you!

Karen: So what?

Will: You started it!

Karen: You're supposed to be teaching me here, Psyboy!

Will: Who says, Darkhead?

Karen: Why you-

(they get into a fight)

~SOME TIME LATER~

Karen: (nursing her arm) This is going to be harder than I thought… (hears Will and Lance talking in the other room)

~THE OTHER ROOM~

Lance: You got beat up by a GIRL?????

Will: (that whiny voice that we're all familiar with. I whine all the time ^_^)What was I supposed to do???

Lance: Beat HER up! 

Will: The author would hurt me!!!

Lance: Even if you didn't win she'd still hurt you!

Will: Yeah, so-

Lance: Take my advice and don't offer free psychic learning lessons to people anymore.

Will: (grumbles)

~THE ROOM KAREN IS IN~

Karen: (snickers) Hehehe… I love driving people insane. (wonders off) I NEED TO LEARN THESE ABILITIES! Let's see… (snaps her fingers) OH YEAH! How about that Mewtwo guy Sabrina was talking to (sweatdrops) earlier? He's Psychic! (very happy) (runs to the Unknown Dungeon)

~THE UNKNOWN DUNGEON~

Karen: Please?

Mewtwo: No. Pathetic human.

Karen: Pleeeeaaaaseee? (big puppy dog eyes)

Mewtwo: Ugh. NO!

Karen: Rats. 

Mewtwo: Now go away.

Karen: NO! 

Mewtwo: I SAID GO AWAY!

Karen: Who CAN teach me Psi abilities, then?

Mewtwo: GO AWAY!!!!! (sends a Shadow Ball at her)

Karen: OWWWCCCHIIEEEE! OH MAN, THAT HURTIES!!! (runs out of Unknown Dungeon)

Mewtwo: he, he, he. That was actually mildly entertaining. What're YOU looking at? (beats the crap out of a nearby Magikarp out of pure boredom)

~OUTSIDE~

Karen: Poor me. In one day, all the beatings… I don't deserve this.

(some Psychic dude walks by. Karen can tell he's psychic because a Pokeball is somehow floating in front of him)

Karen: HEY! PSYGUY!

Psychic Dude: Yuh?

Karen: Can you teach me Psychic abilities?

Psychic dude: (closes eyes, concentrates, and opens eyes) You don't seem to have been born with those powers. Therefore you can't learn them. Sorry! (walks off)

Karen: *blink* *blink* *blink* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! I got freaked out, beaten up, and hit by a Shadow Ball for NOTHING! This is abuse! (storms away) I need to hurt something…

A/N: I was idea-less. Don't hurt me if that was weird. And please don't mind the slight Karen-bashing… It was unavoidable. Well okay, maybe not, but I need a decent excuse.


	18. Jingle Bells, Bruno Smells

A/N: This chapter is disturbing. Not much, but more than usual. Be warned…

(It is a very lazy day, and the elite four have nothing to do. So we see them lying around, blinking at the ceiling and occasionally saying "hey there" to each other for no apparent reason)

Koga: blah… (sits upright in his chair) Come on, who wants to do somethin' FUN???

Will, Bruno, Karen, and Lance: (unenthusiastic, flat responses)

Koga: (groan) Come on guys…

Lance: (humming the entire 2BA Master CD)

Bruno: (scratching his… places)

Will: (is asleep. Sleep-talking) I wanna sleep in… History class doesn't start for another fifteen minutes… 

Karen: (stares blankly at ceiling)

Lance: (stops humming and looks over at Will) What on Earth is he talking about?

All but Will and Lance: (mixed phrases of "I don't know")

Will: (still asleep) (points finger accusingly at the lamp) You stole my homework, Ross! Now give it back! 

All but Will: o_0 

Lance: (shakes Will) Oh Willllll-

Will: (snaps awake) EYAAAAAAAAAH! THE ANSWER IS NEGATIVE ELEVEN!

Lance: No Will…

Will: (looks both ways) (looks very relieved) Thank goodness… oh thank heaven… (pants) That was terrible…

Karen: what DO you dream about, anyway?

Will: (pant) Schooooool… (falls over)

Lance: But Will, you don't GO to school anymore, you're insert Will's age here (A/N: I don't know how old Will is. How would I?)

Will: (glare at Lance) I know that! But I still have nightmares about seventh grade… (shudder)

Koga: Why seventh grade?

Bruno: (still scratching) 

Will: Because… (thinks it over) I don't really want to talk about it…

Koga: Ah. 

Lance: Tell us!

Karen: Did you have a mean teacher?

Lance: (snicker) A girlfriend who dumped you?

Koga: Did you fail and be held back?

Will: (glare at them all) NO! I SAID I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!!!!

Lance: Sheesh.

Bruno: Oooh… oooh… (is still scratching)

Lance: (notices what and where Bruno is scratching for the first time) Eeew. Please stop that, Bruno!

Bruno: BUT IT ITCHES!!! 

Lance: Too bad!

Bruno: (scratches vigorously)

All but Bruno: STOP THAT!!!! (take chairs and smash them on his head)

Bruno: X_X 

Lance: Now that that's taken care of… (stares at Bruno blankly)

Bruno: (scratching in his unconsciousness)

Will: Lemme take care of this. (snaps his fingers, and Bruno vanishes)

Karen: Where'd ya send him?

Will: (casually) Oh, I sent him to… a place.

Karen: Where?

Will: Oh… just somewhere.

Lance: Ok.

~AT THIS SO CALLED PLACE~

Bruno: Owww… Hey, I don't itch anymore! (looks around. He is in…)

Bruno: (looks both ways, then clamps a hand over his mouth. We hear a muffled scream) 

(Bruno runs into the bathroom. He was teleported into the one place Bruno hates more than itching, well not really ONE place, but a type of place: A clothes store. A gap, to be exact.)

Bruno: GAAAH! NO! NOT… CLOTHES!!! (runs all the way back to the Indigo Plateau)

Lance: (puzzled) How did you get back here so fast?

Bruno: Will…sent…me…to…THE GAP! GAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! (cries)

Karen: (sigh) You know Bruno, you really NEED to go in a clothes store anyway… I mean look, you're wearing practically nothing.

Bruno: (points to his wierdo pants) I AM A FIGHTER PERSON! People who work out to build their muscles in gym like ME, or Chuck, need to WEAR NO SHIRTS!

Karen: (sniffs the air, then gags) Oh, SICK! Bruno, you need to take a shower.

Bruno: (cringe) Yes, I know that.

Lance: (sniffs) X_X Oh, disgusting! Bruno, you either take a shower NOW, or avoid being near us.

Bruno: NO! I hate showers! I'll just try to avoid you, so I won't annoy you with the… smell… (wanders off)

Will: (takes out an oxygen mask) Something tells me I'm gonna need this. 

Karen: Say, can we-

Will: (hands everyone else identical oxygen masks) Here. You're gonna need 'em too. 

All: (puts them on)

Bruno: (walks back in) oh, hi guys. (sees them wearing the oxygen masks) Uh… Hi guys. Nice… thingies. (walks out again) What a bunch of wierdos. It must be the latest style, or something. 

~SOME TIME LATER~

Lance: (suddenly turns pale and immediately snatches his oxygen mask off) gah! I ran out of air! 

Will: These things never run out of air… They're just broken, or something. (Takes out some thingamajig that measures the cleanliness of the air)

Thingamajig: (meter goes off the scale to indicate that the air is intoxicated with something very smelly)

Will: (takes another whiff of the air) Oh god. I think perhaps the stench was so bad that it actually somehow destroyed our oxygen masks…

Karen: (nearly faints from the smell) BRUNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Bruno: (hears Karen shouting his name) I think I'm in trouble…

(Lance barges in the room that Bruno is in)

Lance: Bru- uhhhh… (faints from the horrible stench)

Bruno: Lance? …Uh… Lance? (pokes him)

Lance: X_X

(Koga walks in, and the same thing happens to him.)

Will: (walks in) (faints immediately)

(now only Karen remains! Bwa!)

Karen: I'm not even going in there… Oh, I've got to. One… Two… three… (holds her breath) I'm going in! (barges in)

Bruno: hi Karen. What brings you here?

Karen: (death glaring Bruno) TAKE A SHOWER RIGHT NOW!

Bruno: Make me!

Karen: What, are you nuts? You're going to KILL someone if this keeps up!

Bruno: …

Karen: NOW! 

Bruno: NO!

Karen: I can see you need further convincing… (snaps her fingers) Oh, I have got just the thing! (gets an exceedingly evil grin) I have my secret weapon with me…

Bruno: What is it? Wait… It's not… THE secret weapon, is it?

Karen: 8-) (nods)

Bruno: Y-y-you wouldn't! No… Well… AAAAAAAHHH!!! (runs into his bathroom and slams the door)

Karen: Works every time! ^_^ (takes out an air purifier) 

(What is Karen's secret weapon??? To this day, no one knows.)

A/N: Was that disturbing, or what? I was bored… Yeah, you can probably see that much.


	19. Elementary, my Dear Will

~That night~

Will: Noooo…. Not… That…. (pants) (wakes up) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! (looks around) It was just another nightmare… (lies in bed, staring at the ceiling)

~FLASHBACK~

(scene: Will's 4th grade classroom. Duh, Will is about 20 years younger or so. He is talking with his best friend… umm… Vincent. Cuz I said so, that's why)

Will: So, when is our quiz?

Vincent: You mean our Math Quiz?

Will: Yup.

Vincent: It's today.

Will: Ah. (sits back in his chair. Suddenly his eyes get wide) Wha-? TODAY!?!?!

Vincent: Didn't you study?

Will: …No. Oh well, I'm Psychic, it doesn't really matter…

Teacher: Hello, class! First you're going to take your quiz on unit 12B. 

Will: Meh…

Vincent: (elbows him in the side)

Teacher: (hands out quizzes)

Will: (reads quiz) 

****

QUIZ 12B

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BEWARE OF US EVIL MUTANT KANGAROOS! WE WILL BEAM UP YOUR INFERIOR TECHNOLOGY AND TAKE OVER YOUR ENTIRE PLANET!

~General Robijke D. Kangouruu

Will: O.O;;

Vincent: Eh?

Will: (points to quiz)

Vincent: O.O;;

(suddenly large, furry mammals pop in the room. They are wearing astronaut outfits with hats shaped like the devil's horns [weird] and hopping about, grabbing the students and cramming them out the door)

Will: Yipes! It's the attack of the Kangaroos!

Kangaroo1: Mua! We shall take over da world! Watch as we capture your government! (stuffs kids out the door still)

Will: (thinking) They think our classroom is full of world leaders!??!? That's insane.

Kangaroo2: You mean these are only students?

Will: You can read minds?

Kangaroo1: Yes, foolish human. Come on, fellow kangaroos, we must hunt down the real human leaders and destroy this planet! 

Will: How stupid.

Kangaroo3: You're just jealous you didn't think of it sooner!

(all three Kangaroos stick their tongues out at Will)

Will: -_-;;

Vincent: This is insane!

Kangaroos 1, 2, and 3: Ta-ta. (they hop away)

Will: ….

Vincent: …

Everyone else: ….

Will: hey, can we have our REAL quiz now?

~END FLASHBACK~

Will: That was just so creepy… And then, of course, there was seventh grade… (shudders)

~FLASHBACK~

(scene: Will's seventh grade Math class. Duh, he's about 3 years older than he was in the fourth grade scene)

Will: Yess… They know that already.

(Shut up!)

Will: Make me!

(Grrrr! Okay, now on with it…)

Will: (dawdling)

(ON WITH IT I SAY! DO YOU WANT YOUR PAY CHECK OR NOT???)

Will: Meep.

(Please excuse the slight… err… interruption)

Will: It's the middle of the school year, and we haven't had one single test. This is too weird.

Vincent: (sitting next to him) Yah. (checks watch) Lunch is in fifteen minutes. God, I'm starving…

(an army of kangaroos burst into the classroom)

Everyone: …?

Will and Vincent: YIPES! IT'S THE EVIL MUTANT KANGAROOS THAT WANT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

Kangaroo1: Ah, humans, we meet again.

Vincent: Meep.

Kangaroo3: Something happened to our ship about three years ago and we were stranded on a planet you call "Pluto". However, our mothership, The Great Kangaroo, arrived here from the Z-zone and returned us to our mission to conquer your planet!

Kangaroo2: What he said.

Kangaroos 1, 2, and 3: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Will: And your point is…?

Kangaroos: SILENCE, PATHETIC HUMAN! NOW HAND OVER THE SACRED PENCIL!

Will: eh?

Kangaroos: That's right, the orange stick of wood in your hand! HAND IT OVER!

Will: My… pencil?

Kangaroos: YES! GIVE IT RIGHT NOW!

Will: Why do you need it?

Kangaroo1: That pencil contains our essence of life! If anything happens to it, we kangaroos will lose our mutant-ness and become ordinary kangaroos!

Kangaroo3: However, there is a terrible curse. Anyone who breaks the pencil will be forced to have nightmares about it for the rest of their miserable lives!

Kangaroo2: AAAAAAH! YOU IDIOTS! YOU JUST TOLD THE KID HOW TO GET RID OF US!

Kangaroos 1 and 3: (blink) we did?

Kangaroo2: AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!! (claws at head) I might as well go kill myself!

Kangaroos 1 and 3: Be our guest.

Kangaroo2: (jumps out the window)

Kangaroos 1 and 3: …..

Will: (takes the pencil and slowwwwwwwly begins to bend it in half…)

Kangaroos 1 and 3: (notice) GAAAAH! WAIT FOR US! (run after Kangaroo 2)

Will: (still bending pencil)

…

…

…

**__**

SNAP.

(a beam of light comes from the remnants of the pencil and surround the Kangaroos and Will)

Will: (after light clears) Ehe. That wasn't so bad.

Vincent: ………….Hooray! THE EVIL KANGAROOS ARE GONE!

All: THE EARTH IS SAVED! (parties)

Vincent: When's lunch? I'm hungry.

Lunch bell: BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGG…

~END FLASHBACK~

Will: (wipes bead of sweat off forehead) I still have nightmares about that… It's just not fair! How many people are forced to dream about evil kangaroos each night? (grumbles and falls asleep again)

A/N: Short, I know. I was out of ideas. ^_^;; If you haven't noticed from Chapters 16 and 17, I'm making 5 chapters staring the E4 and the champion. Lance is next. Kweeee! This is Will's chapter (duh). Koga's will be last. Hehehehe! If you don't get the chapter to the title, "Elementary" is meant like Elementary school, and everything else is self-explanitory. I made a joke out of the "Elementary, my dear Watson" Sherlock always says or something like that. I'm running out of ideas.


	20. Lance in France

(in the morning)

Koga: HOLY VENOMOTH!

Will: What?

Koga: (points to the screen on Neopets)

Will: (reading a random event) You have just found a whole den of Krawk petpets in the cliff. Hastily you pick them all up.

Koga: (faints)

Will: That's just… wrong. 

Koga: (wakes up) The chances of getting that random event are 1/933,398,392,503,302,406,102,399!!!!!!

Will: How on Earth did you remember that long number?

Koga: …No clue. Maybe cuz the fic said so.

Will: That would make sense.

Koga: (nods)

Will: Say, do you hear something?

Koga: It sounds like the others are it again.

Will and Koga: (listen)

~THE OTHER ROOM~

Lance: I wanna play Battleship! (holds up a game of battleship)

Karen: Well, **I** want to play Umbreon Battlezone! (points to a Nintendo game with Umbreons on the cartridge) (A/N: I just made that up… I needed something Karen would REALLY REALLY like)

Bruno: Well too bad, because we are GOING to play Hearts! (holds up a deck of cards) (notices Karen and Lance are giving him death glares) Meep.

Lance: BATTLESHIP!

Karen: NINTENDO!

Bruno: HEARTS! 

(all three get into a fight)

(Will and Koga enter)

Will: Can't we all just get along?

Koga: Guys?

(the dust cloud fades to show Karen twisting Bruno's leg around Lance's neck, Lance biting Bruno's arm, and Bruno punching Lance's back)

Will and Koga: O.O;; (they drag Karen, Lance, and Bruno to opposite sides of the room)

Koga: Behave!

Lance: make us!

Will: (eyes glow blue)

Lance: (begins to glow blue also) I…shall…obey…Master…Will…

Will: Muahahahahaha. He said, "make us", so that's just what I did.

Everyone but Will and Lance: o_o;;

Koga: A-anyway… what were you guys fighting about, anyway?

Karen: Which game we were going to play. Honestly, I don't care anymore…

(Will stops controlling Lance) 

Lance: Oi… (glares at Will)

Will: (glares back)

Koga: Okk… Anyway, let's do something now!

Bruno: Like what?

Koga: Well, I was thinking along the lines of going to (pulls out brochure) Silver Cave Resorts!

Will: Doesn't that sound kind of familiar…

Bruno: What do you mean?

Will: …Never mind…

(Within a few minutes, the elites are at SCR due to Will's teleporting. Since Will teleported them inside the utility, they don't need to pay the 50 buck fee as long as they aren't caught)

Koga: Goodie! What do we do now?

Lance: Hey guys, aren't those legendary Pokemon? (points)

Bruno: eh?

(they see Suicune, Raikou, and Entei walking around the place)

Will: Karen and I saw those guys when we were at that park in chapters 3 and 4. 

Lance: Oh, ok.

Bruno: come on, let's keep going.

(they come across a pool)

Koga: Oh goodie! A pool! ^_^ (he jumps in)

Bruno: KOGA! You still have your normal clothes on! (points)

Koga: So? I don't like my bathing suit! (swims around)

Will: ….That's just wrong.

Lance: Who cares? (lies down on a beach chair)

Bruno: (jumps into the kiddie pool) (talks to a wooden statue near the pool) Lookit me, mommy! I can swim!

(Will and Karen stare at each other)

Will: This is just too weird.

Karen: No kidding.

Lance: Why don't you two shut up and go in the pool or something?

Will: No way… (pulls up a chair and takes out a Game Boy)

Karen: What do **I** do? (pouts) I want to lie down in one of those beach chairs you can lie down in… (looks around) (pouts) Lance got the last one… (stops pouting and starts pondering)

Lance: (beginning to sweat) W-what?

Karen: (sweetly) Oh Laaaaance…

Lance: No.

Karen: Please?

Lance: MINE. (huggles his beach chair protectively)

Karen: (feels a tantrum coming on) LANCE! 

Lance: But it's myyyyyyyy chair! Not yours! I got it first! Get your own!

Karen: There's none left!

Lance: miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnneeeeee…….

Will: (looks up from his game) For goodness sake's, will you two shut up?!?!? (goes back to his game)

(Karen and Lance stare at each other)

Karen: GIMME!

Lance: MINE!

Will: (getting annoyed) I asked if you would please stop…

Karen: No you didn't! You told us to shut up!

Will: (reaching the end of his limit) I'm warning you…

Lance: MAKE US, PSYBOY! (sticks his tongue out at him)

(everyone gasps)

Will: OKAY, THAT'S IT, I WARNED YOU NOT TO MAKE ME MAD, BUT CAN YOU TAKE A HINT? (teleports Lance to France)

Karen: Yay-ness! ^_^ (reclines in the chair)

Will: Maybe now I'll get some peace and quiet… (grumbles)

~IN FRANCE~

Lance: Where am I???? (looks around) It's very strange here… 

French guy: Bonjour, Miseur!

Lance: huh? (looks both ways) Who what when where why WHAT???

French guy: (looks at Lance, puzzled)

Lance: (looks at French guy, also puzzled)

French guy: *blink*

Lance: *blink*

French guy: *blink*

Lance: *blink* I'm getting out of here… (runs) (stops) On second thought… I'm hungry. (walks into a nearby shop)

~INSIDE THE SHOP~

Lance: (looks behind the counter) There's nothing but bread!!! What on Earth? Bread shaped like the MOON? What will they think of next? (glares at the croissant, blaming it for all of his troubles) YOU STUPID BREADD!!!!!!

(everyone in the store stares at Lance)

Lance: (blushes) ehehehehe… I'll be going now… (waves)

~BACK AT THE POOL~

Will: (shouts a bunch of stuff not rated PG)

Karen: Geez! What is it?

Will: (eyes get wide) I…just…encountered…a…shiny…Raikou… I had Master Ball… But my *BLEEP*ing box was full!!!! WAAAAAAAAA! (cries)

Karen: O.o

Will: ;_; Nooooooooooooo…

Karen: Poor you. (shrugs and continues relaxing in her ill-gotten chair)

Bruno: HELP! I CAN'T SWIM! I'M DROWNING!!!!

(everyone looks at Bruno. Bruno is somehow floating in extremely shallow water and flailing his arms about wildly)

Will: GOD! Bruno, just STAND UP!

(Bruno stands up)

Bruno: (blushes furiously) …I knew that…

Everyone else: Suuuuuuuureeee…

Will: o_0 (stares at his game)

Karen: What?

Will: I just encountered shiny Raikou again…

Karen: …That's just wrong.

Will: and my box is empty! ^_^ 

Karen: Good.

Will: Ok… catching it… 

Karen: That's goo-

Will: WHAT THE… O_O

Karen: What?

Will: The…the…BATTERIES WENT OUT!!!!!!!!!!! (breaks down crying) AND I DIDN'T SAVE IT!!!!!!!!!

Karen: O.o

Will: X_X

Karen: o_0

~MEANWHILE~

Lance: I'd like to go to Silver Cave Resorts, please!

Person: Ok. Board Pidgeot #45a.

Lance: THANKS! (goes to Pidgeot)

(the pidgeot flies him to Silver Cave Resorts)

Lance: THANKS! (runs in)

Person behind desk: Excuse me sir, you need to pay to get in.

Lance: !?!!?!?!?!?!

Person behind desk: What?

Lance: My friends are here with me, let me in!

Person behind desk: (eyeing Lance suspiciously) I never saw you come in here before… 

Lance: Uh-oh.

Person behind desk: (into speaker) We have imposters at 12:00! Get Security down here!

Lance: Meep. RUN FOR IT, ELITES!

~THE POOL~

Will: Uh-oh.

Karen: We had better get outta here.

Bruno: Come on, Will!

Will: ok, ok… (teleports them all [that includes Lance, believe it or not] back to the Indigo Plateau)

~Indigo Plateau~

Will: That was SUCH a brilliant idea, Koga… uh… NOT.

Koga: I would've paid, but you didn't teleport to the correct area.

Karen: …Meanies…

Lance: You…you…took my chair… (cries) ;_;

Will: Eeeeh, shut up.

A/N: That was longer than normal. And sonicrazy/anyone else who wonders why I don't add more of the main characters: This fic is DEDICATED (!!!!) to the elites, which don't get enough fame. Know how many thousand fics are pure Ash-based? Bor-ing. However, in future chapters I will try to include more of the mains. For now, review! =^-^=


	21. Koga Goes Yoga

Lance: (walks in) Hullo, Elites! ^_^

Karen: (glare)

Bruno: (stare at ceiling)

Koga: (watch video)

Will: Yo.

Lance: -_-;; Say, Koga, what're you watching?

Koga: A Yoga video! 

Lance: Can you do any Yoga?

Koga: Mmm-hmmm! Watch me! (begins doing many complex twists and such)

Lance: O.O;;

Everyone else: O.O

Koga: (grumbling) Stupid author… Why does YOGA out of all things rhyme with KOGA… 

(Hey! This is YOUR chapter, you know?)

Lance: MY chapter involved me being sent to France (??)

Will: Mine was about evil kangaroos threatening to take over the world.

Karen: Mine was about being beaten up for wanting to be Psychic ;_;

Bruno: Mine was… worse than all of yours put together…

Will: Can't argue with you there.

Karen: Nah, I think mine was worse…

Bruno: MINE!

Karen: No, MINE!

Bruno: MINE!

Karen: No, MINE!

Bruno: MIIIIIIINNNNNEEEE…

(they get into a fight)

Will: (flatly) (To Lance) Who do you think's gonna win?

Lance: A draw. (smirks) Then they'll both be beaten!

Will: ooookkkaaayyyy…

Lance: Why? Who are you rooting for?

Will: An earthquake.

Lance: o_0 oh, okay…

(suddenly an earthquake strikes! GASP!)

Will: Yay!

Lance: o_0

Koga: (still doing yoga) Aaaaaaaahhhhh! (slams into a wall)

Karen: X_X

Bruno: X_X

Lance: Wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa… (is struggling to keep his balance on shifting plates of the floor underneath him)

Will: (psychically floating above the ground) (eating popcorn)

Lance: You meanie!

Will: ^_^

Lance: ;_;

(the earthquake settles)

Will: Okies. (floats back down)

Lance: ...Meanie.

Koga: (suddenly stands up) LISTEN, ELITES!

Lance: And me!

Koga: AND LANCE, TOO! LISTEN UP! I SHALL TEACH YOU ALL TO DO YOGA!

Will: Ummm… no thanks.

Bruno: It's bad for my arms.

Karen: I took a vow never to do anything that would make me look stupid.

Lance: I just don't want to.

Koga: WELL YOU SHALL! AND I SHALL MAKE YOU! (brandishes… Lance's old forgotten rod of Cheese! AAAAAAAAH!!!)

Lance: (gasp) Where did you get my rod of cheese!?!?

Koga: I STOLE it! ^_^ MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!

Lance: ;_; You meanie! Give it back!

Koga: Well, if you'll remember correctly, in chapter 8 you dropped your cheese rod on the floor when you ran away from us.

Lance: yes, yes…

Koga: We destroyed it! But after the others left, I came back and FIXED it!

Lance: Oh, brother…

Koga: AND NOW YOU SHALL ALL LEARN TO DO YOGA! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (waves the cheese rod at everyone else)

Will: AAAAH! NO! MUST… AVOID… CHEESE…. (teleports off)

Lance: AIYEEEEE! (runs out the door)

Bruno: (stands there stupidly)

Karen: (faints)

Koga: (waves cheese rod at Karen and Bruno)

……………………..

(nothing happens)

Koga: WHAT? Come on, OBEY me! (waves it at them)

Bruno: (stands there stupidly)

Karen: (still fainted) X_X

Koga: GRRRRRRRR! (waves it again.)

(nothing still happens)

Koga: What is going on??? 

(Will and Lance peek their heads in)

Will: Why isn't it working?

Lance: o_0

Koga: …… S-silence, foolish… m-mortals… you shall o-o-o-o-obey the power of ch-ch-cheese… (trembles) (waves the cheese rod)

Lance: Koga, you're doing it wro-

(Will stomps on Lance's foot HARD)

Lance: I-I mean, uh, keep going, I don't know what's wrong with it… ^_^;;

Koga: (looks suspicious) Hmmm…. Let's see… when YOU wanted to control people using the cheese rod, you AIMED it at them, not WAVED… (aims Cheese rod at Karen) Do jumping jacks!

(Karen stands up)

(Karen does jumping jacks)

Lance and Will: O.O

Koga: Stop staring! (aims it at Lance & Will) SING A SONG ABOUT PENGUINS!

Lance and Will: (singing) Penguins, penguins, penguins. Oh, how we worship the penguins… They cannot fly but they can swim…

Bruno: !!!!!!!!! (stares at them)

Koga: Now, for you, Brunnnoooo… (grins demonically)

Bruno: PLEASE, SPARE ME!

Koga: (aims his cheese rod at Bruno) KISS A CACTUS! MUAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Lance and Will: (still singing) Krill, krill, krill, krill! Penguins, penguins, penguins…

Bruno: NOOOO! NOT THAT! ANYTHING BUT THAT… (he goes into control of the cheese rod) (walks over slowwwwwly to the cactus)

(Bruno is one inch away from the cactus… [suspenseful music plays])

Lance and Will: (still singing) They're big, they're tall, they're black and white! Oh those penguins, penguins, penguins…

Koga: They sing REALLY bad…

Karen: Yeah, no kidding.

Koga: Oh, Karen… Finished doing jumping jacks, I see? 8-)

Karen: Uhh… hey wait a minute… DON'T CONTROL MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Bruno: AUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHH!!!! (runs around the room) OW! OW! OW! OW!

Karen: *blink* What's with him?

Koga: *blink* I made him kiss a cactus…

Karen: o_0

Bruno: AUUUUUUUGHHHHHHH!!! OWWWIEEEESSS!!!

Koga: Wait a second… I haven't taught everyone Yoga yet!

Lance: (snaps out of the song trance) Wait a sec! I don't wanna learn Yoga!

(something apparently went wrong with Will, because instead of singing about penguins, he's singing about blue pencils)

Lance: AUGH! WILL, SHUT UP! (thwacks him with a nearby stick)

Will: Ow X_X

Koga: (realizes what the stick was) LANCE! YOU JUST BROKE THE CHEESE ROD! THAT WASN'T A STICK! ;_;

Lance: (notices) Oops.

All: YAY! NOW WE DON'T HAVE TO DO YOGA!

Koga: Darn…

A/N: I am never writing this early again… O_O Apparently one of my "fics" got deleted and now my account may be banned if it ever happens again. I is scared *trembles* Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to rant about Neopets… -_- 

Oh yeah, and I don't own anything but the song that Lance and Will sang. And I DON'T WANT TO OWN IT, YOU HEAR??? Ugh… That was bad… 


	22. Pink Bunnies Gone Wrong

[plug] Eskimo Jolteon Episode 38[/plug] hehehehehe…

(Today, as USUAL, the e4 are doing _NOTHING_. )

Karen: I'm bored.

Bruno: I'm very bored.

Koga: I'm incredibly bored.

Will: I'm exceedingly bored.

(all four stare into outer space)

Karen: Hey guys, wanna throw red cabbages at Mickey Mouse's pajamas?

Bruno: Wanna stare at the ice cream man and dance in the bread pudding?

Koga: Wanna draw socks and fly to Nebraska for the Thanksgiving holidays?

Will: Nah, I'd rather-

(Lance enters, holding pogo sticks)

E4: o_0

Lance: Hi all! I thought we'd go bunji jumping!

Will: …You spelled it wrong.

Lance: (annoyed) Well TCL doesn't know how to spell "bunji", okay?

Will: Then just use… Pogo sticking, or something!

Lance: …I guess.

(so the elite four and Lance of course are going pogo sticking… that doesn't sound right…)

Will: ARGH! (flails arms about madly) Just use… ummm… 

(Wait! I've got it!)

Lance: (pogo sticks disappear from hands, and are replaced by mountain climbing tools) I guess we're going mountain climbing…

Bruno: I'm too heavy for pogo sticks anyways.

(and so the Elite and Lance are going MOUNTAIN CLIMBING. Wow! I can spell it! Go me!)

(scene: The grand canyon. Will 'ported 'em there.

Will: (staring at the canyon) Biiiig. 

Karen: Come on, we had better get started.

Koga: Yep. (pulls out a rope)

Lance: NO! NO! We can't all split up! Let's go in partners! (pauses and says very quickly) And I WANT A PARTNER! (glares at chapter 3)

Will: …Fine. Who do you want your partner to be?

Lance: (suddenly points finger at Will menacingly) NOT YOU, because I don't like you!

Will: oookay…

Lance: (suddenly points finger at Koga menacingly) NOT YOU, because… I don't like you either!

Koga: : ( (cries)

Lance: (suddenly points finger at Bruno menacingly) NOT YOU, because… I don't like you either!

Bruno: Yay! (sucks thumb)

Lance: And YOU… (suddenly points finger at Karen menacingly) NOT YOU, because… I don't like YOU either!

Karen: …uhh… then who is going to be your partner?

Lance: That's why I'm going by myself! Why did you guys force me to get a partner? Sheesh, some people… (Walks off)

Elite Four: …o_0

Will: That… was weird.

Koga: I'm sick of being with Bruno. Can I be with someone smarter?

Will: Be my guest.

Koga: Really? Thanks! Ok, Will's my partner!

Karen: noooooooo… (faints) (wakes up, screaming) NOW I'M WITH BRUNO!

Bruno: (still sucking his thumb)

Karen: (crying) Nooo… The stupidity… It's getting to me… I have a terrible headache… (holds head)

Koga: …Come on Will, let's go…

Will: Sure. (Koga and Will disappear) 

Bruno: (singing) Let us go to Lollipop land, Lollipop land, Lollipop land…

Karen: (still in grief and mental agony)

(scene: …Wherever the heck Will and Koga are)

Will: (already at the top) Koga, hurry up!

Koga: It's not fair! You cheated and teleported to the top!

Will: (shrugging) It's not my fault I'm Psychic!

Koga: (pouts) (continues climbing)

(suddenly a strange, unknown beeping sound comes from nowhere…)

Koga: Will… what's that…

Will: Hmmm? Oh, my cell phone. (picks it up)

Koga: o_0

Will: (talking) Uh-huh, this is Wi- EH? WHA? NOOOOOOOOOOOO… (faints)

Koga: O_O

(scene: Wherever Bruno and Karen are)

Karen: (pounding her fist on the floor) Even Koga would've been better… Out of all the people in the plateau, and I get stuck with BRUNO! After being with him in chapters 9 and 10, I know what to expect! Why… Why… Anyone but Bruno…

Bruno: (extending his arms to the clouds) I love you… You love me… We're a happy family… 

(scene: wherever Lance is)

Lance: (climbing stealthily) at this rate, I'll be to the top before everyone els- (sees a X_X Will at the top) …

(Lance gets to the top)

Lance: (staring at the fainted Will) …Will?

Will: X_X

Lance: What is it? (picks up cell phone) Hello? No, this is Lance, Will fainte- WHAT???? NO… You're KIDDING ME! No? Well… AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! (faints)

~MEANWHILE~

Karen: I don't deserve this… (sobs)

Bruno: Do you know, the muffin man? The muffin man, the muffin man…

~MEANWHILE~

Koga: (still climbing) I'm…almost… there… 

(a nearby gust of wind, unfortunately, knocks Koga off of his hard-earned spot, and blows him all the way back to the Indigo Plateau)

Koga: (looking around) Hmm… There's something different about this place… (pauses, and eyes get wide) No… It can't be… Aaaaaaaaahhhh!!! 

(Koga looks around the room. Everywhere, climbing on the walls, scurrying under the doors, and covering the entire floor are…)

Koga: FLUFFY PINK BUNNIES! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE… (faints)

~MEANWHILE~

Karen: (suddenly stops crying at looks at the top of the mountain) hey, it looks like Will and Lance. What happened to them?

Bruno: (still singing) Anytime, anyplace, and any day… We can do it together if that's where we stay… Him and her, me and you, it's amazing what love can do!

Karen: (takes out earplugs) I'll need these. (puts them on) 

(Karen begins to climb the mountain. Miraculously, she gets there faster than Will and Lance combined, which is kind of impossible since Will teleported but oh well)

Karen: Lance? Will? What on-

(suddenly Koga zooms by, being chased by pink bunnies)

Karen: …?!?!?

Koga: (climbs up the mountain even faster than Karen) HELP ME! THE FLUFFY PINK BUNNIES ARE ATTACKING!!! (cries)

Karen: Eh? (a fluffy pink bunny leaps in her arms and looks up at her with big blue eyes…) OOOH! IT'S SO KYOOOT! (huggles pink bunny to near-death)

Pink Bunny: (squashed) Meeeeep! (dashes off)

Karen: (chases after pink bunny) NO! I'M NOT GONNA HURT YOU! COME BACK HERE, YOU CUTE THING YOU!!!

Pink Bunny: (to other pink bunnies) Let us flee! This rabid human is attacking us!

Pink Bunnies: MEEEEEEEP! (run away from Karen)

Karen: Come back here! PLEAAAAAAAASSSSSSEEEEEEE…

(screen fades out)


	23. Lance's Coin Quest

(today, the Elite Four are… um… somewhere.)

Person in audience: how lazy.

(Okay fine!)

~Scene: …..uh… somewhere~

Person in audience: how original.

(Shaddap!) 

Person in audience: Haha! You can't do anything to me because you're just the narrator person and I'm a real character so NYEER! (sticks out tongue)

TCL: (flies up) OKAY, I'm in a REAL form. Ya happy now?

Person in audience: …

TCL: (thwaps him with her wing) Stop interrupting the fic!

Person in audience: X_X

TCL: Ok…

~Scene:………ummmmm… Some weight-lifting place thingie. Wheeee~

Bruno: URGH! (lifts weight) RA! (pulls weight to his chest) URGH! (lifts weight) RA! (pulls weight to his chest again)

(blah, blah, blah… there, you know where Bruno is)

Person in audience: (wakes up) Who cares about Bruno???

TCL: ARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!! (grabs a giant eraser and "deletes" the person in audience)

Person in audience: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH…

TCL: Serves you right.

(Scene: ….err… a cruise ship heading towards Olivine City! Wow! A real location! I'm using me tiny brain! *grins*)

Koga: (dressed in beach outfit with palm trees on it) Aaaaahh. This is the life. (pulls out a magazine labeled "World-Famous Ninjas: the real story") Yessiree, what a fine day.

Janine: (lying down on a beach chair next to Koga) Daddddyyy… Why did you bring me heeerreee….

Koga: Why? Do you have something to do?

Janine: Yes! I have to go meet up with Bu- uhhh… I mean… no.

Koga: o_0

(Scene: Ummm… ehhh… a fancy restaurant)

Karen: (Reads menu) I know what I'm getting. What about you?

Clair: I'll try the Supreme Chicken Special. (rubs hands together evilly)

Karen: o_0

Sabrina: I think I'll get… (closes eyes and does psychic thingie) no, never mind, 3/4 of all consumers said it was awful. In that case… (closes eyes and concentrates)

Karen: I wish I could do that… (pouts and remembers chapter 16)

Sabrina: Do what? ….Never mind.

Karen: So, Sabrina… How on Earth did you turn Mewtwo into a…doll…? O_O

Sabrina: I have my ways… (grins very evilly)

Karen: (scoots chair away from Sabrina nervously)

(scene: The Safari Zone. Wow! No ummms or errrs at the beginning! Go me!)

Will: A Rhyhorn. Cool-ness. (looks through binoculars) is that a… pink… Scyther!?!?

The Pink Scyther: Don't even think about catching me!!!!

Will: And it talks, too! What luck!

The Pink Scyther: (draws blades menacingly) Don't think of it! I'm an author!

Will: An…author…?

PinkScyther: YES! Now, step away from the PinkScyther…

Will: (walks backwards nervously)

(Wow! I did them all! Oh yeah!)

Person in audience: (reappears) What about Lance?

TCL: Grrr… How did you get here???

Person in audience: I have my ways.

TCL: O_O anyways… This chapter is supposed to be _DEDICATED_ to Lance. Or Lance lovers, to be more precise, because I don't like the dragon guy that much myself… 

Person in audience: Why not?

TCL: I explained that in a previous chapter somewhere, perhaps… ermmm… no, I'm too lazy to go find which chapter it was.

Person in audience: (leans back in his chair) hurry up.

TCL: I WOULD, if you would just shut up!

Person in audience: Fine with me.

TCL: GOOD! (takes out duck tape and tapes person in audience's mouth shut)

(scene: Celadon City)

Lance: (takes out a few coins) This oughta be good… (pops the coin into the slot)

(Yep, you guessed it, Lance is at the… SLOT MACHINES!!!)

Lance: Quit the comments, will ya?

(This is SUPPOSED to be FUNNY.)

Lance: You're not doing a very good job…

(That was not a good idea…)

Lance: ….uh….

(anyway, Lance begins using the machine, but he is having terrible luck…)

Lance: I have never had such bad luck in my LIFE! UGH! 

(I told you insulting me was not a good idea! Muahahahahahaha!)

Lance: (glares)

(anyway, Lance pokes his last coin in the slot. The three pictures that pop up are all the same, and all shaped like red Lugias)

Machine: (automatic voice) Congratulations, lucky guest! You have just won a year's supply of cookies! (thousands of cookies pour out of the slot)

Lance: …Darn. I thought it would give me a shiny Lugia…

Machine: (voice still sounds automatic) Man, do you think we'd actually be able to FIND a shiny Lugia????

Lance: I see one every day of my career here at AIADI. 

Machine: Well if you don't want the cookies… You can trade them in for coins at the mysterious lair of The Crimson Lugia.

Lance: That'll be the day…

(Lance gathers up all the cookies and wonders off in search of my lair)

Lance: Let's see… If I were a cookie-obsessed, crimson, insane Lugia, where would I go… Perhaps… Cookie Mountain? Yeah, I'll try there.

(Lance heads to Cookie Mountain. Along the way he sees a sign pointing the opposite direction, saying "This way to the lair of TCL")

Lance: Well… I guess I'll go THAT way. (goes off in that direction)

(When Lance reaches the lair of TCL, he opens the door. Inside are heaps of a certain snack…)

Lance: But these aren't cookies… They're… They're… LEMON DROPS!!!

(Yes, Lance was surrounded by lemon drops. He stared at all of them, then noticed someone eating them)

Mysterious Person: Lance, why are you here?

Lance: Uh… TCL???? WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU???

Mysterious Person: Huh? TCL? The Crimson Lugia doesn't live anywhere near here.

Lance: But… There was a sign that said "This way to the lair of TCL" and it leads here!

Mysterious Person: (looks confused, then whacks herself upside the head) D'oh! That sign USED to say "This way to the lair of TCLDOW" but I guess the D, O, and W were rubbed off. 

Lance: Then… who ARE you?

Mysterious Person: The Crazy Lemon-Drop Obsessed Witch, also known as Hanni B.

Lance: Do you know where TCL is?

Hanni B: Hmmm… Go West of the Morty Collectable store, follow Darkness Road, and navigate through the Volcano of Pyromaniacs. 

Lance: Where's the Morty Collectable store?

Hanni: That way. (points. A yellow road appears) Follow the yellow brick road. It will guide you. (vanishes)

Lance: …uhh… (he begins to follow the YBR.)

(Within an hour, Lance has reached the Morty Collectable store. He opens the door to find a familiar clerk…)

Corrector9Yui: Hey, Lance!

Lance: OH! YUI! FINALLY SOMEONE WHO _LIKES_ ME! (cries)

C9Y: Everyone likes you Lance… with the possible exception of TCL.

Lance: Why doesn't she like me??? 

C9Y: (shrugs) I dunno. Would you like to buy a Morty pocketwatch?

Lance: No! I'm not here for the Morty things! Can you tell me where Darkness Road is?

C9Y: Oh, it's just North of here.

Lance: Thanks… Which way is North?

C9Y: (points)

(and so, Lance was off on his never-ending quest once again!)

Lance: Hopefully it's not never-ending… (takes another step. Suddenly darkness tides over the entire sky)

Lance: Eeeeee! What is this??? (sees a sign titled "Darkness Road") Oh geez. Karen might like this… But I sure don't! (sees an Umbreon bounding over to him) …eh?

The Umbreon: Do you desire to cross darkness road?

Lance: uh, yeah.

The Umbreon: Ok. Follow me… (walks in front of Lance)

Lance: So, do you live here?

The Umbreon: not really. TCL just made me be here, you know, for the fic.

Lance: Oh, ok.

The Umbreon: Oh, and stay behind me at ALL times, or… (makes a sudden swiping motion with his claw)

Lance: (shudders) What's your name? Just curious.

The Umbreon: I am a were-umbreon author by the name of Lccorp2. 

Lance: Oh, you? You were in past chapters, oh yeah…

Lccorp2: (nods) We'll get to the Volcano of Pyromaniacs soon…

(in about thirty minutes, the tides of darkness end and the bright sun comes ot again)

Lance: Oh, it's hot out here… (wipes a waterfall of sweat of his forehead)

Lccorp2: This volcano only has one inhabitant, and he's the only one who can stand the heat. Well, I'd better be off before I melt. (bounds off)

Lance: Oh great… I'm alone in a regular oven. I'm not even to the volcano yet! (walks closer to the great mountain of lava…)

(Twenty minutes later, Lance comes to a Vulpix on the top of the mountain, eating lots and lots of cheese nips)

Lance: yipes! Who are you? Wait… you're PyroVulpix, aren't ya?

PyroVulpix: (says nothing, nods)

Lance: Ok. How much longer until I get to TCL's lair?

PyroVulpix: an hour if you're quick.

Lance: …Oh, dang. I'm exhausted…

PyroVulpix: Well, dude. Tell ya what, if you're that tired, why don't you come into my burrow and have a shower?

Lance: Thanks. Wait…

PyroVulpix: BTW, we don't have any water up here, so I hope you don't mind bathing in lava…

Lance: ….AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! (runs far, far, far away from PyroVulpix and the volcano, setting record time) Wow! I'm at TCL's lair! That only took me (checks watch) fourty-five seconds since I talked to PV! (walks inside)

(inside TCL's lair is a dark, gloomy place. There are cobwebs everywhere, and occasional fic characters wondering about)

Lance: Woah… This is creepy… (climbs the stairway)

(upstairs is just the same, but as Lance walks into a room…)

Lance: (is blinded by insane light) Woah… (looks around the room. TCL is sitting at the computer, typing)

TCL: Hi, Lance. Come in.

Lance: Thanks. (takes a seat on the couch)

TCL: (turns around to reveal a depressed face) I'm out of cookies. There are none left in any store in town. I'm gonna die. Wait a sec… (sniffs the air) I… smell…

Lance: (takes out the cookies from the slot machine) Do you, by any chance, have any slot machine coins?

TCL: (stares at cookies) AHHHHHH!!! PLENTY! (throws billions of slot machine coins at Lance) TAKE 'EM ALL! NOW GIMME THE COOKIES PLEAAAASSSSSEEE!!!

Lance: (throws the cookies at TCL) they're all yours. Say, can you teleport me back to the slot machines?

TCL: Sure thing! (Lance teleports off)

Lance: (appears) Yay! Lookit all my coins! (looks around) Say, these are the slot machines in… GOLDENROD city! I wanted CELADON city! Grrrrrrr…..

(screen blacks out)

A/N: …No comment. This chapter was one of the most fun to write out of the whole fic, although I'm not sure why… Well, nothing else to say, but REVIEW! …Ahem… Please. ^_^ 


	24. Stranded in Misery

Lance: Guys… Where are we? Why isn't the narrator introducing the scene like she usually does? … Guys? Guys? Come on! Where is everyone!?!?!?

Strange, Familiar voices: (snicker)

Lance: (nervous) Come on guys… What's going on?

Mysterious Voice: Ahahahahahaha… 

Lance: (starting to sweat vigorously)

(suddenly, a green zombie appears, and chases Lance around the room) 

Lance: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

(TCL walks in, constantly hitting herself) 

TCL: It's BUNGEE! BUNGEE I TELL YOU! HOW COULD I BE SO STOOPID??!?!

Lance: …You spelled stupid wrong.

TCL: I DID THAT ON PURPOSE! (stomps out)

Lance: (blink)

(The elite four walk in, and Will teleports the green zombie to who-knows-where)

Lance: Thank you! (bows) Wait, I'm the champion, and you're inferior! YOU BOW DOWN TO ME! (cackles)

Elite four: (groan and bow)

Lance: (still cackling)

Koga: Lance, we came to tell you, we're going on a boat ride! Doesn't it sound fun?

Lance: …I guess…

Bruno: Yay! (bounces around the room)

Karen: What are we going to eat on the boat?

Everyone: (silence)

Karen: Oh never mind, I'll just… make some pies.

Lance: PIES? ON A BOAT?

Karen: hey, you never know. Doesn't everyone love pie? Especially chocolate pie, and pumpkin pie, and-

Lance: Okay, okay!

Koga: Come on everyone, let's go!

Koga, Bruno, Karen, and Lance: WE'RE GOING ON HOLIDAY! WHEEEEE! (they run all the way to the dock and step in the boat)

Koga: Guys, I know this may sound crazy, but… aren't we forgetting someone…?

Karen: Yes, as a matter of fact, we are.

Lance: Let's just leave him here. He don't have to know…

Karen: (takes out her cell phone) Doessss anyone know Will's phone number?

All: (shake their heads no)

Karen: (slumps in her seat) This is a problem.

Koga: Where is he, anyway?

Lance: Like I would know.

(suddenly, Will teleports on the boat)

All: how did you-

Will: Psychic powers help. 

Lance: Well, come on, let's go!

Koga: How long were we planning on staying on the boat ride?

Lance: I thought we agreed on 3 hours.

Koga: …Oh yeah.

(so, anyway, the elite four and Lance are reclining in their tiny boat, when suddenly storm clouds appear out of the blue and the boat is thrown violently against the waves!)

E4/Lance: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

(then everything gets swirly, and black, and wet, and they lose consciousness)

E4/Lance: X_X

~SOME TIME LATER, ON SOME ISLAND~

Lance: (spits water out of his mouth) (looks around) HEY! Everyone, wake up!

Will: Where are we…

Karen: Looks like some island.

Lance: (gets up and strains his eyes) Yes, and it's very barren. I don't see anything for miles, except trees, trees, and trees.

Will: I can just teleport us back…

Lance: That would lack in plot, though, and TCL would be mad at us.

Will: Yeah, you're right. So, how do we get off the island in a slightly more exciting manner?

Lance: You're the psychic. You figure it out.

Will: (grumble) Fine. 

~SOME TIME LATER~

Lance: Come on, Will, haven't you sparked yet?

Will: Nothing yet. 

Lance: I wanna get off! 

Will: …

Lance: WILL! 

Karen: Lance, I don't think it's going to work…

Lance: WELL I DON'T CARE!

(it's very late at night, and everyone is very cranky)

Karen: Since it looks like we're not getting off the island anytime soon, let's build huts to sleep in.

Everyone: …Ok.

Lance: It'll take too long to build separate huts, so let's build them for two people or more.

Karen: I GET MY OWN HUT!!!! 

Lance: Duh, you're the only girl, and… let's not go into that.

Will: (shudders)

Lance: (quickly) I'm the champion, so I get my own hut too! 

Will: (wide-eyed) So, I have to be with… the loonies? (points to Koga and Bruno)

Lance: KOGA! BRUNO! YOU GUYS SHARE! Will, you can have your own.

Will: That was a load off my mind.

~SOME TIME LATER~

(everyone has built their huts. We zoom in to Bruno and Koga's hut)

Bruno: (on the bottom hammock) Ok, Koga, let's go to bed.

Koga: (playing video games) Just a sec! I've almost unlocked Mr. Game and Watch! I'm almost donnnnneeeee!!!

Bruno: Koga, how on Earth are you playing video games on a desolate island?

Koga: (shrugs) The author said so, I guess. I don't care either way. (glances back at the screen) Darn, I lost. I guess I'll go to bed now. (attempts to climb onto the top hammock, fails, and crashes down on the floor)

Koga: Owwwww…

Bruno: (already half-asleep) Go to sleep… (yawns)

Koga: I'm trying, I'm trying! (attempts to climb on the top hammock, fails, and crashes down on the floor again) Owww…

Bruno: (eyes snap open) God, Koga, if you can't even get on the hammock, I guess I'll have to switch with you!

Koga: Ok. (easily climbs into the bottom hammock)

Bruno: That was a decision of pure logic. (points to his brain) I think I'm getting more grey matter. (smiles and nods) (leaps on the top hammock, and miraculously lies down perfectly)

(within a few minutes, Bruno's enormous weight causes him to fall and smush Koga flattened)

Koga: Brunoo… You're….suffocating….me…!!!! (squeaks)

Bruno: (grumbles in his sleep) 

Koga: Blea X_X

~scene changes to Will's hut~

Will: (tampering with some makeshift radio transmitter he created) Almost….done…

Makeshift Radio Transmitter: (starts emitting sounds) 

Will: (to the radio thingie) We're stranded on a desolate island! We need help! Our location is-

(Koga runs into Will's hut, crashes into Will, and the transmitter smashes on the ground, unfixable)

Will: Ow… (realizes his radio thingie is broken beyond repair) KOGA!!!! I was about to get us off!!!!

Koga: Oh, sorry. I just came here to complain. Bruno and I can't seem to get in our hammocks correctly.

Will: Grrrrr…. Is that it???

Koga: ………….Yes.

Will: YOU… WHY I OUGHTA…!!!! (chases Koga)

Koga: Eeeeeeeeeeee! (runs out of Will's hut, screaming)

Will: the lunatic… (sits back down) Well, I guess I have to start from scratch…

(a scraping noise is heard and suddenly the walls of Will's hut fall down) 

Will: …… (suddenly he realizes something) Wait… If the walls fell down… What's keeping the roof up…? (looks up)

SPLAT.

Will: (muffled voice) STUPID THING YOU…!!!! 

(screen fades out) 

A/N: What did THAT remind you of? ^_^ Hmmm… You may not know, but this was modeled more or less after Gilligan's Island, which [disclaimer] I do not own [/disclaimer] Well, that's it for now.


	25. Freakish Twists of Luck

(scene zooms in to Bruno, who is learning to dance like a native of the island. Of course, there are no natives of the island, so I guess Bruno was the first one)

Bruno: (in an outfit complete with the palm skirt and flower necklace! Wheeee!) (dances)

(in the audience are Koga, Lance, Will, and Karen, who would eat popcorn except that they have none, so they are attempting to eat the only thing they can find…)

Will: (smashes coconut in the sand as hard as he can, then slumps near the palm tree he's leaning on hopelessly) I've tried everything. THIS COCONUT SIMPLY WILL NOT BREAK.

Karen: (eyeing her coconut oddly) These coconuts appear to have a tough composition. (smacks her coconut against the palm tree she's leaning against, to no avail) Dang.

Koga: (sniffing his coconut) I'm not sure I want to eat this thing anyway…

Lance: Come on, they're not poisonous. 

Koga: Really? (stuffs the coconut shell in his mouth, inflating his mouth to gigantic proportions) !!!!!!!

Lance: (pounding his coconut with his fist) I meant, they're edible when you break the shell first…

Koga: So that's why you three are trying to break open these thingies…

Lance: …Duh….OW! MY FIST! (clutches his hand quickly) 

Will: Give up, Lance. These things are unbreakable. (casually tosses his coconut into the water)

(all four of them watch the floating coconut, when suddenly the head of a gigantic Gyarados comes out of the water, eyeing the brown ball hungrily)

Koga: Aaaaaah! A Gyarados! (hides behind his palm tree)

(to make things short, all four of them were leaning against their own palm trees, which were conveniently all in a row)

Lance: Calm down, Koga. I have a Gyarados, and I know enough about them to know that the big guy isn't interested in us.

Gyarados: (faces the Elite 4/Champion) GYAAAAAAAARRRR!!! (a ball of energy begins to form in its mouth)

All: (this includes Lance and Bruno) AIYYYYEEEEEEEEEE!!! (they scramble up their palm trees furiously, except Bruno who doesn't have one. Bruno, desperate for somewhere to hide, buries his head in the sand stupidly)

Bruno: (muffled voice) If I can't see them, they can't see me… (shivers)

Gyarados: GGYAAAAAAAA!!! (the Hyper Beam is fully charged and hits the beach. Everyone is okay, with the exception of Bruno) 

Bruno: OWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

Will: (eyeing the palm trees, which all fell down due to the force of the Beam) Looks like we need new… leaning-on thingies…

Lance: (pulling four inflatable chairs out of nowhere) Here! (hands them to everyone)

Will: Why didn't you just do this sooner!?!

Lance: (shrugs) Dunno. I just wasn't in the mood.

Will: Grrrr.

(everyone blows up their inflatable chairs, and lie back in them lazily. A growling noise is heard)

Koga: EEEEE!!!

Bruno: (sticking his charred head from out of the hole) IT'S A MOUNTAIN LION! A MOUNTAIN LION!!! (screams)

Karen: (listening intently) It doesn't sound like a mountain lion.

Will: What would you expect from Bruno?

Lance: Eh-heh-heh… 

(the growling noise is heard again, but the location is more obvious)

All but Lance: Lance!?!

Lance: (points to his stomach) I couldn't help it! I'm hungry! (pouts)

(The elite four/Lance then remember the Gyarados, and look out into the sea. The Gyarados is opening his huge jaws and about to clamp them down on the coconut)

SNAP!!! 

(the Gyarados bites through the husk of the coconut, making a splintering noise. The cracked coconut then flies away from the force, and lands in Lance's hands)

Lance: IT'S A GIFT FROM ABOVE!!! (praises the heavens)

Will: Hey, you know that's my coconut!

Lance: HEHEHEHE! NOT ANYMORE!!!! (pulls open the coconut's shell and devours the insides hungrily) All gone!

Will: ….

Lance: okay, now that we're fed (as soon as Lance said this, the Elites glared at him), let's try to find a way off the island.

Will: (squints and points up at the sky) hey, look up there!

Koga: It's a bird!

Bruno: It's a plane! 

Karen: No, it's a Battle Squad blimp!

All: Oooooooooooooohhhh…

(Karen, Koga, and Bruno gape at the blimp, while Lance and Will desperately try to make distress signs)

Will: (grabs a bunch of coconuts and writes "HELP" in big bold letters in the sand)

Lance: (lighting a fire and waving his arms furiously)

Koga: Hey, Karen? What's the Battle Squad?

Karen: Some Pokemon battle training shop thingie. Not really popular.

Koga: Ah. I see. 

Will and Lance: (still trying to catch the blimp's attention)

~SOMEWHERE ON THE BLIMP~

Guy #1: Hey, look down there. On that island.

Guy #2: It looks like they've started the lifesaving training on those young college graduates already.

Guy #1: It'd be best not to disturb their practice.

Guy #2: You said it.

~BACK ON THE ISLAND~ 

Lance: Come on, don't they see us??? 

Will: apparently not.

Karen: NOW how are we gonna get off???

Lance: (lightbulb appears above head) We'll build… a raft! Yeah, that's it!

(everyone goes out into the woods and brings back lots of wood. After a while, the raft is crafted together with several vines. After a hard day of work, the raft is completed)

All: Yay! (they get on it and push it onto the water)

(Suddenly the Gyarados head appears above the water again. The Elite Four and Lance flee from their hard-earned raft in panic. The gyarados viciously destroys the raft, then retreats back into the seas)

All: DARNIT!!!

Will: Now how are we going to get off…

Karen: Huh? (spots something)

Lance: What do you see, Karen?

Karen: I dunno… Some… thing.

Will: That tells us a lot.

Karen: no, really! It's floating right by Bruno's head!

(they all turn and see some little box of text and a picture by Bruno's head. Bruno faints)

(they read the text)

****

SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED!

You find a spare helicopter on the floor! 

(they stare at each other)

Karen: That… is freaky…

(suddenly some giant object falls out of the sky and buries Bruno under it, crushing him with its mass)

Bruno: !!!! (is squashed) HELP!

All but Bruno: YAY! A HELICOPTER! (they climb into it, not realizing Bruno was still trapped under it. Well, maybe they realized it, but none of them really liked Bruno much anyway)

Karen: Ok, who knows how to fly a helicopter???

Lance: Mememememememe!!! (hops up and down with his hand raised)

Karen: Well, that's taken care of.

(Lance walks over to the controls and starts fiddling with them. The helicopter rumbles to life, and they take off from the island)

Karen: Good-bye, island!

Lance: Good-bye, hard-to-open coconuts!

Koga: Good-bye, mediocre huts!

Will: Good-bye, Bruno! And good riddance. (snickers)

(and so, they all fly away, leaving Bruno helpless on the island)

Bruno: …Isn't someone going to help me? (cries)

(suddenly, a bunch of gremlin-type things march up to Bruno)

Bruno: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Gremlin-type thingies: (talk in different, ancient-sounding language)

Bruno: It must be an ancient race that used to inhabit this island in the distant past, and saw me lying in their sand to come and rid me from their pure habitat! Either that, or they're those pieces of Kentucky-fried chicken they serve at Yanma's, I forget. 

(the gremlin-type thingies raise their staffs and blast Bruno allllllll the way back to… where the elites will land their helicopter)

Bruno: OOWWWWWWWWWWW!!! (rubs his many injuries sadly) WHY AM I SO HATED??? (suddenly an iron weight falls on him out of nowhere) !!!!!!

SPLAT.

Bruno: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…. THE AGONY……. THE PAIN…. UGH… (faints) X_X

A/N: Dclick, I'll try to stick in that much-wanted guest role sometime soon. ;) The evil constantly mind-plagued GG88 is missing ideas though. Lccorp2, Camino means ROAD???? I'm dead. And… Tsunami Shadow… You DON'T like Ash???? What's going on? Did you have some freakish twist of character overnight? I'm scared. 


	26. Go Karen! It's your Birthday!

A/N: Morbane- I don't remember Will crossing out Karen's name in Chapter 2… That was Lance… Hehehehe.

Ok everyone, realize I was not really in a good mood when I wrote this. No particular REAL reason, I have a cold and I'm coughing every three seconds. It really hurts my throat, and I'm going to a sleepover tonight because I promised my friend I would come. You know how hard it is to sleep when you have a cold? *empties a whole box of Kleenex* Ok, enough of my ranting, let's get on with it.

(the first scene is Bruno running through a lush meadow. The meadow appears to be sparkling and the background is pink with hearts and clouds)

Bruno: (twirling about in slow motion) What a beautiful field of fragrant flowers! (rolls in the flowers)

(ok, meanwhile) 

Karen: (is asleep) zzzzzzzz….

~SOME TIME LATER~

Karen: (wakes up) aaahh… What a nice morning… (she looks outside to see the sun waaaaaay high in the sky) Oh no! How long did I sleep in???

(Hehe, a long time, Karen)

Karen: Eeeeeee! (looks at the clock) 12:34 PM??? ACK! (she hurriedly does all her morning thingies, then comes out of her gym. She sees Lance and Will talking)

Will: …And then-

Lance: Hold on a sec!

Will: (notices Karen)

Lance: (also notices Karen)

Karen: …? Well? Aren't you going to say hello to me?

Will and Lance: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! 

Karen: …?!?!? (pulls out a calendar. It's currently the month of April, and Karen's birthday isn't even IN April) Guys, it's not my birthday…

Will and Lance: (look at each other with confused faces)

Karen: (muttering) …Idiots… (walks into the hallway in order to leave the Indigo Plateau for a while. But suddenly…)

Koga: (sticks his head out of a closet) HI KAREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Karen: EYAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! (jumps really high and clings to the chandelier)

Koga: What are you doing up there? Oh, and BTW, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Karen: (jumping off the chandelier) IT'S NOT MY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Koga: (gets a confused look)

Karen: (stomps off)

(next scene takes us to McDonalds, where Karen is eating with her friends Clair, Sabrina, and Erika)

Karen: Hey guys, you'll never guess what people keep saying to me this morning…

Clair, Sabrina, and Erika: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Karen: Yeah, that's it! How'd you guess?

Clair, Sabrina, and Erika: (puzzled) No, we meant happy birthday!

Karen: …? IT IS NOT MY BIRTHDAY, FOR THE FINAL TIME!!!!

Clair, Sabrina, and Erika: (stare at the ceiling, then look at each other with puzzled expressions) _It's not?_

Karen: NO!

Clair, Sabrina, and Erika: (continue to look puzzled)

Karen: Sheesh! What is going on???

(Okay, next scene)

Karen: OK, Bruno, you're too stupid to know when anything is anyway…

Bruno: (nods)

Karen: (mutters) _the lunatic…_ (talks out loud for Bruno to hear) so, I want you to tell me if you know anything about what is going on… You know what I mean.

Bruno: Hold on a sec. Can I ask you a question?

Karen: Ummm… ok.

Bruno: What kind of cake are you getting for your birthday?

Karen: Oh, I'm not sure…

Bruno: Well, you don't have much time to decide! It is your birthday, right?

Karen: UGGGGGHHHHHH!!!! (smacks Bruno with a mallet and marches away, infuriated)

Bruno: owww… (rubs his head) Was it something I said?

(next scene)

Karen: (has tied up Will and Lance to a pole and has lit a fire under them) 

Will and Lance: (singing "Happy Birthday To You")

Karen: (has on earplugs) Ok, now that I have gathered the victims, I demand you give me a decent explanation as to why everyone thinks that it's my birthday!

Will and Lance: Happy BIRTHday dear Ka-

Karen: (cannot take it anymore) THAT'S IT!!!! I NEED TO GO HURT SOMETHING!!!!!

Will and Lance: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!

Karen: SHUT UP, YOU MANIACS!!! (smacks them with the first thing she gets a hold of, which happens to be a cheese grater)

Will and Lance: X_X

Karen: Now that that's taken care of… (runs off)

(Next scene. AGAIN. Wheee)

Karen: (sitting in front of the authors, and all of them look like [hint, hint] they have no clue as to what is going on) Listen up. 

Authors: Ok.

Karen: Do you all, honestly and truly, believe that it is my birthday?

Authors: ummmm…

Karen: DO YOU???

Lccorp2: how would I know??? 

Yui: You can keep track of your own birthday, can't you?

PyroVulpix: Is that a trick question?

Tsunami Shadow: If you say it is, then it is. (shrugs)

Sonicrazy: …No comment.

TCL: (points to Sonicrazy) Ditto.

Karen: (glaring at them all) TELL EVERYONE TO STOP DOING THIS TO ME!!!!!!

Authors: (looking at each other and nodding slowly while grinning)

Karen: (nervously) w-what?

Yui: (pulls out a birthday cake from behind her back)

Everyone else: (pull out presents and party favors)

Karen: Tell me this isn't happening. (faints)

Authors: (singing happily) Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo! You smell like a monkey and you act like one too! (clap)

Karen: X_X

(somewhere in a large room, everyone who has sang/said/done something related to Karen's birthday are gathered in the large room… uh… yeah)

Will: (somewhat bored) Think we overdid it?

Lance: Nah…

Erika: After all, it's not our fault she didn't know it was the 1st of April!

Karen: (walks in) Ok, you all have got some explaining to do!

All but Karen: HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY, KAREN!

Karen: GRRRR! It's not my birthda- uhh… did you say, happy APRIL FOOL'S day…? 

All but Karen: (nods)

Karen: (checks the calendar again) Oh, dang! It is April 1st! 

Lance: Umm, like, duh. (gasps) Did I just say the L-word???

TCL: The… L-word?

Lance: Like! The L-word is like! Like, no! I'm, like, mentally scarred for life! This is, like, insane!

Will: (eyeing Lance nervously) Like, whatever… (realizes what he just said) AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

(by this time everyone but Karen is running around in sheer panic)

Karen: What a bunch of wierdos… (sighs) Oh well… I need some aspirin… (wonders off)

A/N: Did you read the Author's Note at the top? Good for you! I wrote that 4 days ago! -_- Ok, so this took a while to update… sue me. 


	27. Random Clips of Stupidness

A/N: As I write this, I am very freaked. Not because it's September 11 [A/N: Woah, did I just write an author's note inside of an author's note??? O_O well, anyway, I'm informing you that Sept. 11 for me was yesterday, but the site was down yesterday, so I couldn't post this chappie], but because in class today… In French, we had a discussion about the name Bruno. I did not start the conversation. We talked about how it was a stupid name, and *shudders* all that. I had nothing to contribute, so I just stared in a different direction. During the Bruno conversation, someone I hate said "Bruno's from the Elite Four!" I'm NOT kidding there. I nearly fell off my chair. Wait, I'm not done yet. There's a poster in our French room that says "Go Lance" or something in French. Yep, Lance Armstrong the biker guy. THEN, we read a paragraph in our books about a girl named Karen. Finally, when I thought it couldn't get any worse, I went to Language Arts. We watched a movie. In the movie there was this guy named Will, and he was blind (Will from Pokemon's eyes aren't perfect either, eh? What do you think about that mask?) and everyone in the room claimed he was PSYCHIC!!!! FOR REAL! *faints*

No signs of Koga today though. Not a common name.

(our first scene takes us to a library, where Koga insists Bruno learns how to read)

Bruno: Give up, Koga! I'll never read! (wails)

Koga: Come on, Bruno, no one can be _that_ stupid…

Bruno: You have no idea. (reaches for a tissue)

Koga: (listens)

Bruno: What?

Koga: It's quiet… Too quiet…

Bruno: Duh, it's a library.

Koga: It's so quiet, I can hear a pen drop! (grabs his pen and drops it on the floor with a CLINK noise)

Bruno: Shhh…

Koga: It's so quiet, I can hear myself sneeze! (sneezes)

Bruno: Keep it down, Koga!

Koga: It's so quiet, I can hear a bookshelf fall over! (pushes over a bookshelf. A tremendous noise of many objects smashing into the ground ensues)

Bruno: I don't know you, I don't know you… (whistles and walks away)

Koga: It's so quiet, I can hear a house fall! (a house falls nearby with an earth-shattering Ka-BOOOOM!!!!)

(by this time, everyone is staring at Koga. Some are running away in panic, and some look like they want to impale him on a butter knife)

Mob: GRRRR!!! (chases after Koga)

Koga: AAAAAAHHHH!!!! (runs) Darn! It's not so quiet anymore!

(scene changes. Will, Lance, and Karen are seated in some restaurant thingie. Will and Lance are playing War games on their GameBoys where the object is to destroy the enemy base with attack bombs. However, the enemies do the same to you so be warned! Errr… I didn't just say that…)

Karen: I haveta go to the bathroom… When the waitress comes, you guys know what I want, right?

Will: (nods)

Lance: (ignores her)

Karen: (shrugs and runs off to the bathroom)

Lance: (head snaps upwards, searching for Karen, for he didn't hear her say where she was going) What happen!?!?

Will: (thinking Lance meant the war game) Someone set us up the bomb!

Lance: (shrugging and going back to the game) (eyes get wide) We get signal!

Waitress: (walks up to them) How are you, gentlemen?

Will and Lance: (ignore her and continue playing the game)

Will: (to his game) HA! ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO ME! (laughs evilly)(blows up the bases in his game)

Waitress: …?

Lance: (to his game) You have no chance to survive make your time! (blows up the base in his game)

Will: (watching the enemy in his game get eliminated) HA HA HA HA!!!!

Waitress: (walks away quickly)

Karen: (coming back) hi guys! What's new?

Will: Oh, we were just playing our game.

Lance: Yeah.

Karen: did the waitress come yet?

Lance and Will: (look at each other then shake their heads no)

Karen: Oh, ok. I saw her on my way out of the bathroom. She looked really freaked about something.

Lance: Really?

Will: I wonder what… 

Karen: Hey, are you guys finished with your games yet?

Will: Yeah. We blew up the enemy bases…

Lance: HA HA HA HA…

Karen: (stares at them uneasily) Come on, let's go find Koga and Bruno.

Lance: But we're at the restaurant! We can't leave!

Karen: Oh, yes we can! Something tells me we should order fast food or takeout instead… You guys are scaring people!

Lance and Will: (look at each other, puzzled)

Karen: You know what I mean! (she ties ropes around their necks and drags them out of the place)

Lance and Will: (suffocating) X_X

Karen: Come on, hurry up! 

Lance and Will: okay, okay!!!!

(next scene) 

Koga: (in his barely conscious state, for the angry mob beat him up) It's so loud, I can't hear myself talk…

Bruno: We intend to keep it that way! Silence STINKS!

(next scene…)

Lance: (chattering excitedly) Didja know FF.Net added the coolio feature that lets you see who added you to your favorite Author's list?

Will: Yeah, that rocks!

Karen: (rolling her eyes) Why would you guys care anyway? You're characters, not authors.

(silence)

Will: (shakes his head slowly) She's got a point.

Lance: But still… 

Karen: Nope! No "but still"'s! I'm still the smartest one here! S-M-A-T! 

Will and Lance: o_0

Karen: YIPES! (quickly) I mean S-M-A-R-T.

Will and Lance: -_-;;

Karen: You guys need to learn to act more intelligent and dignified, like ME! (crosses her arms)

(Lance and Will look at each other, shaking their heads)

Karen: …What?

Will: Stop it with the smart act, or we'll…

Lance: (uses his finger to spell "birthday" in the air)

Karen: EEEE! No! Not that! I'll stop! I'll be nice! Pleeeeeaaaseee… (bows and begs for mercy)

Lance and Will: (cackle evilly, insanely, and pointlessly)

A/N: FF.Net keeps getting weirder and weirder… Well, I'm sorta glad NC-17 stories are being banned… but… I think they may be overdoing it a bit…


	28. Friday The 13th Really Is Unlucky

(you know how it was April 1st a few days ago in the fic? Well… I should re-order that so it's posted on April Fool's Day… Today it's actually current time, September 13. Or at least in my time zone it is. FF.Net has a slow clock -_-)

(scene: Some golf field)

Lance: (getting up from his seat) I'm up! I feel like I could hit a hole-in-one! (swings his golf club. The ball flies up, up, high over the horizon, and smashes into the sun)

Everyone but Lance: …?

Lance: SCORE!!!! 

Karen: Nuh-uh! That didn't count! For one thing, we need a new ball!

Koga: (holds up a golf ball) here! I got one!

Lance: Lemme try again, 'kay?

Karen: Just don't hit the golf ball too far, ok?

Lance: ok.

(Lance swings. The golf ball goes up, up, and up, then comes down at shocking speed. It lands with a splash into a nearby lake. A Gyarados sticks its head out of the lake and devours the golf ball)

Lance: I need a new golf ball!

Karen: (pushes Lance out of the way) My turn! (takes a golf ball out of her pocket.)

(Karen swings! The ball goes negative feet, therefore flying above Karen's head, defying the laws of everything you've been taught in math class!)

All: ?????

Will: You guys just can't hit the ball! I'll show you how it's done!

(Will swings! The ball vanishes)

Will: Hey, where'd it go?

CLUNK.

(ball smacks Will on the head)

Will: Oh, up there. (suddenly looks dazed) ow.

Bruno: Oh, please. This is embarassing. 

(Bruno swings! …He misses the ball)

Bruno: ARGH! Lemme try that again!

(Bruno swings! …He misses again)

Bruno: AARRRRRRGHHH!!!

(Bruno swings! The club zooms over the golf ball, and Bruno falls backwards from the force. In other words, he misses)

Bruno: NOOOOOOO!!!! (starts having a tantrum and pounding his fists on the ground) WHY???

Koga: Umm… I don't think I'll try. It looks jinxed o_0

Jynx: (comes up) (tries to kiss Koga)

Koga: ARRRGGHHH!!! GET AWAY FROM ME!

(Will teleports the Jynx to who-knows-where… no, wait! A firey volcano where ice pokemon cannot survive! *cackles evilly*)

Jynx: (appears in a volcano) JYNNNNNNNNXXXX!!! (burns up)

Blaine: (sees Jynx get fried) My, my, my. 

(Dclick comes in)

Blaine: …?

Dclick: (takes out the not so world famous bubble bomb bazooka team rocket used to try and capture Pikachu in season 1!) Stick 'em up, Blaine!

Blaine: …?

Dclick: I have heard from nearby cities of a deranged riddle master that lives in here!

Blaine: Why, how insulti-

Dclick: So I am here to eliminate you! (turns into a Ho-oh) 

Blaine: Oh! A fire Pokemon! I must capture it! (throws a… DUN DUN DUN!!!…)

Dclick: MASTER BALL!!!!! (gets captured)

Blaine: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA…

(scene: Author's lounge)

(the buzzer goes off! BRRRRRINNNNNGGG! BRINGGGGGG!!!)

Lccorp2: What's going on???

Shadow (Shadow Tsunami): (takes out root beer) Don't anybody move! This thing's loaded!

MMUSA: (takes out the dreaded pink bunny slippers of doom) BACK, TRACEY! OR YOU DIE!

TCL: Relax, Tracey's not here…

(Tracey runs in)

MMUSA: TRACEY! AHA! DIEEEEEEE!!! (throws the dreaded pink bunny slippers of doom at Tracey)

Tracey: AAAAAHHHH!!!! (dissolves into pink dust)

MMUSA: (cackles evilly)

Yui: (checks the author count screen) Dclick's been captured by Blaine!

All: (gasp) WE MUST SAVE OUR FELLOW AUTHOR! (they take out strange bottles)

Yui: (takes out a hose) It's payback time…

(scene: The volcano)

Yui: (leading the group) Ok, Blaine! Let Dclick back!

Blaine: (cackles madly) I'll NEVER LET HER GO! NEVER! NEVER! HAHAHAHA! I HAVE A HO-OH! I BET I'M STRONGER THAN RED AND LANCE!!!! EHEHEHEHEHE!!! 

TCL: a-HEM.

Blaine: (jaw drops stupidly) A LUGIA! I MUST CATCH IT! THEN I SHALL BECOME THE RULER OF THE UNIVERSE WITH MY LUGIA AND HO-OH!!!! (laughs insanely)

TCL: …?

Blaine: HAHAHAHA! (throws a MASTER BALL!!! EEEE!!!)

TCL: I knew I should've stayed home today… (gets captured)

All: Uh-oh!

Blaine: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Lccorp2: (turns into an Umbreon) This has gone far enough!

Blaine: OH! AN UMBREON! I'll get that too! (throws ANOTHER Master ball! Eeee!)

Lccorp2: How many master balls can a guy get??? (gets captured)

Blaine: Anyone else?

(everyone shakes their head no)

Blaine: Good!

(Blaine ties everyone up to a pole located in the center of the volcano. The pole slowly lowers to the lava)

Blaine: This is where you meet your doom! Good-bye, authors! (cackles insanely)

(Are the authors doomed???)

Sonicrazy: (floats in) Sorry I'm late. What did I miss?

Blaine: (jaw drops stupidly again) A CELEBI!!!! OMG!!!!! (realizes he has no more master balls) OH FIDDLESTICKS!!! WHY OH WHY DID I THROW A MASTER BALL AT AN UMBREON???

Legendary-Raikou: (runs in as well) THE CALVARY HAS ARRIVED!!! (hums the batman theme song and does a 360 spin jump)

PyroVulpix: (dashes in) OH! A VOLCANO!!! (rolls around in the heat) (glares at Legendary-Raikou) I'm the only one who can do 360 spin jumps around here!)

Legendary-Raikou: Tough. (does another one)

PyroVulpix: (pouts)

Legendary-Raikou: Perhaps we should bring M2 the Mewtwo Guru in here. More torture for poor power-hungry Blaine.

PyroVulpix: I think we can take him down as it is.

Legendary-Raikou: Yeah.

(Sonicrazy, PyroVulpix, and Legendary-Raikou fiercely attack Blaine)

Blaine: AAAAAAAH!!!!!!! (the balls containing the other authors fall to the ground and burst open)

Dclick: HA! NO MORE MISS NICE GIRL! (does Sacred Fire on Blaine)

Blaine: AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

TCL: IT'S PAYBACK TIME! (does Crimson Aeroblast on Blaine)

Blaine: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Lccorp2: And last but not least… (attacks Blaine with Crunch, a move an Umbreon normally cannot learn!)

Blaine: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! (dissolves into black and red dust)

All: YEAH! (parties)

(they all have to get back to the author's lounge. Dclick and TCL fly them there)

Dclick: (lands) Thank you for choosing Dclick airlines…

TCL: Thank you for riding Crimson Lugia airlines! (lands also)

(the authors all go off into the authors lounge, and do the usual, eating, sleeping, and fighting/arguing)

(meanwhile)

Will: This darn game of golf just isn't going anywhere! What's the score?

Lance: 0 to 0 to 0 to 0 to -493885. 

Karen: I'm assuming the last score is mine?

Lance: Yep.

Karen: Darn.


	29. The Phantom Of the Mousehole

A/N: The LOWER it is? I've never played golf before… I didn't know… Oh well, pretend it's like most games where the higher the score, the better you do! Or, just say they were playing… basketball! Yeah, basketball! 

(our first scene, the curtains DON'T open to reveal Falkner in the shower. Be glad they're not opening, folks. Heheh…)

Falkner: (singing various songs from the 80's)

__

Skritch… skritch…

(Falkner pauses. There is a strange noise coming from his bathroom door)

Falkner: (reaches down and quickly throws on his bathrobe and grumpily steps outside) Hello? Is there anyone here?

(no response. Just quiet, deathly silence)

Falkner: (shrugs and goes back into his bathroom, shutting the door)

__

Skritch… Skritch…

Falkner: Good grief. (ignores the noise)

__

Hisssssss! Growl! Hiss! Skritch! Scratch! Rip! Tear! 

Falkner: Must be some deranged cat. (unable to enjoy his shower anymore, he dresses quickly and steps out of the bathroom and walks down the hall, grabbing a broom on the way) I'll show that crazy feline! 

(Falkner walks down to the bottom hallway, and opens the front door. He looks both ways, seeing nothing)

Falkner: Where's that blasted cat-

????: ROOOOOWWWWWWW!!! 

Falkner: AAAAAAH!!!! (shuts his door quickly) God, that was creepy…

(the windows bang back and forth, cluttering. Wind seems to enter his house, and things even begin to shift about in the breeze)

Falkner: This is insane! (takes out his cell phone and dials 911) Hello? Operator? There's a mad cat attacking my- AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

Beep. Beep.

Hello? Sir, are you still here?

Where are you? What happened? Are you all right? Sir? SIR??? All right, I'm hanging up if I don't get an answer!

…

(scene changes)

Karen: (watching the news) Hmmm… Hey guys, come see this.

(the boys gather around, only mildly curious)

Koga: Yeah, what's up?

Karen: …Falkner disappeared last night. They say he just vanished. No one has seen him since. They found nothing around his house, just a few scratchmarks by the door.

Will: How do they know he's not just out doing something else?

Karen: They said that he wasn't at his gym. They have scouts everywhere, but no one has seen him.

Lance: That's quite odd…

Bruno: (reading an alphabet book) A, B, D, C, E, Z, Y… Q, L, V, K, I, S, X! Now I know my Z Y D's, next time won't you eat me? Wait, I've got that wrong don't I…

(all ignore Bruno)

Lance: (slamming his fist hard into a wooden table) Let's get to the bottom of this, guys! Ow, my hand…

All but Lance and Bruno: Ok!

Lance: We should all investigate this! From now on, you shall address me as Sherlance Holmes!

All but Lance (this includes Bruno): o_0

Lance: Will, you can be… Willson!

Will: I'm NOT BEING THE FAT GUY!!!!! (swings a mallet at Lance, misses, wacks himself, and falls to the ground in a daze)

Karen: STEEEEE-RIKE THREE! YOU'RE OUT!!! (cackles)

Lance: I only did that because Watson and Will both start with "W". Karen, you can be… The Houndoom of the Baskarenvilles! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

Karen: GRRRRRR!!!! (swings a mallet at Lance. She smacks him strait in the face)

Will: (wakes up) HOME RUN!!!! 

Karen: (does the victory sign)

Koga: Wait a second, then who am I?

Lance: You can be… Koga. Just Koga.

Koga: No way!

Lance: (towering over Koga) YES WAY!

Koga: ok.

(so Sherlance and his gang [which all detested the names he gave them] traveled to Falkner's house for investigation)

Sherlance: Ok! Willson, to the batmobile! Wait, wrong TV ripoff…

Will: DON'T CALL ME THAT! 

Sherlance: Come on, guys! Will? Koga? Karen? Bitty-Brain Bruno? Let's go!

Bruno: What did you call me!?!?

Sherlance: Bitty-Brain Bruno.

Bruno: (obviously relieved) Good. I thought you said Big-Brain Bruno, which I would take as an insult.

Sherlance: I'd take it as a false rumor…

Bruno: Whatever.

(they begin… DUN DUN DUN… The investigation)

Will: GUYS! I FOUND SOMETHING!

Koga: (rushes over excitedly) What is it? A clue?

Bruno: (hums the Blue's Clues theme song)

Will: Shaddup! (hits Bruno with an old boot)

Bruno: X_X

Will: Anyway, about the clue… (holds up a blood-red piece of cheese)

Koga: Cheese? Cheese!?! CHEESE!?!?!?!

Will: (nods)

Koga: You call that a clue?

Will: (nods)

Koga: I call it… SNACKTIME! (grabs the cheese and devours it)

Will: NO! KOGA, THAT'S A…

(suddenly Koga begins to shrink stupendously. He turns a blueish-grayish shade, with a touch of red. He even looks like he is becoming transparent, and growing ears)

Will: (tiny, squeaky voice) …clue? GAH! (runs)

Lance: What are you screaming about, Will?

Will: (faints)

Lance: Oh, look! I found a mousehole! I wonder if there's still a mouse in it! (peeks in the hole. He sees a faint, red gleam in it) eh, that's odd…

(there is a loud, screeching noise, and the room becomes a chilling cold)

Lance: I don't like the looks of this… I don't like it all…

A/N: was that odd or what? It's really late, 10:00 PM in my time zone, and I've got to get to bed so I can't write more. I will 2-marrah though! WAHEY! (eats cheese and cookies)


	30. The Freaks Took Over the World

New Features on AIADI! (For one day only! Exclusive September 16th edition! Come on guys, where are the ooohs and aaaahs?)

*We will now have a Useless Fact of the day!

*And even a joke in the beginning!

*And a riddle, too! W-O-W! (crickets chirp in the audience)

Riddle of the day! (ooooh)

On the way to the ferry that drives people from Kanto to Johto (and vice versa) Fred saw 7 trainers. Each of those trainers had 4 Pokemon. Each of those Pokemon had 2 fleas on them. (they were all Growlithes) Fred then saw a group of 9 women talking to each other. 3 of them had husbands, and the other 6 had 2 Pokemon each. One of them had a son, who was running around the field with his 17 Butterfree. 1/2 of everyone mentioned in the entire paragraph (except Fred) had a friend who was coming with them. 3 of the friends had a little sister, and one of them had 2 old brothers. A herd of Nidorina were running across the land, but one of them tripped and fell in the water. 

How many people/Pokemon/animals were going to Johto?

(answer on the bottom)

~USELESS FACT OF THE DAY~

Ummm… I can speak French!

Joke of the day!

What's worse than finding a Caterpie in your apple?

*TO THE FIC*

Lance: Ok, what is that thing?

(the small figure steps into the reveal that it is…)

All: *GASP* THE PHANTOM RATTATA! *horror movie scream*

Narrator: See, a long time ago there was a rumor told about a Phantom Rattata that haunts people who eat any food with onions at 2:34:12 in the morning. Falkner just happened to eat an Onion Omelette at that specific time.

All: EEK! We're all gonna die!

Phantom Rattata: *shriek* Grrr, be afraid my pathetic victims! Bow to the phantom rattata!

All: (bow) All hail the Phantom Rattata!

Phantom Rattata: (cackle)

Koga: (wakes up, drowzily) Oh, what a nasty dream. I dreamed I turned into a Rattata Ghost… EEEK!!!! (jumps 10 feet in the air)

Phantom Rattata: That's right, pathetic former-human! You have tasted the sacred cheese, and in doing so you have become one of us!

Will: Wait a minute…

Lance: Did you say…

Karen: One of **us**?

Phantom Rattata: *evil grin* yes, there are more of us. More ghostly rattatas, like me. We haunt people day and night, and refuse to rest until we drive our victims to suicide!

Bruno: (sticks a cucumber in his nose) You stick your right foot in, you stick your right foot out, you stick your right foot in aaaaand you shake it all about! 

Phantom Rattata: EEEE! NO!

All: …?

Phantom Rattata: Our only weakness is when a human sticks a cucumber in their nose and sings the hokey-pokey! It's terrible! We can't handle it… Die… all… of…you… (fades until he is no more)

All: YAY! THE PHANTOM RATTATA IS NO MORE! (they do a victory dance)

Bruno: (licks the floor) Mmm, I think I found a booger!

All: AAAAAAAH!!! (runs away from Bruno)

Bruno: …Whadi do?

(next scene) 

Will: Boy, was that ever gross.

Lance: Oh darnit, here comes the authors. They ruin everything.

Karen: they do?

Lance: Yes. Yui's too obsessed, Lc's too evil, PyroVulpix is too crazy, TCL is too… obsessed, evil, AND crazy… and everyone else is just unlikeable.

Karen: You meanie. Maybe if we were nicer to them, they'd be nicer to us.

Lance: I guess…

Karen: Ok everyone! (they walk up to the authors)

E4: Hi! 

Yui: Hiya!

Lccorp2: Yo.

PyroVulpix: Hey.

TCL: Bonjour!

Shadow: Hello… (evil cackle. Takes out a can of root beer from behind her back and maniacally devours it)

Sonicrazy: (is zipping around crazily, way too hyper, and a hyper Celebi is a very scary thing, trust me) Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!! (crashes into a wall at high speeds) !!!!

E4: See Lance? They seem nice.

Lance: …I guess… (is backing away slowly from S91 and Shadow Tsunami)

TCL: (happily) Comment ca va, Lance?

Lance: NO! YOU CAN'T EAT ME!!!

TCL: I didn't ask if I could eat you… 

Lance: Here! Take this cookie (tosses a cookie) BUT DON'T EAT ME!!!!!

TCL: (puzzled) Merci. (eats the cookie)

Lccorp2: (annoyed) TCL, stop talking in French, it's annoying!

TCL: Fine.

Lccorp2: Thank you…

TCL: Can I speak in Spanish?

Lccorp2: NO!!!!

TCL: Darn. How about Russian?

Lccorp2: You don't even know Russian!

TCL: So? Can I talk in Hungarian? Italian? Japanese? Ham-ham?

Lccorp2: You don't know any of those!

TCL: I could if I wanted to!

Lccorp2: No you couldn't!

TCL: Yes I could!

Lccorp2: NO you couldn't!

TCL: YES I-

(everyone wacks TCL and Lccorp2 over the head with crobars)

All: SHUT UP!

Karen: Anyway… Are you guys doing anything interesting? We're bored. 

Yui: Well…

PyroVulpix: No. Not really. 

Sonicrazy: (apparently rid of his hyperness at long last) What he said.

Shadow: (starts to unsuccessfully juggle root beer cans) Wheeeee!

Karen: Let's go away then…

Lance: I told you the authors were no good.

Karen: Let's go watch TV.

Koga: (apparently he turned back into a human when the Phantom Rattata was unintentionally defeated) Good idea.

(they head into the Indigo Plateau to spend some good ole quality time in front of the television)

Reporter on TV: (British accent) In local news, freaks are taking control. The president is now a freak, and allows people to do foolish things, such as running down the street with a banana in their purse.

Person: (in the background behind the reporter) (running down the street) BANANA!!!!

Reporter on TV: So ends today's broadcast.

(A/N: the above paragraph is copyrighted by my friend. If you want the story on how on Earth she got to saying that, leave a note in your review)

E4: Uhhhh… o_0

Lance: Oh no! (he runs to the front door and looks both ways) THE FREAKS ARE COMING!!!

(the elite four stare out the window. Crazy people are running in all directions, some throwing slices of cheese in the air, yet even more stuffing bread in their pockets and humming the barney song backwards)

Will: AH! CALL THE POLICE!

Koga: They already know! Everyone report to the cellar before the freaks get us!!!

Bruno: But I haven't finished reading about the colors yet! (holds up a book titled "My Colors") see this pretty color? (points to pink) That's green!

Karen: ARGH! Let's do like Koga said and get down in the basement where they can't find us!

Lance: AAAHHHH!!!!

(they all run into the basement, screaming all the way)

Will: THIS IS INSANE!!!!

Koga: I knew I should've stayed home today!

Bruno: I WANT MY MOMMY!

Karen: FREAKY! FREAKY! AAAAAH!

Lance: Calm down, try not to panic. Be calm and collected, like me. (freaks out) THE FREAKS ARE COMING! NO! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEEEEE!!!!

(will the e4/Lance survive the freak invasion? You'll just have to see, next time on…)

****

AIADI!

(cue dramatic music)

A/N: Bad, I know. I dun care. I wrote the author's note at the top two days ago. Silly me. -_- Yesterday was freaky! One of my friends twisted his ankle, the people on the bus wanted to stop at Sonic and Wendy's, and the person that hit my other friend in the eye with a ping pong ball hit someone else! Then I learned something about something on FF.Net… But I ain't allowed to tell! (but it was still freaky…)

Today was normal though. Unless you count the fact that I'm sitting here at this very computer typing the most insane thing (except for the Random Insanity series) I have ever written. Well, adios until next time! 

Answer to the riddle: one, duh. 

Answer to the joke: Finding a bazillion mad rabid Ursarings in your apple! HAHA! 


	31. Being Framed

(so, where were we? Ah yes, the basement.)

Lance: Do you think *tremble* the freaks will get us?

Karen: Let's hope not.

Will: You know, the more I think about it…

Koga: What?

Will: Well… we're **all** freaks!

Karen: What are you talking about?

Will: Well, think about it. Remember, we're the people who get abducted by aliens, save the world from evil mutant kangaroos, control people with evil cheese, eat magical shrinking/growing Milanos, and… Bruno's a freak all in itself.

Karen: Bruno, yeah. But all the other stuff… That's normal! 

Lance: No kidding.

Will: (suddenly has a fogged look in his eyes) I… guess….

(silence)

Koga: Guys, I'm scared! What if the freaks find us?

Bruno: (starts chanting) DEFENCE!!! DEFENCE!!! (holds up a giant blue hand, as if he were at a basketball game)

Lance: SHUT THE DARNED THING UP, BRUNO! (mutters) I swear, I want to leave him to the freaks…

Karen: Why not?

Lance: OH YEAH!

(all four grab Bruno from his arms and legs, and swing him out onto the street, then run back into their basement quickly)

Karen: No more Bruno! 

Will: Rejoice!

Lance: I'd throw a big party if the freaks weren't taking over the world.

(silence)

Karen: I have a few questions. One- Where did Falkner go, anyway?

Will: (closes his eyes and does psychic thingie) Hmmm… Apparently, he's tied up and gagged in a barren room on the desolate island of Las Paditos. 

Lance: I've never heard of that…

Will: I haven't either, but according to my psychic powers it's a very small island somewhere west of Cinnabar. 

Karen: That answers that. Two- we're the elites! Why don't we just go outside and beat the freaks ourselves?

(silence)

Koga: You know, the more I think about it, the more "duh" of an answer it is! Everyone, let out your Pokemon and we shall ATTACK!

(they all let out their Pokemon)

Lance: (climbs on his Dragonite) I wanna see what they did with Bruno! (grins evilly)

Will: (on his Xatu) I suppose.

Karen: Yup! (lets out about 40 Murkrow, ties strings to them, and hangs from a swing below them like the girl with the Ledyba on the TV series) Wheeee!

Koga: I'll just… ummm… Oh, I know! (does the same thing as Karen, but with his Crobat and Venomoth) Let us fly! Fly above the freaks!

(so that is what they did)

Lance: I can see my house from here!

Will: Hey, look! The freaks are carrying Bruno to the lake!

Karen: Are they gonna drown him?

Lance: Wash and eat him?

Koga: Teach him to swim?

Will: Not sure. Let's watch.

(they watch the freaks carry Bruno to the water. Bruno is stuck under the water, but soon emerges with a piranha clamped on the bottom of his foot)

E4/Lance: …?

Bruno: (eyes glaze over, suddenly starts acting even scarier than before) I AM A FREAK! BWAHAHAHA!

Lance: Now I get it! The freaks are using the magical piranhas to turn everyone into their evil freak henchmen!

Karen: …Magical…Piranhas…?

Lance: YES! Don't tell me you haven't heard of the magical piranhas!!!

Karen: ok, I won't tell you.

Lance: Good.

Will: Ok, guys… So, are we going to attack or not?

All: YEAH!

(they blast away with various Faint Attacks, Psybeams, Hyper Beams, and Sludge Bombs, but the freaks aren't even weakened)

Koga: Why aren't we hurting them??

Lance: (turns pale) I believe their superior freak powers are preventing them from accumulating any damage!

Karen: Yipes. Then how are we gonna defeat them?

Koga: (thinks for a long time, then snaps his fingers) I've got it! (flies down to the freaks)

Will: We may never see him again…

(Will, Karen, and Lance salute)

Koga: HEY! ALL YOU FREAKY PEOPLE!

Freaks: (look up at Koga)

Koga: What's 2+2?

Freaks: EEEEEEEEE!!! NOOOOOO! NOT MATH! (they run over the hills and far away)

Will/Karen/Lance: O_O

Koga: (bows) Thank-you! Thank-you! 

Will: My gosh…

Karen: Well, we certainly learned something from that unpleasant experience…

Lance: Freaks hate math!

Will: Doesn't everyone?

(they fly to the ground and go inside the Plateau… Which is no longer a Plateau)

Karen: Eek! What happened?

TCL: (she is not visible, but her booming voice descends from author-land where the authors are when typing up their fic) Lccorp2 took control of you and forced you to rebel against the world when Flareon from his fic read about communism! Are you going to let him get away with it???

Koga: Sure, why not?

TCL: eh?

Lance: I can always rebuild the place. I'm the champion, I'm rich.

Will: What he said.

TCL: But…but… Oh fine! Whatever! Do as you wish, but please try to keep our readers entertained. 

Will: (shrugs) Ok.

TCL: Remember, Lance, Koga, Bruno, if you guys screw up, you're finished! …Kinda.

Lance: Hey! What about them? (points to Will and Karen)

TCL: They're not going to screw anything up! Besides, I trust them.

(Will and Karen get sneaky grins)

TCL: I'll be going now.

Lance: Well, that settles that. Now what do we do?

(Will and Karen are still grinning sneakily)

Lance: What???

Will: Oh, nothing…

Karen: (begins whistling)

Lance: Hmmm…

~ONE HOUR LATER~

Person on TV: In local news, the entire world of cookies was blown up from some mysterious force. We have investigators working from around the globe on this terrifying scene.

(Lance, Koga, and Bruno are watching this on TV)

Lance: Woah…

Koga: TCL's gonna be really mad…

Bruno: No kidding. 

(they continue watching TV… but then, in a short flicker, they realize that they recognize two people putting dynamite on the world of cookies)

Lance: It's Will and Karen!

Koga: What are they doing??? TCL's never going to trust them again!

(Will and Karen teleport in)

Will: Hello!

Karen: Yupyup! (sits down)

(silence)

Lance: You guys are going to be in huge trouble.

Karen: (has an even sneakier grin)

Lance: Hmmm…

(suddenly, TCL flies down in a sparkle of red)

TCL: (has a very very very angry look) ALRIGHT, WHO DESTROYED THE COOKIE WORLD?????????

Will and Karen: (points to Lance, Koga, and Bruno) THEY did it!

TCL: (turns to Lance and Koga, who are horrified. Well, she turns to Bruno too, but he's not horrified because he has no clue what is going on) YOU GUYS ARE IN DEEP-DOO-DOO!!!! 

Lance: uh-oh…

Koga: (starts praying)

Bruno: Goo goo ga ga.

Lance: But it's a lie! Will and Karen did it! We can show you the instant replay! I taped it! (puts on a tape of W/K blowing up the cookie world)

(silence)

Karen: THAT'S A LIE! It's a tape they made up to make _us_ take the blame! We told them not to do it, but would they listen?!? Nooooo…

Lance: Wha- WHY YOU LITTLE…. (his temper gets the best of him and he punches Karen square in the face)

Karen: (shocked)(slowly puts her hand up to the spot where she was hit) WHY YOU…. YOU… PUNCHED A LADY! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!

TCL: (also shocked) _LANCE!_

Lance: (realizes his error) Oops.

TCL: OK, THAT DOES IT, EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T BLOW UP THE COOKIE WORLD, YOU PUNCHED A GIRL AND THAT IS UNNACCEPTABLE! (Crimson-Aeroblasts Lance)

Lance: (now Kentucky-fried) But they started it!

All: SHUT UP!

Lance: Meanies.

A/N: Don't ask… Well, the freakiness has ended! The people on the bus are back to normal, my friend's all better now, and… the person who was hit with the ping pong ball is all better now too… o_0 well, review unless you want me to stick ya head in the sink! *cackles*


	32. Beware the Air Show

A/N: *is in a semi-annoyed mood* Yui…Me-a read-a your latest review for Evil and Nonsensical Insanity… *destroys the world* What annoys me, I was the one who _WROTE_ the part about Lance and Karen staring at each other! They were doing that because Karen thought Lance was INSANE BECAUSE HE STUCK HIS HEAD IN HER GYM AND SHOUTED "GOOGLYWART"! IT WAS MOST CERTAINLY **NOT** ROMANTIC!!!! (freaks out) Ok, I'm calm… I'm calm… Oh, and wouldn't you punch someone too if they tried to frame you? I would. But then again, I'm not the nicest person when you make me mad. You all know that by now, I trust.

JE NAIME PAS LE LANCE ET KAREN!!!!! (Guess what that's French for. Hehehe)

Ok, moi will stop acting like a baka and write fic now. Capeesh? Good.

Lance: What did I ever do to deserve this. (pouts)

(Lance is chained up in a dungeon under the Indigo Plateau)

Lance: PLEASE, HAVE MERCY!

Mob of Karen Lovers: NOT UNTIL YOU APOLOGIZE FOR HITTING KAREN!

Lance: NEVER! LEAVE ME DOWN HERE TO ROT, JUST NOT THAT!!!

(Ah, so now we know Lance's horrible fate.)

(eventually, the mob of Karen Lovers leaves)

Bruno: Hi, Lance!

Lance: (flatly) Where did you come from?

Bruno: I'm here to get you out of this wretched place.

Lance: (unenthusiastically) _Whoop de doo._

Bruno: By the way… What does wretched mean again?

Lance: …

Bruno: Never mind. (grabs the chains that hold Lance in the dungeon and tugs)

(nothing happens)

Bruno: (flexes his muscles) Err… That was just a warm up!

(This scene repeats several times, but Bruno simply cannot break the chains)

Bruno: ACK! NO! I'm loosing my strength! Oh… lord…have…mercy… (faints)

Lance: o_0 I'm not sure Bruno had any strength to begin with…

(scene changes)

Will: Go fish.

Koga: Rats! (draws a card)

Karen: Hey Koga, got any 10's?

Koga: Darn you! (hands Karen 3 tens)

Karen: WHOOPEE! I WIN AGAIN! ^_^

Koga: Good job. I can never win… I'll be a good sport!

(Karen and Koga shake hands)

Koga: Good game!

Karen: Yeah! 'Specially since I won…

Will: (mumbles)

Koga: Come on, Will, can't you be good for even one minute?

Will: I'm not in a particularly good mood right now…

Koga: When are you ever?

Will: (gives him a death glare)

Koga: Meep.

Karen: Well, I'm going to go take a walk. 

Koga: Bye.

Will: …

Karen: Aren't you going to say good bye to me?

Will: (mumbling rudely) Whatever… 

(the mob of Karen Lovers come back up)

Will: EH?

Karen Lovers: SAY GOOD BYE!

Will: Ummm… Good bye?

Karen Lovers: Say it better!

Will: Bye? O_O

(10 minutes later)

Will: So long, your hi ness… (bows before Karen)

Karen: HAHA! I SHOULDA TAPED THAT! (howls)

Will: (gets up and scowls) If I ever have to do something again… (eyes glow blue)

~SOMEWHERE IN PALLET TOWN~

Todd: When does that huge Arcanine come by here, Professor Oak? I have to get a picture of it!

Prof. Oak: Very soon, Todd. The people who caught it are sending it over right now. 

Todd: Ok…. How soon?

Prof. Oak: (checks watch) Any minute now…

(suddenly, the whole lab glows blue and collapses in a heap, leaving a very confused Oak and Todd standing in the remains)

Prof. Oak: AH! MY LAB!

Todd: Where is it? Where is it? Now I know it's here, it must have done this! (flicks his camera around furiously) 

~BACK TO THE INDIGO PLATEAU~

Karen: What did you do?

Will: Oh, nothing… (whistles)

Karen: Hmmm… Well, I'll be off now. (leaves)

Koga: Hey Will, wanna go fishing?

Will: um, why?

Koga: I hear the Seaking are really big this time of year!

Will: Ermmm… All right…

(scene changes)

Lance: It's so lonely down here…

(suddenly an Arcanine sticks its head down from above!)

Arcanine: WOOF!

Lance: AAAAAH! IT'S DOGZILLA!

Dogzilla: (pants happily)

Lance: Ugh! He's got horrible breath…

Dogzilla: (gets a funny look on its face, then sneezes)

Lance: (covered with…gunk… o_0) EWWWW!!! X_X

Dogzilla: (sees Lance covered in you know what) Arf! (does Flamethrower in an attempt to get the germy substance off of Lance)

Lance: BLEAH X_X (realizes the fire also melted the chains) Awesome! (he runs out of the dungeons)

~Scene switch!~

(Scene: Author's Lounge)

(Lccorp2, TCL, PyroVulpix, Sonicrazy, Corrector9Yui, Dawn the Espeon, Shadow Tsunami, and… I think that's it… are lounging around in the place. The center of their attention?)

TCL: I bet 470 Author-bucks (A/N: I needed something!) that he'll last an hour before passing out from a rush of unknown alcoholic chemicals!

C9Y: You're on!

PyroVulpix: what's with all the betting? Can't a guy get some sleep? (yawns)

Dawn: Those two are betting on how long Lccorp2 can drink chlorinated bleach without passing out.

Sonicrazy: (is hyper) Juuusstt lliiiikee they alwaaaaaayssss dooo… Wheeee! (zooms around the room)

Shadow: (Sonicrazy smacks into her) Watch where you're going!

Sonicrazy: Ehehe, sorryyyyyy… (does a semi-circle in the air, followed by a bunch of backflips)

TCL: (eyes the Celebi) …Show-off. 

C9Y: Hey TCL, betcha you can't do that! (points to Sonicrazy, who is still doing impossible antics in the air)

TCL: I can so! I just need somewhere with a lot of space!

~And so, ten minutes later~

(all the authors minus Pyro and Lccorp2 are in a wide open field. PV was too tired and Lccorp2 was still drinking bleach)

TCL: Whee! Watch me! (takes off)

C9Y: Well, it looks like she's off to a good star- Wait, TCL, watch out for that building!

SMASH.

(authors wince)

Shadow: That has gotta hurt!

TCL: (slightly dazed) No it didn't! Watch me! 

CRASH!

(authors wince again)

KER-BOOM!

(authors wince again)

WACK! 

(authors wince AGAIN)

KER-SPLAAAATTTT!!!!!!!!!!!

(authors look away)

Shadow: Owch.

Sonicrazy: (in a rare non-hyper state) What? What happened?

TCL: (is lying in a 40-foot deep Lugia-shaped hole in the ground) …….ow……

C9Y: Toldja you shouldn't have tried that!

TCL: WHADDAYA MEAN? _YOU_ where the one who dared me to!

Dawn: Come on, guys, calm down… Let's go back to the lounge.

(they all leave)

~SOMEWHERE IN PALLET TOWN~

Prof. Oak: Todd, I just got word that that giant Arcanine never got to Pallet. It went mad when they were shipping it from Johto and attacked at the Indigo Plateau.

Todd: Then… What DID destroy the lab?

(they sit there in a thinker's pose, contemplating)

A/N: I had to retype the WHOLE thing because my stupid computer shut down and deleted everything X_X So it may not be as good as it was before I had the unfortunate break down… Sorry 'bout that! …Gak! Tomorrow's a Monday! School… Noooo… Why…. 


	33. The Author Hypnotation Device

A/N: Well, I'm writing this bright and early on a Wednesday morning. (A/N: an A/N in an A/N??? O_O Anyway, I wanted to say I never finished this chapter until Monday. Squeak) Too much school, it always postpones my writing X_X Not only that, my internet is working at the speed of dirt! X_X Yes, expect to see many more X_X smileys in the future. They best display my attitude. School… Why… WELL, on a happier note, I learned that *gasp* I HAVE ALLIES!!!! Hahaha! Come on, The Book Girl 2003, together we shall overthrow the EVIL Karen/Lance empire! Gwahahahaha! 

Oh, and Yui: I have nothing against it… But it's just fun getting angry like that! ^_^ You can keep it up if you like. Nothing too serious though.

Karen: Geez… Why must everyone pair me up? : (

Shut up!

(our first scene is the author's lounge. All but one of the authors is crowded around this table. All of them are acting strangely… Not like themselves)

Sonicrazy: (on the couch, snoring) 

Corrector9Yui: You know, I've just begun to realize that there are cuter guys than Mor-

All: !!!! O_O

Corrector9Yui: Wait a minute, what am I saying???

(an evil force has taken over the authors and is forcing them to be the exact opposite of their usual self! EEE!)

TCL: (very moody) Why…. Why… X_X Ooooh… (gets a dreamy look)

Lccorp2: What is it?

TCL: (sits there, still staring into dreamland)

Lccorp2: o_0

TCL: Huh? (blushes, which is quite impossible since she was already red) AAAAAH!!!! What am I thinking????

Lccorp2: I don't know. What were you thinking?

TCL: You don't want to know…

Lccorp2: (shrugs)

PyroVulpix: I HATE FIRE!

Corrector9Yui: I'm going to go call Morty, and tell him I'm going to be seeing other guys.

Sonicrazy: Zzzzzzzz… -_-

TCL: (eating cheese nips) 

PyroVulpix: (eating cookies)

Shadow: (grabs lots of root beer and hurls it out the window) DIE!

Lccorp2: Ash and co. rock! Umbreon and all the other Eeveelutions stink!

(scared yet?)

(Flower Powerer enters)

FP: TCL! YOU AREN'T INCLUDING ME IN THIS FIC! 

TCL: What do you mean? You're in it right now.

FP: Really? (sees camera) Oh! Cool! (turns to camera and waves) Hi mom! Hi dad!

TCL: Enough with that. (motions toward a couch) Sit down and be quiet.

FP: Is this just revenge for me kicking you off the Interactive Pokemon Game Show?

TCL: What? No, not at all, whatever made you think I actually got mad over that… (takes a soda can and destroys it)

(Mewchu11 comes in)

Mewchu11: But it was my fault you got kicked off…

TCL: (scowls) I know dat! But I dun care!

(FP and MC11 realize the authors are being the exact opposite of their normal selves)

TCL: You know, the more I think about it, the more I declare that Will is the stupidest person on the face of the Earth! KAREN/LANCE 4-EVER!!!!

(Be scared. Be very, very scared.)

Corrector9Yui: Think maybe Koga and Bruno will give me their autograph? (little hearts float by)

(Have you fainted of terror yet? What is this? No???)

All: Let's go start the Tracey Appreciation Society!

(Loud THUD as reader falls to floor, unconscious)

~*~*~*~*~*~

(Hello? Are you awake yet?)

(Oh, good. Well, I'll take you to the fic now. Are you alright? Want some water? No? Well, then, just sit back and enjoy the show as much as humanly possible. Well… sorta.)

(somewhere…)

(We see a dark figure hunched over a table)

???: ahaha… Soon the authors will be under my control!!!! 

(the chair that the dark figure is sitting in turns around and reveals itself to be…)

Blaine: HAHAHAHA!

(who knew?)

(back to the authors)

(the authors are still acting suspiciously. Lots of posters are hung up around the room with Tracey on them, and all the female authors are gaping at the posters with hearts around them)

Lccorp2: (writing a letter) Dear… Ash… Ketchum… Please tell me how you got to be so talented at Pokemon Training.

C9Y: Tracey's so kawaii!

Lccorp2: You are a much better trainer than me. 

TCL: I know! ^_^

Lccorp2: I'm going to give up and you can have all my Pokemon.

(Lccorp2's shiny umbreon gets puppy dog eyes and clings to his legs)

Shiny Umbreon: Umbre Um Umbreon! (Don't leave us!)

Lccorp2: Sorry, I can't understand you cuz I'm too stoooopid.

TCL: I'm stoooooopider!

C9Y: Nuh-uh! I'm even STOOOOOOOOOOOOPIDER!

PyroVulpix: Not as STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPID as me!

(this scene continues for about ten minutes)

(back to Blaine)

Blaine: This author hypnotation device is working splendidly! The authors are acting unlike they ever have before!

Blaine's Magmar: Magm! …Armag magma mag. (Blaine! We have an issue)

Blaine: Why are all the Pokemon talking like they do in the show? (waves his magic fire baton!)

(suddenly all Pokemon are granted speaking ability)

Blaine's Magmar: That's better. Anyway, the Author hypnotation device runs on this powerful expensive rocket fuel right?

Blaine: Yeah?

(suddenly the A.T.D. [author's hypnotation device) stops making noise and slumps over dead)

Blaine's Magmar: …We're out of it.

Blaine: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…

(back to the authors)

TCL: um, Yui?

C9Y: What?

TCL: Why are we staring at posters of Tracey?

C9Y: Dunno. Maybe we're trying to kill him by staring at him.

TCL: I guess. (glares at the poster of Tracey)

C9Y: But somehow it seems like it doesn't work all that well.

TCL: Hmmm… Yeah, we can have so much more fun the normal way.

(C9Y and TCL take the posters of Tracey and rip them up into itty-bitty little pieces)

TCL: That was fun! ^_^

C9Y: Yeah! ^_^

(suddenly, a flock of reporters comes into the room)

Reporter: We're here to ask a few questions! Smile kids, you're on TV!

Authors: o_0

Reporter1: Yui, is it true you've broken up with Morty?

C9Y: …(sees Morty behind the reporter mob) (gets hearts in her eyes) Of course not…

Morty: Really? YAY! ^_^

(C9Y and Morty walk off)

Reporter2: TCL, is it true you're becoming a Karen/Lance shipper?

TCL: O_O WHAT IN LUGIA'S GOOD NAME GAVE YOU THAT IDEA???? 

Reporter2: …Guess not.

Reporter3: Lccorp2, have you really given up training? 

Lccorp2: (sees his shiny Umbreon in the corner packing a suitcase) Of course not!

Shiny Umbreon: Huh? Oh well… YAY! (goes back in his ball)

Lccorp2: These reporters are crazy…

Reporter4: PyroV, do you hate fire? Are the rumors true?

PyroVulpix: See for yourself. (does Flamethrower on the remaining reporters, roasting them thuroughly)

Reporters: We're outta here! (they run off)

TCL: hey, where are sonicrazy, Shadow, and the others? 

C9Y: Dunno.

Lccorp2: We better go find them.

(they walk off)

A/N: Remember, TCL is very sorry for the cruel and unusual punishment that the authors were put through in this chapter… So don't hurt me! O_O;;;;


	34. The Uninteractive AIADI Game Show!

A/N: Muahaha. Lucky me, no one decided to slaughter me after what I did in the last chappie… By the way, has anyone been to powerpets.com? Sign up if you want, and don't forget to email/neomail me if you wants mai username! ^_^ 

Flower Powerer: (appears) HI EVERYONE!

Audience: (enthusiastic responses)

Flower Powerer: We're here on… The Interactive Pokem- (checks card) Wait a sec, that can't be right… (coughs twice, looks around,then starts to sweat nervously)

Person in audience: hurry up!

Flower Powerer: (confused) We're here on… uh… All In A Day's Insanity, Chapter 33… ???

Audience: YEAH!

Flower Powerer: (shrugs) Oh well. Now, welcome our first contestant, Lccorp2!

(Lccorp2 walks on stage, turns into his were-form, and growls at the audience, scaring them half out of their wits)

Lccorp2: Heh.

Flower Powerer: (cough) that's nice… Next, PyroVulpix!

(PyroVulpix walks out, but stops in his tracks and coughs, charring the nearest person with a jet of flame) 

PyroVulpix: Sorry about dat. I'm allergic. 

FlowerPowerer: (staring at the small portion of the audience with charred-black bodies) uhh… Next, Shadow! Or Tsunami Shadow. Whatever.

(Shadow walks on stage, pauses in the middle of the set, then sprays the audience with root beer)

Shadow: HAHAHEEHEE! (squirts the root beer at the curtains)

Flower Powerer: Stop ruining the set! I have to use this thing, you know!

Shadow: hehe, sorry…

Flower Powerer: Okk… Our next contestant is Corrector9Yui!

(Yui walks on stage, and the audience roars with applause, mostly because she hasn't done anything offensive to the audience)

Audience: YUI! YUI! YUI! YUI! 

C9Y: (bows)

Flower Powerer: SILENCE!

(audience shuts up)

Flower Powerer: Thank you. For this segment, the contestants must guess which Pokemon or person is being described to them.

Audience: Oooooh…

Flower Powerer: Suspenseful music, please.

(rock music comes on)

Flower Powerer: That's NOT suspenseful! (throws a microphone at the guy controlling the music)Oh great. I need a new microphone… (a microphone appearsin her hand) Um. How amazingly convenient…

(suspenseful music plays)

Flower Powerer: Thank you. For our first subject…

(a giant screen lowers, with a question mark [?] projected on it)

Audience:ooooh…

Flower: The first clue is: This person has a dog.

(silence)

Flower:Well, Lccorp2?

Lccorp2: Um. Uh. Janine?

Flower: Incorrect. Pyro?

PyroVulpix: I know this! I know it! I KNOW THIS ONE! …No I don't.

Flower: Um, Shadow?

Shadow: The Mighty King of Root Beer?

Flower: Uh, no. 

Yui: Morty!

Flower: No.

Yui: Oh. Darn.

Flower: Ok. The next clue is: (gets a confused look on her face) This person can do the backstroke in the pool…? Ok, skip that one. (picks up a new card) Let's do the Pokemon category instead. Ok. This Pokemon is an Electric Type. Changing the rules! Contestants, when you know the answer, hit the buzzer.

Yui: what buzzer?

Flower: That buzzer.

(a Buzzer petpet from NeoPets appears)

Yui: (shocked) You want us to hit it?

Flower: (blinks) wrong buzzer.

(the buzzer disappears, and four red buttons appear one on each contestant's stand)

Flower: That's better. This Pokemon has the option of evolving and/or has pre-volutions.

(silence)

Flower: This Pokemon has more than one element.

(PyroVulpix slaps his buzzer)

Flower: Yes, Pyro?

PyroVulpix: I don't know the answer. I just wanted to see what happened if you pressed the buzzer.

Flower: (sighing)Why am I not surprised… Well, Pyro, you have to give an answer whether you have an idea or not.

PyroVulpix: How about… VULPIX!

Flower: Wrong.

PyroVulpix: Then, how about… (thinks for a long time) Zapdos?

Flower: Wrong.

PyroVulpix: How was I supposed to know? I'm not an Electric type, after all. (starts to doze off on his stand)

Flower: Ehehe… Next clue: This Pokemon is not an evolved form.

(Yui slaps her buzzer)

Yui: Chinchou!

Flower: Correct.

(Yui does the victory sign to the audience. The audience [which has a very enthusiastic Morty in it ;) ] cheers)

Yui: Go mee! Go meeee! 

Flower: Go back to your stand, Yui.

Yui: Ok. 

Flower: Next… This Pokemon is-

(PyroVulpix wakes up and slaps his buzzer)

PyroVulpix: It's VULPIX!

Flower: Wrong. Let me finish. This Pokemon is considered the "Legendary" Pokemon. 

(all four buzzers sound at the same time)

Yui: Mewtwo!

Lccorp2: Ho-oh!

Shadow: Lugia!

PyroVulpix: Vulpix!

Flower: Pyro, you already went. All four of you were wrong. The answer was Arcanine.

Yui: I knew that.

Shadow: Suuure you did…

Yui: (glowers) I did! I just had a temporary brain malfuncion!

Lccorp2: Whatever.

Yui: (glares at him)

Lccorp2: Eeh, touchy touchy…

Flower Powerer: Now, for the bonus round… This Pokemon is 2'' tall, and weighs 22 pounds.

(PyroVulpix's buzzer blares loudly)

PyroVulpix: VULPIX!

Flower Powerer: (shocked) That is correct…

Yui, Shadow, and Lccorp2: **_WHAT?!?!?!_**

(PyroVulpix stares, shrugs, and falls back asleep)

Flower: …Since PyroVulpix won the bonus round, he gets two points, which also means he is our winner!

Morty: I demand a rematch!

Flower: Maybe Yui will win next time. She was close.

Yui: Yeah : ( Oh well. (leaves with Morty)

Flower: Well, that wraps it up for today! Yes, that was short, but join us next time on…

Audience: The Interactive Pokemon Game Sh-

(Flower Powerer stares at the audience)

Audience: uh… All In A Day's Insanity! 

(curtains close, scene changes)

TCL: (wakes up, yawns) What a fine day. I suppose I should write Chapter 33 of AIADI now… (goes over to the TV and turns it on) 

(guess what she's watching)

TCL: Ah, nothing like TV-

The Audience, on TV: Uh… All In A Day's Insanity!

TCL: (spits out her water) WHAT?!?!?

(screen fades out)


	35. Mystery Menace

Karen: Ah. What a nice day. (Gets out of bed) I think I'll turn on the radio…

Narrator: What Karen doesn't know is that as soon as she turns on the radio-

(HEY! *slaps Narrator* Don't give it away or I'm firing you!)

Narrator: Oh fine.

Karen: (walks over to her nightstand and turns on the radio)

??? on Radio: FOOLS! YOU THINK YOU CAN ESCAPE! BUT NO, I AM AN EVIL MASTERMIND AND WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

Karen: ????

???: YOU'LL NEVER FIND ME! EVER! BECAUSE I'M HIDING IN THE ONE PLACE YOU'D NEVER THINK TO LOOK: A SMALL SECRET HUT BY OLIVINE CITY! SO HAHA ON YOU!

Karen: -_-

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Lance: OH YEAH! Taste Dragonbreath, bay-bay! Whoots!

Koga: (groans as his Venomoth is knocked out yet again) I'm sick of battling now, Lance. Let's do something else.

Bruno: By the way, where's Karen?

(silence)

Lance: You know, I'm not sure. Let's ask Will. He's a psycho.

Koga: Don't you mean psychic?

Lance: Whatever.

(they walk into Will's gym)

Koga: Say, where's Will?

Lance: (sees a note on the door that says "I'm going to a Psychic Pokemon convention in some distant city. Be back around mid-afternoon") Great. Just great. Well guys…

Koga: Who needs them anyway?

Bruno: Yeah.

Lance: We can have fun by ourselves.

Koga: Yepyep!

Lance: Come on, guys. 

(they walk off)

(Meanwhile, somewhere)

Karen: Lesse… Oh sir?

Guy: Yes?

Karen: Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Stre- Err… Olivine City? ^_^;;;

Guy: Go that way. (points)

Karen: Tanku! (runs off)

(meanwhile…)

Flower: Really TCL. I didn't mean to take over Chapter 33.

TCL: Then how did you get in it???

Flower: Dunno. There I was minding my own business and doing my homework when suddenly -POOF-, and I was standing on a stage in front of an audience!

TCL: Um. Okay.

Flower: When are you writing chapter 34?

TCL: I don't know. I just hope the E4 aren't fooling around…

(scene changes. We see Will lounging around in the radio tower, looking amused and talking through a loudspeaker)

Will: ATTENTION EVERYONE! FROM NOW ON, THE ONLY FOOD IMPORTED TO ANY PLACE IN ALL OF JOHTO WILL BE STALE FROG LEGS!

People outside: AAAAAAH!

Will: Bwahahahaha.

Karen: (walks into the room)

Will: AH! (sticks his hands in the air) you caught me! (notices it's Karen) Oh, it's only you Karen.. Ah… (starts whistling)

Karen: what are you doing up here?

Will: I'm just sitting here innocently! I'm DEFINITELY not trying to manipulate society to fear me so I can temporarily take over the world and in the process change the Pokemon show so that the Elite Four appear more frequently.

Karen: Well, okay. Some guy told me Olivine city was this way, but apparently he was wrong. Can you teleport me there?

Will: (in an annoying sing-song voice) Say the magic word! 

Karen: (snidely) _Please._

Will: (sits there, not doing anything)

Karen: WHAT? I said please!

Will: That's not the magic word!

Karen: Then… WHAT IS the magic word?

Will: It's holabulagoop. 

Karen: Uhhhh… Holaboo- err… what was it again?

Will: Holabulagoop.

Karen: Hulahoopgoop?

Will: No.

Karen: Hurraytheflyingmonkeyshavebeendefeatedgoop?

Will: No.

Karen: What was it again?

Will: Holabulagoop.

Karen: Ok… Holabulagoop!

(Karen vanishes)

Karen: (appears in Olivine City) How convinient. Now, the broadcast said to find a hut on the edge of Olivine City…

(Karen walks around for a while, but spots nothing of the sort)

Karen:Great, just great! Wait a minute, what's that?? (sees a hut near the ocean up ahead) That must be it! (runs up to it)

(Karen knocks on the door)

Elderly Voice: come in.

Karen: (enters. She sees an elderly couple sitting in rocking chairs by the fire. The old woman puts down her knitting and smiles pleasantly at Karen)

Elderly Woman: Well, what would a young 'un such as yourself be wanting with us old folk? 

Karen: Well… u-uh… A broadcast on the radio said… Never mind. Sorry to disturb you, I must have miscalculated.

(Karen exits the hut)

Karen: They're far too old, and nice for that matter, to want to take over the world. The voice on the radio must've tricked me! Now I have to guess what evil villain would want to do such a thing…

(she gets in a thinker's pose)

Karen: How about… Darth Gary?

(Darth Gary appears)

Darth Gary: hey, I specialize in villain-ness in Eskimo Jolteon. When AIADI is being aired, I'm on vacation. It's not me, pal. 

(Darth Gary vanishes again)

Karen: Well… Then I guess it could've been…Evil Tracey!

(Evil Tracey appears in his milktruck of doom)

Evil Tracey: Same thing as Darth Gary! Stop blaming everything on us! (flies off)

Karen: This gets wierder by the moment… Then I suppose it was… RED HERRING!

(Red Herring from Scooby Doo appears)

Red H: It wasn't me! Geez, don't you watch the cartoons?

Karen: Uhhh… o_0

Red H: Sheeze. (disappears)

Karen: Well, there's no villains left…

(Corrector9Yui appears in front of Karen using her author powers)

Yui: You forgot Evil Whitney! But it wasn't her anyway, I've been keeping track of her location.

Karen: (still thinking) Well then, who could it be??? I'm confoosed.

(suddenly, it hits her)

Karen: DUH! Duh, duh, duh, duh, DUUUUHHHH!!! GOSH I WAS SO STOOPID! I KNOW WHO IT WAS! (She grudgingly stomps over to Goldenrod City)

~GOLDENROD CITY~

Will: (over speakers) FEAR ME, FUTURE MINIONS! TOGETHER WE SHALL CONVINCE MIYAMOTO THAT WE ELITES ARE THE SUPERIOR RA-

(Karen barges in)

Will: (immediately puts microphone thingie down) H-h-hi Karen! How are you today?

Karen: someone's been naughty. TCL's gonna be mad. 

Will: but you wouldn't tell her, would you?

Karen: Even if I don't, the 100,000 other people who heard that broadcast will. For now, I'm hauling someone home. (takes out a fish net and throws it over Will)

Will: Gah… I failed… This is humiliating! (teleports back to the indigo plateau)

Karen: (puts away the fishing net) Now to walk all the way back myself… (begins the long trip, much to her feet's displeasure)

A/N: YAY! My dad fixed my keyboard! Now I can use the down arrow again, and the space bar works better! YAY! ^_^ 


	36. Frustration with Mispronunciation!

A/N: I have more allies! I have more allies! YAY! 

(anyway, screen zooms in to Will's gym)

Will: What a perfectly nice day. The authors are somewhere else, and no annoying trainers barge into my-

(a girl marches in)

Girl: I demand a battle!!!

Will: (sigh) I knew it wouldn't last. Well, okay. What's your name?

Girl: Emma Lee.

Will: Emily?

Girl: NO! EMMA. LEE.

Will: that's what I said! Isn't your name Emily?

Emma Lee: E-M-M-A L-E-E!

Will: …oh. Sorry about that. 

Emma Lee: Now can we get going?

Will: okay. 

(Will releases his Xatu. Emma Lee lets out a Charmeleon)

Will: This should be no sweat. Xatu, just fly.

(Xatu soars high into the air)

Emma Lee: Charmie, use Acid Armor!

Will: ???

Charmie: (does Acid Armor and has a much tougher defence)

(Xatu flies down in his aerial attack, but Charmie only recieves about 21 damage)

Emma Lee: Well, Will? Char is hard!

Will: Charizard??? Where? (looks both ways)

Emma Lee: …Never mind.

(put simply, Emma Lee's strange Charmeleon beats Will)

Will: (puzzled) how could that thing beat me?

Emma Lee: (smiles mysteriously) Now let me pass!

Will: Ledybas??? Where???? (looks both ways again)

Emma Lee: (groan)

~*~*~*~*~

Lccorp2: (swoons) Oh yeah!

TCL: …

Lccorp2: HAHA! 4 Kings! Beat that! (puts his cards down) How come you can't play cards as well as the average person?

TCL: Tesse vu. (translation: Be quiet)

Lccorp2: WHAT?

TCL: (glares at him) _Tesse Vu! _(Translation: Be quiet!)

Lccorp2: …I have no idea what that means. TCL, what language do you speak???

TCL: (thinks) la francais et stupid. (Trans: French and Stupid)

Lccorp2: Oh, oka- Wha?

TCL: (muttering) …Baka. (Trans: Idiot)

Lccorp2: HAHAHAHAHA!

TCL: WHAT?

Lccorp2: Baka is a Japanese word!

TCL: Ya, so?

Lccorp2: And you weren't talking in Japanese, were you?

TCL: o_0 Non… (Trans: No)

Lccorp2: Oh well. At least you're not talking in French anymore.

TCL: Oui. ^_^ (trans: Yes ^_^)

Lccorp2: AAARRRRRGHHHHHH….

TCL: Hehehehe! 

Lccorp2: SHUT UP! 

TCL: Mais- (Trans: But-)

Lccorp2: (wacks her over the head with a frying pan)

TCL: X_X

(scene changes and we see Jolteon and Umbreon from Eskimo Jolteon reclining in a beach chair on a makeshift beach. The "beach" is in the Author's Lounge)

Jolteon: (points to an article in a page called "The FanFiction Daily Tribune") Here's a bit of useless trivia. Did you know that TCL was the original creator of the Author's Lounge?

(silence)

Umbreon: Here's another bit! (has a newspaper titled "Writing Weekly") Dja know Eskimo Jolteon is the longest insane fic out there? (A/N: I think it is o_0)

Jolteon: Well, I think we of all Pokemon should know that…

Umbreon: Hey, lookie here! It says that PinkScyther is the most worldwidely known Tracey hater the Pokemon and FanFiction worlds have ever seen?

Jolteon: Yah, well- (suddenly catches a glance of the clock) Say…

Umbreon: Huh?

Jolteon: (rubs his eyes) (blinks) (rubs his eyes again) Say Umbre. Does that clock say "5:23 PM" to you?

Umbreon: Sure does. What's up?

Jolteon: (sees the camera in front of them) AH!

Umbreon: Oh wait, 5:00-6:00 is AIADI's airing time isn't it…

Jolteon: And we're in it!

Umbreon: Not good.

Jolteon: Let's split.

Umbreon: Agreed.

(they magically go back into Eskimo Jolteon)

(we see TCL, Yui, and Shadow talking)

TCL: I'm having keyboarding class next week. I don't really think I need it because I type so much due to FF.Net anyway. How about you?

Shadow: I hate school. I hate tests. I hate quizzes.

TCL: Yeah, so do I, but you didn't really answer my ques-

(Emma Lee comes in)

Emma Lee: Hey guys! Look, I beat Dragon Master Lance!

TCL: Who's the gun master in France? 0_o

Shadow: What are you talking about TCL? That girl just clearly said something about ragged lasting pants.

Yui: No, she said it was fun mastering how to dance.

TCL: oh.

Emma Lee: ERRRRRRRRRRRGGGHHHHH!!! (runs off) I HATE EVERYONE!

(silence)

TCL: (blink) Did she just say that she ate the sun?

Shadow: Naw, she said she's late for every run. Whatever that means.

Yui: I thought she said mating was fun.

(Shadow and TCL stare at Yui)

Yui: (quickly) But that's only what I thought she said!

TCL: Hmm… I guess you're right.

(scene changes. Karen is typing an official League document thingie when three girls barge in)

Girls: HI!

Karen: W-who are you?

Girl1: (happily and enthusiastically)I'm Deffie!

Girl2: (nervously) I'm…umm… May…

Girl3: (grumpily) I'm Disa.

Karen: Huh? Why are you here? Do you want to battle?

May: No, um… we're just here… because…

Deffie: We're here! ^_^

Disa: Dummyheads.

Deffie: Silence, Disa! 

Karen: Can I have your full names? Don't your parents know you're here?

Deffie: Oh, sorry. I'm Deffie Nittley. (points to May) She's May B. She doesn't like her last name, so she shortens it to "B". (points to Disa) that's Disa Gree. She's quite grumpy.

Karen: Oh. 

Deffie: We'll be going now!

Disa: (menacingly) But we'll be watching you…

(Deffie, May, and Disa vanish)

Karen:That was odd.

(Karen walks into Will's gym to ask him if he had seen the three weird girls. Will is not in his gym)

Karen: Huh. That's odd.

(Karen looks around. Suddenly, wide-eyed, she sees a… um…** 3 BAZILLION DOLLAR BILL JUST LYING ON THE FLOOR!!!!!**)

Karen: o_0 I wonder who lost this. It couldn't have been Will, he keeps all his money in a psychically-activated bank somewhere on a different planet…

(which brings Karen to the strange question…)

Karen: Should I keep all this money, or leave it here on the floor?

(suddenly, much to Karen's surprise, she sees Deffie, Disa, and May hovering like little fairies above her head!)

Karen: Eee!

Deffie: (dressed in white with pretty blonde hair and angel wings and a little halo above her head) Leave it on the floor! Karen, you know it would be rude to steal.

Disa: (dressed in a red, tight-fitting outfit with a pitchfork, and with devil horns coming from her pitch-black hair with bloodred highlights) Muaha! What are you talking about??? TAKE IT! Otherwise, some STUPID person will come along and claim it for their greedy selves, and we wouldn't want that.

Karen: (unsure) May, what do you think?

May: (in regular attire) I dunno.

Karen: (groan)

(suddenly Will walks in)

Will: Hey Karen… 

Karen: WILL! Look at the little… people… talking to me! (gapes and points at the three little fairy girls)

Will: Where?

Karen: Right there, Einstein!

Will: I don't see anyone. (looks worried and confused at the same time) Karen, have you considered getting psychiatric help?

Karen: NO! It's not one of those "VOICES! IN MY HEAD!!!" type of things. I really do see them.

Will: (flatly) I don't.

Karen: Well, I don't see why not. They're here, clear as day.

Disa: Or black as night. 

Deffie: (sigh) I like daytime better.

May: I like them both. Actually I dislike them both. Actually… I have no clue.

Will: Well, okay. (sees the money on the floor) Holy Macoroni! Where in the name of the Whirl Islands did you find all this CASH???

Karen: I walked in your gym, and-

Will: Why'd you walk in my gym?

Karen: I wanted to ask you if you saw the three weird little- (pauses) Never mind. (walks away)

Disa: KAREN!! YOU MISSED YOUR CHANCE AT THE LIFE OF LUXURY!!! HOW COULD YOU???

Karen: I'm an E4 already. I don't need that kind of money.

Disa: Yes you do!

Deffie: Well, I think that Karen did the right thing.

May: (shrugs) Like, whatever.

Disa: You agree with me then, huh, don't you May?

May: No…

Disa: Do you think Karen did the right thing or not? 

May: I have no opinion…

Deffie: Disa, leave her alone!

Disa: (sulks)

Karen: Listen guys- err…girls… you guys are getting me into a lot of scrambling. Can you kind of…well… go away for a while?

Deffie: I respect your wishes. (poofs in a big fwuffy white cloud)

May: No use staying here any longer…Of course I'd have nowhere I like to go anyway… (vanishes in a speck of dust)

Disa: I think I'll stay here and annoy you forever!

Karen: Oh, no you won't! (thwacks Disa with a mallet that appears out of nowhere)

Disa: OW! HOW DARE YOU! (vanishes in a black stormcloud)

Karen: Good bye and good riddance. I think I'll go watch cartoons. (wonders off, still a little shaken)

~MEANWHILE…SOMEWHERE~

Emma Lee: (walking up to Giovanni) I have defeated Lance. However those fools keep messing up my sentences. 

Giovanni: You have done your job for now, Emma Lee, Agent 405. 

(suddenly a female Persian walks into the office)

Giovanni: Ah, Persian. Come here my precious.

(the Persian walks up with hearts in her eyes and cuddles in Giovanni's lap) 

Giovanni: Hey, you're not my normal Persian! You're…a…fangirl…Persian…! AHHH!!!!

Emma Lee: (quickly) I'll be going now! Bye boss!

Giovanni: FOOL! GET BACK HERE AND GET THIS PERSIAN OFF OF ME OR YOU LOSE YOUR HARD-EARNED RANK IN TEAM ROCKET!!!!

Emma Lee: Oh geez.

(screen fade out)

A/N: Deffie Nittley is like Definitely, May B. Is Maybe, and Disa Gree, of course, is Disagree, which contributes to her negative attitude. Just a little bit of help there. Remember, TCL is very sorry for not posting the next chapter earlier. TCL was busy with homework. TCL hates homework. TCL likes cookies better.


	37. CAPS LOCK STRIKES BACK

TCL: (sitting at her computer, as usual) (On TPPC) COME ON! Where the heck is Zapdos??? (keeps wondering around the maps) Come on DarkMewtwo, can't you do psychic and find out where Zappy is? If I get Zappy, the Whirl Islands'll be much easier and I can get Lugia! 

Shadow: Give up, TCL. The Legendary Birds are rare. 

TCL: SHUT UP! Listen, I spent all my money on that Radiate to make Mewtwo a DarkMewtwo, and now he can't even do anything but look evil! (upset) I should've made him a ShinyMewtwo instead… (pouts) 

TCL: (grumble) DarkMewtwo doesn't even look dark enough… (grumble)

Shadow: Well TCL, if Lugia was that easy to get, he wouldn't be so rare!

TCL: I know… But… the first opponent in the Battle Tower, a REMORAID, I can't beat with a Level 246 DarkMewtwo OR/AND a Level 246 Xatu, not to mention I have a Level 147 Charizard to help eat the leftovers! (pouts) I HATE REMORAID! JUST LIKE THAT NURSE JOY IN "THE JOY OF POKEMON" EPISODE #… SOMETHING, I DON'T KNOW THE NUMBER OF THE EPISODE BUT- hEY, IS CAPSLOCK ON??? yOU KNOW, THAT REALLY STINKS! (PUSHES CAPSLOCK) EEEE! sOMEONE TURN CAPSLOCK OFF!

sHADOW: dOESN'T YOUR COMPUTER HAVE aUTOcORRECT?

tcl: iT DOES, BUT IT DOESN'T SEEM TO BE WORKING NOW!!!!

sHADOW: wELL, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TURN CAPSLOCK OFF?

tcl: aS SOON AS I FIGURE OUT HOW, sMART oNE!

sHADOW: mY EARS HURT. I WISH YOU WOULD STOP YELLING.

tcl: I CAN'T HELP IT, YOU KNOW! mY EARS HURT TOO!

(mEANWHILE…)

wILL: sOMETHING SEEMS WRONG… I'M NOT SURE WHY…

kAREN: wILL! sTOP YELLING!

wILL: I'M NOT YELLING! (rEALIZES SOMETHING) wAIT A SECOND… yAH I AM! hOW IS THIS HAPPENING?

kAREN: tcl MUST'VE GOTTEN HER CAPSLOCK KEY STUCK AGAIN!

wILL: aGAIN? tHAT'S GOT TO BE SOME KIND OF RECORD!

lANCE: (wALKS IN) wHAT'S ALL THE FUSS? wHY ARE YOU YELLING?

wILL: tcl GOT HER CAPSLOCK KEY STUCK AGAIN!

lANCE: …I COULD'VE GUESSED THAT.

wILL: wE'VE GOT TO TURN HER CAPSLOCK KEY OFF BEFORE THE WORLD BURSTS APART AT THE VOLUME OF OUR SOUND WAVES!

kAREN: lET'S TALK WITH NOTES! tHAT WAY WE WON'T HURT EACH OTHER'S EARS!

wILL: aGREED.

kAREN: sHHHH!

wILL: sORRY.

(mEANWHILE, AGAIN)

yUI: hERE tcl. a BOOK TITLED "hOW TO gET yOUR cAPSlOCK kEY uNSTUCK"

tcl: tHANK YOU, yUI. yOU HAVE DONE WELL. (gRABS THE BOOK)

lCCORP2: (sTARTS TO IMPALE tcl'S KEYBOARD IN A VAIN ATTEMPT TO FIX THE cAPSlOCK KEY) 

tcl: aaaaaaaaaaaaah! lCCORP2, sTOP HURTING MY POOR KEYBOARD!!!!

lCCORP2: oOOPS. wELL, WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?

tcl: wAIT FOR me TO FIX IT.

lCCORP2: oH.

sONICRAZY: wHY DOESN'T tcl JUST USE HER PSYCHIC POWERS TO CORRECT THE KEYBOARD??? wOULDN'T THAT WORK?

(yUI, tcl, AND lCCORP2 STARE AT EACH OTHER)

tcl: tHAT WOULD HAVE NO PLOT.

lCCORP2: yEAH. eVEN THOUGH ALL THIS cAPSlOCK STUFF IS REALLY ANNOYING.

yUI: cOME ON tcl… cAN'T YOU THINK OF A BETTER, MORE DRAMATIC PLOT THAN "tHE dAY tcl'S kEYBOARD dID cRAZY tHINGS"?

tcl: wELL, ACTUALLY IT HASN'T DONE ANYTHING CRAZY YET, EXCEPT GET THE cAPSlOCK kEY STUCK…

(sUDDENLY tcl'S KEYBOARD BEGINS TO FLY AROUND THE ROOM, ALL THE WHILE SCREAMING "there are voices in my head!!!!!!")

tcl: tHAT'S MY VOICE, mR. kEYBOARD.

kEYBOARD: … I KNEW THAT.

tcl: sURRRRE YOU DID.

(sUDDENLY tcl'S pOKEMON FROM tppc COME OUT)

dARKmEWTWO: haha! lOOK AT ALL THE LOONIES!

sHINYaERODACTYL: yEAH, DO THEY EVER LOOK STUPID!

cHARIZARD: mEANIES.

mEGANIUM: hMMM… gUYS, DON'T YOU THINK WE'RE ON THE WRONG WEBSITE?

xATU: (CHECKS url OF PAGE) tHIS IS fANfICTION.nET. wE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON TPPCRPG.nET.

dARKmEWTWO: wHY ARE THESE FOOLISH MORTALS TALKING IN ALL CAPS???

sHINYaERODACTYL: wE ARE TOO, YOU KNOW.

xATU: yEAH.

tcl: mY cAPSlOCK KEY GOT STUCK AGAIN! (sOBS)

dARKmEWTWO: tHEN GET IT unstuck, sMART oNES!

tcl: (GLARES AT dARKmEWTWO) wE DON'T KNOW HOW!

dARKmEWTWO: bAKAS.

(tcl'S tppc pOKEMON DISAPPEAR)

tcl: I NEVER KNEW THEY WERE THAT RUDE. 

lCCORP2: tHIS IS BY FAR THE WORST CHAPTER YET.

tcl: shut up!

sHADOW: sTARING AT ALL THESE CAPITAL LETTERS IS GIVING ME A MIGRANE…

tcl: yOU THINK YOU HAVE IT BAD? I HAD TO TYPE THIS CRAP!

lCCORP2: tHEN WHY ARE YOU STILL TYPING IT?

tcl: bECAUSE…. aiadi MUST CONTINUE! (lAUGHS EVILLY) hEY, I'VE GOT AN IDEA! lET'S GO TO A TALENT SHOW AND WE CAN USE OUR SUPERIOR CAPITAL LETTER SKILLS TO AMAZE EVERYONE!

lCCORP2: I GUESS. wE'VE GOT NOTHING ELSE TO DO.

(lCCORP2, tcl, yUI, AND sHADOW HEAD OFF. tHE OTHER AUTHORS ARE STILL IN THE AUTHOR'S LOUNGE FOR LACK OF SOMETHING BETTER TO DO)

(aT THE TALENT SHOW)

aNNOUNCER: nEXT UP… tcl, yUI, sHADOW, AND lCCORP2!

(THE AUTHORS WALK OUT)

(SUDDENLY A LOUD "clicking" noise occurs)

TCL: Good afternoon ladies and gents! 

Lccorp2: Yah.

TCL: We're here to share our amazing caps lock skills with you all! 

Shadow: Um, TCL?

TCL: What?

Shadow: Do you get the feeling that we're not talking in caps anymore?

TCL: (takes out her keyboard to see that the Caps Lock key is just like normal) WOOHOO! Okay then! (turns to look at the unamused audience)

Audience: BOOOOOOOO! (throws tomatoes and Snorlaxes at them)

Yui: Brilliant idea, TCL. (rolls eyes)

TCL: Eh-heh-heh… Come on guys, let's split!

Lccorp2: Suddenly I feel that Eskimo Jolteon is far more superior than it was last time. 

TCL: Don't say that to my little AIADI! 

Lccorp2: (rolls eyes) 

Yui: Well, we'd better get out of here. I don't want Morty to see me covered in tomatoes.

TCL: I guess.

(they leave)

A/N: This chapter=More stupid than usual


	38. Dude, You're Gettin' a Headache!

A/N: (bursts into tears) LCCORP2 HAS A LUGIA ON HIS TPPC ACCOUNT AND I DON'T!!!! Waaaaaaaaah.... Oh well, least I have me Xatu (huggles her Xatu)

(Author's Lounge)

Yui: What's this?

Shadow: It's this big package that came in the mail with no name. I wonder who it's for?

Yui: (sees the box, which is clearly labeled "Warning: Do not open this box. Can cause severe headaches and stomach pains") Who cares. I wanna open it.

Shadow: Ok! ^_^

(they both bend down, tear the tape off of the box, and rip it open...)

Yui: Aw man! There's nothing in it!

Shadow: That bites!

Yui: Let's go tell the others someone's sending us phony presents... By the way, where is everyone?

(~SOMEWHERE~)

TCL: Oh. Owwwwwww.... I think I'm gonna die...

Lccorp2: Me too!

PyroVulpix: Me three...

Flower Powerer: Me four!

Esther: Me fiv-

Sonicrazy: We get the idea. But me six, anyway.

TCL: I wonder why. I've never gotten stomach aches from cookies before, or at least not such severe ones...

Sonicrazy: Maybe there's a disease going around.

TCL: That's probably it.

Lccorp2: I don't think so...

PyroVulpix: Diseases are mean.

(Yui and Shadow come in)

Yui: Hiya!

Shadow: Ya. Whazzuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup?

TCL: My head hurts! And my stomach does too!

(Yui and Shadow stare at each other)

Yui: W-we have no idea what's going on... Get well soon guys! ^_^;;

Shadow: Y-yeah!

(Yui and Shadow quickly exit)

Lccorp2: What's up with them?

PyroVulpix: Maybe they're feeling guilty that we're suffering and they're not.

~INDIGO PLATEAU~

Will: Hey, what's this?

Karen: What's what?

Will: This.

Karen: That?

Will: No, this!

Karen: That?

Will: No, _this_! (points to a box on the floor)

Karen: Oh. I don't know.

Will: You're helpful.

Karen: I know.

(Karen exits)

(Will sits there, pondering about what the box could be)

Will: Oh well, no harm in opening it...

~SOME TWO HOURS LATER~

(we see the authors, elite four, and Lance tied up to wierdo stretchers in the middle of a laboratory-looking room)

Shadow: (wakes up) Ugh... Where are we?

Yui: Somewhere wierd.

Lccorp2: I still have a headache...

(suddenly, they see a tall, dark figure against the wall...)

Shadow: Eep! Who is that?

Flower: I have no idea... But I think we're all gonna die!

PyroVulpix: Let's try to have a positive attitude.

Sonicrazy: Yeah. Let's be optimistic.

Bruno: What does "optimistic" mean?

(no one replies)

(the dark figure steps into the light to reveal...)

All: *gasp* JHUDORA!

Jhudora: (For all who don't know, she's a dark faerie from NeoPets) HA! That's right! Cower in fear, my mortals!

TCL: But you're a villain in NeoPets- Not Pokemon!

Jhudora: (annoyed) Yes I know that. But when I try to mess with Neopet characters the Faerie Queen and those oh-so-annoying goody-goody-two-shoes Neopians try to stop me! In the pesky inferior world of Pokemon, there is no one to hamper my ingenious attempts to take over the planet! NO ONE! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

Bruno: I didn't understand a word she just said...

Jhudora: Fool! (turns Bruno into a toad)

The tiny toad on the floor formerly known as Bruno: Ribbit?

Jhudora: (cackles)

The tiny toad on the floor formerly known as Bruno: Ribbit.

Yui: How stupid.

Jhudora: You dare defy me??? (turns Yui into a TV)

The TV formerly known as Yui: (sits there)

Jhudora: (grabs a remote) (turns Yui on)

The TV formerly known as Yui: (starts playing channels all having the name "Morty" in the title)

Jhudora: Can't I get cable on this thing???

TCL: I dunno.

Jhudora: Nice idea. (turns TCL into a TV and turns her on)

(TCL starts playing cooking channels about people making cookies)

Jhudora: (groans) Forget that.

Sonicrazy: I know. I'm a Celebi, I'll just rewind time to get away from Jhudora-

Jhudora: (troubled) that's right. Well... (gets an idea) Muah!

(suddenly all authors [including Yui and TCL] are turned into their powerless human selves)

The freaked-out brown haired insane girl sometimes known as TCL: (realizes) OH SHOOT! TURN ME BACK INTO MYSELF RIGHT NOW!

Jhudora: NEVER!

The freaked-out brown haired insane girl sometimes known as TCL: Rats.

Lccorp2: I can't turn into Umbreon! (pouts)

Sonicrazy: I wanna be a Celebi again...

Jhudora: Well you can't...so too bad!

Sonicrazy: : (

Jhudora: MUAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!

(suddenly Batman and Robin burst in)

Batman: Never fear, Batman is here!

Robin: Eee! A freaky purple lady! o_0

Jhudora: WHY YOU- (turns Robin into a robin)

Robin: Tweet. (starts making indescribable bird noises)

Batman: what did you do to my apprentice?

Jhudora: (turns Batman into a bat)

TCL's annoying sister: Hey! I heard a song, wanna hear it?

The freaked-out brown haired insane girl sometimes known as TCL: No.

TCL's annoying sister: Oooooh Batman's in the classroom, Robin's in the hall, Joker's in the bathroom, peeing on the wall!

The freaked-out brown haired insane girl sometimes known as TCL: I TOLD YOU TO GET LOST!

TCL's annoying sister: Wait, I have more! Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg! The batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker took bal-

(Jhudora turns TCL's annoying sister into a pencil)

The freaked-out brown haired insane girl sometimes known as TCL: GO JHUDORA! ^_^

Jhudora: Excuse me???

The freaked-out brown haired insane girl sometimes known as TCL: Eh-heh-heh-heh...

Jhudora: Anyway. On to the plot. I sent you all these boxes that contained stomach pains and headaches. Knowing that curiousity would get the best of you, I labeled them, knowing you wouldn't believe it. You all passed out from pain, and now I am here to inject you with MuahahaIamanevilpersonandIwilltakeovertheworld, which is element #-192942 on the Periodic Table! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

The freaked-out brown haired insane girl sometimes known as TCL: I don't know much about science...

Yui: None of us do. 

Jhudora: (hides science textbook behind her back) Well, can't say I didn't study.

Yui: o_0

(suddenly-)

~*~*~*~KABOOOMMMM~*~*~*~*~

(we see a tall dark figure standing in the pile of rubble formerly known as the wall.)

Sonicrazy: I wonder who that is?

Will: Who knows.

Koga: It looks kinda familiar...

Bruno: Yeah! Isn't it that guy from the pizza commercial- (sees people staring at him)Never mind...

Karen: It kinda looks like...

Lance: Go ahead, I have nothing to say.

(the dust clears to reveal...)

Yui: MORRRTTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! ^______________^ (little hearts float around her head)

Lccorp2: Show-off. 

PyroVulpix: Morty? Ugh... He doesn't know the muffin man! I asked him...

Lance: Morty?!?

Morty: Not just Morty. I am Mega-Morty, destined to protect the girl I love! (strikes a pose)

Yui: Awww... How nice of you to rescue us!

Jhudora: FOOL! DO YOU THINK YOU CAN DEFEAT ME???

Mega-Morty: (cooly) Yes. (turns Jhudora into a Light Faerie)

Jhudora: AAAAAAH! NO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? I AM A LIGHT FAERIE NOW! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... (starts killing herself)

Mega-Morty: I think that's all taken care of. (turns into normal Morty, and then restores everyone to their normal selves)

Yui: My hero! (runs into his arms)

TCL: (tries not to gag) _How sweet..._

Sonicrazy: _...Moving..._

Shadow: _...Romantic..._

Dawn: _...Beautiful..._

Lccorp2: **...Disgusting...**

(everyone glares at Lc, who shrugs)

A/N: SOOOOOO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING!!! (cries again) So much school, and homework, and annoying moms and sisters who make you do things you don't wanna do... It's too much for me! *sob*


	39. Let's All Sing

A/N: To make up for not updating, I made another chappie, same day! (cheers) 

Disclaimer: (drags Lccorp2 AND Dawn out on leashes) SAY HELLO TO TCL'S OFFICIAL DISCLAIMER SECTION!

Lccorp2: (in his were-form) This isn't funny.

Dawn: TCL, what do I get for doing the Disclaimer?

TCL: Well, you get this handy little red Lugia plush, autographed by me!

Dawn: Fine. TCL does not own Pokemon, or any of the original versions of the songs sung by characters in this fic. She does however own this fic and the many bruises and broken bones she will get when Lccorp2 pummels her for using his ideas and dragging him out on leash.

(we see the Elite Four, doing nothing, as usual)

Will: I'm bored.

Koga: Let's sing a song.

Bruno: Or dance a jig.

Karen: Or tape Koga and Brunos' mouths shut.

Lance: I like that last one.

(Will, Karen, and Lance grab some tape and use it on Koga and Bruno)

Will: Hey, this gave me an idea.

Karen: what?

Will: Let's eat something.

Karen: I don't know how that connected to what we just did, but ok.

(they exit)

~SOMEWHERE~

Lance: Hello, my audience! Today me and my two fellow Elites will entertain you!

(audience of authors and Gym Leaders stare)

Lance: ehh... Well, here we are now!

(culturally unknown music plays)

Lance: Oooh take me back home... Where the Dragonites roam...

Karen: (walks out on stage) It's my party and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want too... You would cry too if you were in AIADI toooo!

Will: (comes on stage) (to the tune of "They Might be Giants") They might be flamers! They might be flamers! They might be dumb, they might be mean, they might've eaten too much beaaaaans....

(audience sits there, unblinkingly)

Lance: Eee, tough crowd.

Will: (still singing) Mean anonymous reviews on your ficcccc... Mean anonymous reviews everywhere... You might not want to be famed, because you may get flamed, and what are we gonna do unless they are.....

Lance: SHUT UP!

(Audience blinks)

Lance: (Groans) Guys, got any more songs?

Karen: (singing) Oops, I did it again! I ate too much chocolate before bedtime...

Lance: That's lame!

Karen: I don't care, all right!?

Lance: (sighs)

Will: Jingle bells, Grimer smells, Tracey is a freak! We all want to kill him by drowning him in a creek!

(spotlight falls on Karen)

Karen: I feel like singing! Oooh...

Once there was a Caterpie,

Who wanted to be a referee,

He would've been really great

But he evolved into a Metapod, it was too late

Then there was a hurricane,

Metapod was in a world of pain,

He was hurled onto the football field,

Got trampled and needed to be healed!

At the last minute, Metapod burst

From his shell, and as he dispersed 

He decided that his health came first

And flew away to quench his thirst!

Will: You never said he was thirsty....

Karen: I needed something that would rhyme, geez!

Will: Well...

One day in Autumn this guy turned teal,

he just had eaten a very bad meal,

He got really sick and hurled and hurled,

till he polluted the entire world!

Karen: That's sick!

Will: Shaddap.

Lance: You're both inferior! Watch and learn from da mastah! I call it, "Ode to Dragon Pokemon!"

Will: Stupid title...

Lance: Lemme finish, will you?

Once there were majestic Dragonites,

Who got into dominant fights,

And by the white of the moon's light

They rumbled and scrambled into the night...

They woke up in time to see Kingdra's great yawn,

as from which great whirlpools dawned,

and all awakened beings were at harmony

With whoever was racing deep under the sea

Lugia rumbled from miles below,

swimming on lookout on the ocean's toe

Goldeens and Magikarps swam near the shore,

Great Dragonairs ruled over many more

Gyarados roars at the morning sky,

as Charizards pass preferring to fly,

Because of all this, many are told 

that the spirit of dragons never gets old.

Well, what do you think?

Will: That wasn't a song!

Karen: It was a poem!

Lance: Well I spent 3 hours composing it, so I wouldn't be so insulting I were you.

(Will and Karen stare)

Will: 3 hours writing _that_?

Karen: Your brain must be slow. Why, TCL's the one typing this fic and writing that stupid poem only took her 10 minutes!

Lance: ...Bakas...

Will: Baka yourself. I'm bored, and this is stupid. (teleports off)

Lance: Yeah. (leaves)

Karen: Oh great. Now I'm left here...

(suddenly Disa, Deffie, and May pop up)

Karen: (flatly) What do _you_ want?

Deffie: We don't want to miss out on all the fun! 

Karen: Fun???

Deffie: (sings in a heavenly angel voice) Do the right thing and you shall be rewarded!

Disa: (sings in an evil, scary voice) Steal things from others, you'll be glad you hoarded!

May: (talks in a flat, bored-sounding voice) Do whatever you want, and... I can't think of anything that rhymes with "orded"...

Karen: Is that it????

Deffie: Yes.

(they vanish)

Karen: They are wierd. (wonders off)


	40. DigiDevious

A/N: *is laughing insanely* *gasps for air* Oh my... I just found out my worst enemy/rival likes some girl who sits at my table... He asked her to the dance and gave her candy, one of mai best friends told me so! ^__^ See, my friend- he knew about it because he is the boy table's "messenger" to the girls, lol :) How he got picked for that job I'll never know...But I don't care... *sudden dreamy look* Hey, none of your business... *thwacks you with her old keyboard, which had long since broken*

Disclaimer: Whooo! Lesse, who will do the disclaimer today?

(Yui walks in)

Yui: TCL, what are you doing?

TCL: Do the disclaimer, Yui. 

Yui: What? Me?

TCL: Yes. Do it, and I'll give you THIS MORTY HAPPY FUN KIT! (waves it around Yui's face)

Yui: (in a trance) Morty...Happy...Fun...Kit...

TCL: ...Complete with Morty collectables and an autographed biography of Morty! 

Yui: I'll take it!

TCL: First ya gotta do the disclaimer!

Yui: OK. TCL does not own Pokemon or Digimon, nor does she own this idea of the disclaimer. However, she does own this fic, and the many freaky thoughts she gets at school-

TCL: TAKE THAT BACK! (chases her)

(today we see the Gym Leaders *surprise surprise* standing on a basketball court)

Bugsy: It's Kanto Vs. Johto! We will overpower you losers! :P 

Brock: Duuuuuhhhh... No, we'll beat you... duhhhhhhh... (nibbles on his shoelace)

Clair: Idiot.

(scene switches to the Elite Four, who are conversing with the authors)

Will: Anyway, TCL, it has come to our attention this fic has reached its 200 review milestone.

TCL: *nodnod*

Will: Because of this, I believe that all of us should get a major raise. After all, there was this one TV show where the cast were each paid a million dollars for each episode!

Karen: Say what???

Lance: And we only get paid 300 per chapter? In Pokemon money, where 300 is a horrible amount???

Bruno: (foams at the mouth)

Karen: Raise our pay check or we will sic rabid Bruno on you!

TCL: (staring at rabid Bruno) Eh-heh-heh... (sweatdrops) Nice doggie...

Rabid Bruno: ARF! (growls ominously)

TCL: I'll never give you a raise, never!

Rabid Bruno: (eyes glow red and dashes over, inches away from TCL)

TCL: That is... What kind of a raise were you considering?

Karen: I knew you'd see things our way. See, we'd like a large raise...

Will: 10,000 at minimum!

(the Elites nod)

TCL: (sputters) _10,000?_ You must be insane!

Karen: You should talk.

TCL: W-what I mean is- I'm not that rich! You all are so NOT getting that big of a raise.

Karen: Raaabid Bruuuuuuno...

TCL: (major sweatdrop)NO! (flies off)

Elites: Then we're leaving! (stomp off)

Lance: Me too! If you're not gonna pay us, what's the point?

TCL: (takes out a chainsaw) I'll make them see the point. (evil grin)

[Notice that since the rating of the next scene will exceed the usual PG, so TCL wants to entertain you by creating a pointless diversion]

(we see Tracey and his sketchpad standing on a tree stump)

Priest: I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.

(Tracey kisses his sketchpad, but gives himself a nasty paper cut in the process)

Tracey: OWWWWWWWWWW! (runs off)

[Meanwhile]

Karen: Well, when you put it that way- (gulp)

TCL: AIADI must continue whether you like it or not! (suddenly frowns) Am I being mean to Karen and Will?

Lance: Uh-oh...

TCL: Oh! I'll give them a huge raise, but all of you can suffer- your paychecks are only going to be increased by 300! MUAHHAHAHAHA!

Lance: At least it's still a raise...

(suddenly Tracey runs by with a paper cut on his lip)

Tracey: AAAAAOWWWWWW! PLEASE HELP ME!

(suddenly, the original cast of Digimon runs on the set)

TCL: (goes nuts) WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? THIS IS A **POKEMON** FIC!

Tai: (points to Tracey, wide-eyed) Look, Agumon! It's a Bleedintraceymon! 

Izzy: Be careful! It can attack with a powerful ancient move called Pencil Stab!

Mimi: Watch out for its Paper Cut of Doom, one of the most deadly moves in the universe!

Matt: Approach with caution, or it might digivolve into Megatraceymon! 

Agumon: First we must destroy the evil sketchpad! (takes Tracey's sketchpad and Pepper-breaths it)

Tracey: NOOOOOO! HONEY! (starts sobbing) DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU JUST DID?

Agumon: YEP!

(Agumon digivolves into Greymon)

Greymon: (Nova-Blasts Tracey)

Tracey: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! (explodes into particles of data)

Digimon cast: (cheers)

(all Pokemon characters stare)

Joe: AAAAAAAH! THEY'RE SCARY! (runs off)

Will: These pests must be properly disposed of.

Lance: Yah.

~SOME TIME LATER~

(scene: The door of the Pokemon filming studio)

Lance: Why don't... (throws Tai out of the studio)

Koga: You kindly... (throws Matt out)

Karen: Get out... (throws Mimi out)

Will: OF THE POKEMON SECTION! (Throws Izzy out)

Authors: (throws everyone else out)

(they all slam the door)

Tai: Aw man, what did we do wrong?

Izzy: (gets wide-eyed) Maybe they are the evil Traceymon's henchmen, and are plotting to take over the fanfiction studio!

Matt: We must stop them!

(inside)

TCL: That was annoying.

Voice on loudspeaker: ALL POKEMON CHARACTERS IN STUDIO 6782C GET DOWN TO THE OFFICE. I REPEAT, ALL POKEMON CHARACTERS IN STUDIO 6782C GET DOWN TO THE OFFICE. OVER.

TCL: Hmm... I wonder who that is.

Yui: (checks studio #) TCL, Studio 6782C is AIADI's studio...

TCL: You don't say....?

Yui: (nots)

TCL: Mon dieu... (Oh my god...)

Lccorp2: (glares)

TCL: I wonder what we did wrong...

~OFFICE~

Tai: ha! It's a good thing we were able to defeat the FanFiction guards! Now we can stop the evil Traceymon's henchmen!

(what will become of our poor authors? Will the Digimon cast destroy them for being "allies" with the evil Traceymon???? Tune in next time to find out!)

A/N: Wheee. Guess what? That guy I hate, the one in the first A/N? He hired me as an "agent" to find things out about that girl and see if she likes him. I still haven't told him she hates him! *lol* XD


	41. Halloween Special

A/N: *gasp* You have just stumbled upon an extra-special episode of AIADI! Do you want to know why? CUZ IT'S HALLOWEEN, DUH! XP Do you know what I'm gonna be for Halloween? A brown-haired teenager staring at the computer screen who hands out the candy to everyone who knocks on the door and says "Trick or treat!" That's right, I'm not going trick-or-treating this year. I can't find a costume, plus the fact that I'm too tired *yawn* Oh well, I hope everyone else enjoys Halloween!   
UPDATE: **Ok, never mind, I'm going as a black widow witch! XD I AM THE QUEEN OF SPIDERS! BOW DOWN TO ME! *cackles* Too bad that I'm insanely terrified of spiders…**   
Disclaimer: HA! Thought I'd leave out the Disclaimer eh? No way! Lesse, who should I pick on this time…? (stares at the office assistant on Microsoft Word) Hey! It's Einstein!   
Einstein: Of how may I be of assistance?   
TCL: Do the disclaimer!   
Einstein: As you wish. Remember kids, this colossal scarlet reptilian sea-creature does not have possession of the TV show, game, and fad known as "Pokemon". She does however own this excerpt of writing, and the ability to change the office assistant.   
TCL: Which is exactly what I want to do.   
Einstein: It's about belated time. I have become mentally ill of gazing upon this 2-dimensional electronic screen.   
TCL: (changes the Microsoft Word Office assistant to the dog) DOGGIE!   
  
  
(First off, we see the Elites, Gym Leaders, and authors, looking like they're having fun at a Halloween Party, hosted by Karen in her gym)   
(Next we focus on a corner of Karen's gym, where Deffie, Disa, and May are floating in their little fairy forms)   
Deffie: (still in her angel outfit) Such a delightful party. Quite a shame it must be wasted on such a dreadful holiday.   
Disa: What? Halloween? It's the best day of the year! (serves herself another piece of cake)   
Deffie: I mean, the way these people talk Halloween is just about scaring little kids to death and taking their candy!   
Disa: What fun!   
Deffie: (Glares)   
May: I'm borrrredd…   
Deffie: Well, you could go eat some cake and cookies.   
May: Disa's hogging all the cake, and TCL is hogging all the cookies.   
Deffie: Go play that Halloween game that Morty, Yui, Falkner, and Sabrina are playing.   
May: It can only seat four players.   
Deffie: Hmm… You're right.   
(Disa grabs Deffie's halo and flies off with it)   
Deffie: Disa! Please give that back to me!   
Disa: NEVER, GEEK! YOU'LL HAVE TO CATCH ME FIRST!   
Deffie: (sigh) Excuse me May. I have a pest control problem. (flies off)   
May: Blaaaaaaaahh…   
(next we focus in on Karen in a cowgirl costume, holding up the radio)   
Karen: OK everyone! Next up is the Annual Halloween dance! Chose ya partners now!   
Chuck: (edges up to Jasmine) Heeyyy girlie… Wanna dance with meeeeeee? (burps)   
Jasmine: (slaps him) Not a chance. (storms off)   
Chuck: Wow! I think she likes me!   
(we focus on Lance)   
Lance: Errm… I haven't gotten anyone to dance with… (suddenly he gets an idea and walks over to Clair) Oh Clair?   
Clair: What?   
Lance: Ummm… erm… Wanna dance?   
Clair: …Errr…. Ok…   
(A/N: [screams at Karen/Lance shippers] TAKE THAT!)   
Karen: Now remember- I need to read the rules to you.   
Clair: RULES!?!?   
Lance: We're adults, Karen!   
Karen: (glares) Some of the authors are wee kids. We musn't scare them.   
Flower: Wee kids!?!   
Mewchu11: That's an insult!   
1: Disgraceful!   
2: Terrible!   
3: Horrible!   
4: Lie!   
5: Fib!   
6: Snide!   
7: Immature!   
8: Catastrophobic!   
9: EVIL!   
10: Braindead!   
TCL: None of us are kids! Well…. to be honest… (shifts around nervously) Hey, I'm almost 13 ok???   
Yui: In how long?   
TCL: Errmmm… Only 7 more months! : (   
Yui: o_0   
TCL: Is that my fault!??!   
Yui: I guess not.   
Karen: OK! SCRATCH THE RULES IDEA! Do whatever you want! (storms off)   
Koga: Hey Will…. Where's Bruno?   
Will: Who cares?   
(suddenly Bruno runs in, dressed in a ballerina outfit)   
Bruno: Lalalala, I'm a BEAUTIFUL pink ballerina; watch me twirl! WHEEEEE!   
Koga: I think Bruno has the scariest costume of us all.   
Will: Yeah, no kidding.   
Lance: (looks at his dragon costume) Scarier than mine?   
Will: Way.   
Lance: Darnit. (looks at Koga and Will) What are you guys supposed to be?   
Will: I'm a retarded scorpion wearing a Hogwarts cloak.   
Koga: I'm a blue rooster with silverware growing out of my head.   
Lance: ok, forget I asked.   
Clair: Come ON, Lance! Your extreme slowness is making me ill! (grabs him by the arm and leads him off)   
Will: What are you gonna do, Koga?   
Koga: Not dancing. I have daughter, therefore I am married, therefore I would not be able to dance without suffering terrible guilt and/or getting slapmarks from just about anyone.   
Will: Oh, ok. (sits on the bench) I'm bored. (Yawns) So very bored. (Sees Yui and Morty slow dancing in the center of the floor)   
Karen: (lies down on the couch, listening to the radio music)   
(suddenly Karen and Will see a female Persian running by, dragging Giovanni along by a leash)   
Esther: Wheeeeeee! Come on, Vanni! I wanna dance!   
Giovanni: With a Pokemon!?!   
Esther: Have it your way. (turns into her human self) Now dance with me!   
Giovanni: If I do, will I be spared the suffering of having the readers watch?   
Esther: Sure!   
Giovanni: Ok then.   
TCL: Lalala, this is a chapter where everybody's happy, lalala! Everyone is getting a well-deserved break! Yes, even the ones I hate! TCL's feeling extra happy and nice today!   
Tracey: (fingers his paper cuts) I'm not happy. (Cries)   
TCL: Well, maybe you might be the one exception…   
Tracey: That's injustice!   
TCL: But I can't go back on my word. (snaps her fingers, and Tracey is presented with enough pencils and paper to last a lifetime, and his paper cuts are magically healed)   
Tracey: I never thought I'd see the day! THANK YOU! (hugs the sketchpads)   
TCL: (muttering evilly to herself) I'll have lots of fun destroying all those gifts in later chapters where I'm not feeling so generous…   
(Suddenly TCL gets a phone call from a Tracey fan)   
TCL: Hello? This is TCL, in the flesh-   
Tracey Fan: STOP PICKING ON TRACEY YOU STUPID FREAK! I HATE YOUR GUTS! I THINK YOU SHOULD BE THROWN IN PRISON!   
TCL: I knew this would happen one day.   
Tracey Fan: YOU STINK! YOU REEK! AND YOU'RE JUST PLAIN UNCOOL!   
TCL: Silence infidel. (slams down the phone) ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! FOR THE NEXT 10 CHAPTERS I VOW TO BE NICER TO THE CHARACTERS WHOM I HAVE MISTREATED! (salutes)   
Yui: Good for you!   
TCL: It took a lot of endurance to say all that, believe me.   
Yui: … (continues dancing with Morty)   
TCL: (picks up a pumpkin) I forgot to carve my pumpkin. Oh well, I will fix that. (Crimson-Aeroblasts the pumpkin) Wheeee! (sees the carving in a perfect shape of a cookie) Wowie! (lights up the pumpkin and puts it by Karen's door)   
PyroVulpix: (snoring on the chair) (wakes up) Hey, what's going on?   
TCL: It's Halloween!   
PyroVulpix: (wide-eyed) ALREADY? I thought that was in five days!   
TCL: How long did you sleep?   
PyroVulpix: About 5 days.   
Lccorp2: There you go!   
Shadow: (looks around the area) Guys, do you want to go back to the Author's Lounge anytime soon?   
TCL: No, we're having fun.   
Shadow: I'm tired!   
Lccorp2: Tough!   
PyroVulpix: (yawns and falls back asleep)   
  
(And so the Halloween party continues… And it does all night, believe me!)   
Will: (sits up on the bench) This so boring! Everyone's been dancing for the last hour!   
Karen: What, do you want to or something?   
Will: You askin' me?   
Karen: Sure, why not?   
Will: Ermmm… Ok!   
  
  
A/N: YAAAAAAAAY!!! Karen/Will-ness at last! You knew I was going to sometime, eh? Hey, it was only a little bit, don't you dare get mad at me… And remember, TCL says happy Halloween! ^^ BTW, the only way I was able to write all this is because I typed it on my dad's computer and emailed it to mine. I can't open FF.Net on my dad's comp (security stuff) and the keyboard on my computer does work. The next chapter of AIADI may not come for a while because of this restriction. But I had to do something for Halloween. ^_^ 


	42. Pure MaDnEsS

A/N: GUESS, GUESS WHAT!!! I GOT A NEW KEYBOARD! *huggle* THIS NEW KEYBOARD JUST RULES! AND IT'S CORDLESS, SO I CAN'T ACCIDENTALLY PULL IT OUT! WHOOOOOTS! *dances* I'm SO happy! Well, maybe not entirely... We had band auditions today. Euphonium (the instrument I play) auditions were first, but then we had to wait 5 WHOLE HOURS OF NOTHINGNESS for the other instruments to finish X__X IT TOOK FOREVER! Oh well, I'm happy 'bout the keyboard...

Someone suggested a love potion chapter... Actually, to be honest I was thinking of a similar thing just the other day...

Oh yeah, this is continued from Episode 39. Episode 40 was just a one-day holiday thingie...

Tai: Here they come, everyone! You ready?

Sora: Ready!

Izzy: Affirmative!

Joe: Not ready! (hides in the trash can)

Mimi: Ready??? What will this involve? Will I break a nail???

Matt: bRING IT ON! hEY tcl, TURN OFF THE CAPS LOCK KEY WILL YOU??????

(sorry)

T.K.: Just hurry it up!

(the authors walk up to the office door, and swing it open)

Yui: All right, what do you want???

Kari: I don't know, what do we want guys?

Tai: (sweatdrop) We are here to end your evil doings! You are followers of the evil Traceymon, controller of the Black Pencils of doom!

TCL: Black pencils?

Tai: (nods) Four times more powerful then Black Gears, the control spires, and... every dark thing put together!

Sonicrazy: What do they do?

Tai: They...they... Oh, I can't say it, it's too awful...

Izzy: They erase the digimon with their evil eraser, and then redraw it into an evil version set on destroying the wor- Hey, you should know this already, being followers of Traceymon!

Yui: we're not followers of Tracey!

Lccorp2: Yeah. I don't know what the hell you're talking about...

TCL: Same here...

Matt: Dude, they aren't Traceymon's followers.

Tai: How do you know?

Matt: (hiding a book titled "TCL's Secret Plot Plans of AIADI" behind his back) I have my ways...

Tai: Hey, what do you have behind your back???

Matt: (takes out the book) According to this, we should be sucked in through a plot hole in about... 4 seconds.

Tai: That's such a lie- 

(Suddenly all the Digidestined vanish into this huge black supernova thing)

Authors: (blink) That was odd.

Joe: (still in the trash can) 

Shadow: Hey, is that trash can... Breathing!?!?

Joe: No one's home!

(The authors give each other tired looks)

TCL: (snatches Matt's copy of the secret plans book) Joe, according to my plot book your next assignment is to be carried away by a bunch of Dugtrio and thrown into a McDonalds restaurant.

Joe: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard...

(A bunch of Dugtrio come up, grab Joe by the ankles, and drag him away kicking and screaming)

TCL: (pockets the plot book) Muahahaha.

Lccorp2: Wierd... (stares out the window) AAAAAAAH! IT'S A NAKED BABY WITH WINGS! AND IT'S GOT A BOW AND ARROW!

TCL: Don't be silly. (stares out the window) (mutters) This wasn't in the script...

Shadow: AAAAAAAAAH! IT'S CUPID!

Cupid: Gaaaaaaaaah goooooooo! (throws a strange bottle in the window and flies off)

TCL: I wonder what it is... (looks up) Uh-oh.

(TCL sees a herd of Tauros stomping through the FF.Net studio. They smash the strange bottle, leaving its contents everywhere)

TCL: (shakes head twice) How strange.

Yui: I feel strange...

Lccorp2: So do I...

~FOUR HOURS LATER, WHEREVER KAREN IS~

Karen: I'm ready for the bill.

Waiter: Yes, right away mademoiselle. (hands her the bill)

Karen: (takes the bill) (Stares at it) 456,003 POKEBUCKS? I didn't eat that much!

Waiter: Oui oui, you ordered our Darkness Cuisine.

Karen: How much was it???

Waiter: it was made of Tyranitar skin, and Tyranitar are really rare-

Karen: (Screams) You didn't tell me that!

Waiter: Fufufufufufufu. Now pay.

Karen: No!

Waiter: PAY!

Karen: Grrr. (takes out her purse and forks out a couple bills) Uh-oh. I don't have enough.

Waiter: Then get enough!

Karen: (sigh) (takes out her cell phone) Hello? Can I get TCL on here, please? ...TCL? Hi. I'm willing to work some more, I need more cash. 

TCL: (on other side of phone) Justa minute... Come over, then.

Karen: Ok.

~FF.Net studio~

Karen: (Wide-eyed) Madness. Pure madness.

Lccorp2: (runs by) 

Dawn: (follows)

Karen: (blink)

Dawn: ^___^ Oh Umbberrry???

Lccorp2: AAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!! (runs away)

Karen: What's going on???

Lccorp2: (rushed voice) That potion...turned the girls... into FANGIRLS!

TCL: HEY GUYS! I'm going to go to the StarFox FF.Net studio to get Falcie's autograph!

Yui: I'm calling Morty!

Shadow: I'm talkin' to Sal!

Lccorp2: See what I mean???

Karen: Yeesh... That is a problem.

Esther: Not me. Me and Yui and some others too probably were already fan girls! Now I'm going to hunt down Giovanni... (dreamy look)

TCL: StarFox studios, here I come! (Exits)

Karen: This is terrible! I must stop this! (heads out)

~~~~

Karen: Do you know of an Anti-Fangirl potion?

Potion Maker Person: Yes. First you must gather me Lugia's feather, a Gyarados's scale, and the toenail of any person who has ever eaten tofu at 5:23 AM.

Karen: That's hard.

Potion Maker Person: Or, you can just call Ugpid, Cupid's evil twin brother! 

Karen: Ugpid?

Potion Maker Person: You've never heard the story? Good heavens! See, all the stories you hear about Cupid are most likely false. The real story is that one day the wife of a priest had twins. One was cute, so she named it Cupid. The other one... well... was seriously deformed... so she named it Ugpid. The priest hated Ugpid and angrily threw him in the air on a thunderstorm one afternoon, where a bolt of lightning hit Ugpid and he was transformed into a winged person! The priest did that to Cupid too, and soon both his sons were winged people... One day Cupid fell in love. On that same day Ugpid stopped a wedding and made everyone cry. The next day they got these arrows. Cupid's were good and Ugpid's were bad. Cupid flies around in the clouds now.

Karen: Where's Ugpid?

Potion Maker Person: He works as a janitor for a small car company in New Jersey.

Karen: Oh.

~BACK AT THE STUDIO~

(Lccorp2, Giovanni, and Falco are nervously backed against the wall. Dawn, Esther, and TCL gain on them)

Lccorp2: We're dead.

Giovanni: Good-bye, world domination and leadership of Team Rocket!

Falco: FOX, SAVE ME!!!!!!!

TCL: Nothing can save you now!

Esther: NOTHING!

Dawn: Not even-

(suddenly an ugly baby in a dirty diaper flies in)

Ugpid: UGPID THE MIGHTY!

TCL: X_X You mean Ugpid the Stinky! 

Dawn: When was the last time you changed your diaper, kid?

Ugpid: (evil grin) I have never changed my diaper.

TCL: AAAAAAAAAH!

Dawn: AAAAAAAAAAH!

Ugpid: ...Because I get my SERVANTS to do it for me!

TCL: Oh.

Dawn: That's a relief. We thought you meant.... something else.

TCL: ...Yeah.

Ugpid: And now, I will wave my magic wand (waves a suspicious looking brown, mushy, and smelly stick in the air) and you will all will go back to normal!

~BANG POOF WALLAWALLA BINGBONG SCREECH HISS FLASH~

TCL: What happened? Oh, where were we? (huggles Falco)

Esther: Let's resume. (huggles Giovanni)

Dawn: (blink) It looks like I'm the only one cured. (Walks away)

Lccorp2: Thank goodness.

Ugpid: The reason behind that is because Esther and TCL were already fangirls before Cupid did that thing to 'em.

Dawn: Oh.

Karen: Now pay me, and hurry up!

TCL: Whatever you say, Karen!!! (pays her lots of money)

Karen: Yay! Oh, and TCL? Since you have control of the fic, there's this one restaurant I'd like to vanish into the emptiness of a plot hole...


	43. Merciless Sanity

The spotlights blare. From behind the stage, a mammoth sea creature stumbles around aimlessly, then suddenly points to a sleek Espeon who is hiding in the corner.

"Dawn!" She cries. "We have to do the Disclaimer, remember?"

Dawn the Espeon gives The Crimson Lugia a look of displeasure, and grumpily tramples on stage in front of the confused audience. TCL urges her on, while sitting in the corner listening to the janitors complain to her about leaving cookie crumbs on the floor of the FanFiction studio.

Dawn begins her routine she long since picked up from Eskimo Jolteon. "TCL does not own-" She stops in mid-sentence. Something isn't right. The Espeon looks both ways. The studio seems just like it had yesterday. She shrugs and continues. "-Pokemon, but she does own this fic and all its contents."

TCL glides over to Dawn, and rewards her Disclaimer efforts with a Milano cookie from the bag she was constantly devouring. Dawn shrugs and swipes the cookie away while taking her seat backstage.

TCL expects to hear the lively audience, but instead hears a dreadful silence. She peeks her head around the curtains, and sees some people confused, some bored, and some asleep. She decides perhaps she waited a bit too long to post the next chapter and people might've forgotten about AIADI already. Though the young Middle-Schooler with the Pokemon alter ego disliked the strange quiet in the room, she decided to continue with routine. The audience barely reacted when they saw the author strut on stage.

"Hello, everybody!" TCL says, lacking her normal insane personality. Now the audience is really confused, and continues giving each other amazed glances. Has TCL really been cured from craziness?

"I'm here today to bring to you the next episode of AIADI." No sign of true craziness yet.

"AIADI is of course the only place where you can see blue stop signs 24/7." Ok, never mind.

The audience glances around, wondering why energetic, hyper comedian-styled TCL was now this nervous, unsure creature that stared at the clock every few minutes.

"OK. Without further ado, I bring you Episode 42!" She waves at the stage, but nothing happens.

"I said, I bring you Episode 42!" She waves at the stage in frustration, but still nothing happens.

Someone from the FanFiction staff gets up from the audience and hands TCL a small sheet of paper. Even more puzzled, TCL reads it.

"So," she mused. "While lacking insanity, insane fics will be deactivated until insanity is regained by the proper author? What, do they actually think I'm sane?"

Shadow jumps up from the audience, staring. "YOU SAID THE S-WORD!"

TCL stares at Shadow. "No I didn't."

"You know." She continues. "The, four-letter S-word..."

TCL stomps her foot. "I didn't say the four letter s-word, dangit!"

"Yes you did!"

"Write it down; I'm not sure if you mean the s-word I'm thinking of."

Shadow is very, very confused now. Every FanFiction author who was insane had to abide by the official Insane Author rules: To agree to live in the Author's Lounge at times, to never insult green tricycles with horns, and to never, EVER say the S-word- and everyone knew what the S-word is.

Shadow gulps. "S-sane." She stutters. "That is the s-word."

TCL stares at her. "Sane is not the official S-word." She announces. "It's not even a bad word!" She turns and faces the audience. "SANE! SANE! SANE!"

The insane portion of the audience screams and covers their ears and/or runs away. Shadow ran to the phone and called the asylum. 

"GUYS! TCL'S CRAZY CUZ SHE'S NOT CRAZY!" Shadow screams to the authors, who were well aware of it by this point.

Psychogyarados puts down the can of gasoline he was gulping down wildly and stares at Shadow. "Say what?"

"This is terrible!" Yui shouts. "TCL may have caught the S-disease! Maybe it's contagious! Maybe we'll be next!"

This brings many more screams and panic from the insane audience. TCL wonders how a quiet evening of performing the next part of her fic could cause such mayhem. 

Lccorp2 shivers and runs around the rows of seats in the audience frantically. "We're all gonna be sane! We're all gonna be sane! And I'd rather die!"

"I wonder what could be causing this." PyroVulpix yawns calmly.

"How can you just lie there???" Yui yells at him.

"Easy. I lay my legs down here and get in this tired position, close my eyes and-"

"Didn't you hear? We're all going to be SANE soon!"

That gets him. PyroVulpix sits upright, and stares at her. "Yui, watch your language!"

"But it's true!" She goes on, desperately. 

Pyro shakes his head nonbelievingly. "I think I'm going to faint..." A few seconds later, he falls to the floor with a thud. 

Yui looks around at the other authors. "We've got to get rid of TCL's sanity and give AIADI its old format back!"

Lccorp2 looks up from where he was cowering in the corner, contemplating whether he should take a chance or drown himself in chlorinated bleach. "Well, ok..."

Psychogyarados slithers toward the open door. "Let's go, then! Who's coming?"

DClick and Esther look at each other, shrug, and head toward the door with Psycho. Lccorp2 hesitantly joins. PyroVulpix is still a fainted heap on the floor, and TCL is doing her homework. (Scary...)

Yui looks in through the doorway, to see Mewchu11 join them along with Mewchus 1-10 and Flower Powerer. She lets everyone through the door, then slams and locks it shut to prevent TCL from coming out and wrecking sane havoc on everything in the Insane section- Insanity is very delicate, and the tiniest inch of sanity is deadly. She hopes Pyro won't get mad at her later for locking him in with a sane person, but if all went well he wouldn't wake up anytime soon. Yui marches off with the other authors.

After leaving the FanFiction studio, the Indigo Plateau is the first stop. The Elite Four know nothing, but are rather pleased that AIADI is undergoing this strange temporary transformation since they don't have to work.

We move away from the authors while they wonder about the problem, and focus in on a small FF.Net studio...

"Math Homework is such fun." TCL thinks to herself. This rather disturbing thought awakens PyroVulpix, and he runs around the room in panic.

"NOOOOOOOOO! I'M GONNA BE SANE!" He screams. Then he realizes TCL has a bag of cheese nips on the table. Pyro loves cheese nips. He swipes them and devours them- shortly afterwards he is snatched by TCL.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?" TCL demanded. "YOU IS EATING MUH SNACKS, AND AIN'T NOBODY ALLOWED TO DO THAT!" She Crimson-Aeroblasts Pyro, then stares down at her homework. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS MY HOMEWORK DOING IN FRONT OF ME???"

PyroVulpix: I have no idea...

TCL: Homework! The horror! (snatches her homework and burns it)

PyroVulpix: Hey! Look! You're insane again!

TCL: o_0 What do you mean?

PyroVulpix: Maybe when you're older. You're too young to handle the thought right now.

TCL: (jokingly) What? Did I turn sane or something? That'd be the worst thing ever...

PyroVulpix: Like I said... I have the right to remain silent... (wonders off)

~SOMEWHERE~

Yui: We've asked everyone, but no one knows the cure for sanity.

Shadow: Hey Yui, what happened to the mass amounts of descriptive words?

Psychogyarados: It means TCL is insane again!

Yui: HURRAH! LET'S GO AND CELEBRATE!

~BACK AT THE STUDIO~

TCL: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I WAS SANE??? (faints)

A/N: Do not ask... 


	44. E4, Interesting as Always

A/N: Lol. I hope I scared a lot of you with the last chappie. 8-) I even scared myself... Right after I wrote that I had nightmares that night...

Disclaimer: (muffled laughter) MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (drags out Falco from StarFox on a leash) Here is our new Disclaimer guest!

Falco: ...Help?

TCL: Well Mr. Birdie (huggle) will you pretty pleeeeeeasssee do the disclaimer??

Falco: ?

TCL: Do the disclaimer or I'll GLOMP YOU! (threatening fangirl face)

Falco: Why me. Waaaaaaaaaaaahh...

TCL: Pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaseee???

Falco: Oh, fine. TCL does not own Pokemon, nor does she own StarFox, both of which are rightfully owned by Nintendo. She also does not own this method of doing the disclaimer, as she has mentioned in previous chapters. She does however own this fic and all its contents. 

TCL: I also own my obsession for Falco!

Falco: You really expected me to say that? Sheeeshh...

(today, we find the Elite Four- being their entertaining, comical selves)

Will: ...

Koga: ...

Bruno: ...

Karen: ...

Lance: ...

(Yup, that's them all right)

...

(silence)

(Will sneezes)

(Koga yawns)

(Karen turns on the TV)

(Lance changes the channel)

(Bruno eats a muffin)

Bruno: Gobblygoop.

(no one reacts)

(As we focus in on our heroes, somewhere far [and I mean **far**] away, a far less interesting scene is taking place...)

Skipper: So tell me again, how is this supposed to get us off the island?

Professor: (Goes into huge, detailed speech about the sun's rays)

Skipper: ...Never mind. Gilligan? We need the radio.

Gilligan: (grabs the radio protectively) NO SKIPPER! It's in the middle of my favorite broadcast!

Skipper: We NEED it!

Radio: We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a special bulletin. A huge sea current possibly caused by some giant Pokemon is about to reach the location of the island the GI cast is stuck on!

All: ?!?!?!?!

Radio: This is the only info we have on the location, as TCL has no idea where this island is really located and it would be inaccurate in her wierdo fic.

TCL: (bursts out of the water) SURPRISE!

All: AAAAAAAAAH!

TCL: I'm only here to rescue muh favorite characters from this island.

Skipper: Yay! We're saved!

TCL: (glare) You're not one of my favorites, fatty. 

Skipper: :(

TCL: The Howls (Sp?) also stay here. I don't like them very much. I like everyone else, because Mary Ann and Ginger are fellow girls, Gilligan's a dummy like me, and the professor... I don't know, but we'll bring him along anyway.

(TCL flies away from the island)

TCL: This adds you four to the random guest appearances list!

Gilligan: AAAAAAAH! Is that bad?

TCL: No.

Mary Ann: It means we might appear in the fic from time to time.

Gilligan: Is that bad?

Mary Ann: It depends.

Gilligan: O.O

~SCENE SWITCH~

Will: Blah.

(Lance blinks)

(Karen steals a muffin from Bruno)

(Koga starts to yawn in slow motion)

(Bruno smells his right foot, then falls off the couch, asleep [actually, he passed out from the odor...])

~SCENE SWITCH~

DClick: Is this your card? (holds up the ace of hearts)

Lccorp2: (long, demented yawn) Noooooo.

DClick: Well... Is this your card? (holds up a two of spades)

Lccorp2: No-

Yui: (elbows him in the ribs)

Lccorp2: I mean- yes, that is my card. Let's play something else now.

DClick: WAIT! I can do more fun games!

Yui: I'm going off with Morty. Have fun, guys.

(TCL walks in with the Gilligan's Island cast [Except the skipper and the Howls, duh])

TCL: I'm treating some of my favorite characters to the delights of the author's lounge! Well, Gilligan and Mary Ann are my first favorites, and the professor and Ginger are my second favorites. The professor is... I don't know, he used to be one of my first favorites but not anymore, and Ginger- she'd be one of my top favorites if she didn't have one response for everything.... If there's a problem, she always flirts with the problem. 'Nuff said. And do you know why I don't like the Skipper-

Lccorp2: (tired and grouchy) WE DON'T CARE!

TCL: (quiet and timid voice) Cuz he's fat. And mean. And rude.

Lccorp2: (wacks her over the head with a frying pan) Blabble one more time and I hurt you...

TCL: Oh, je regrette... [Sorry]

Lccorp2: GAAH! (wacks her over the head with the first thing he gets a hold of, which happens to be a dish washer o_0)

TCL: OOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!

Dawn: (walks in) Lemme join the fun! (takes out a broom) This is for making me do the disclaimer! (thwacks TCL with the broom)

(massive TCL-bashing ensues)

Gilligan: These author people sure are violent.

Mary Ann: When did you figure that out?

Gilligan: Just now. 

Mary Ann: *sigh*

~SCENE SWITCH~

(we see Giovanni huddling in a dark, secluded corner)

Giovanni: Must stay away from Esther... After all, characters are never supposed to show feelings for fangirls... (shiver)

(Yui walks up)

Yui: What about me and Morty?

Giovanni: what about you?

Yui: I'm fangirl. He character. We both happy. (glomps Morty)

Giovanni: I suppose.

Esther: HEYA GIO! (runs up and hops up and down in front of Giovanni)

Giovanni: (sigh) Oh well ^_^

~SCENE SWITCH~

TCL: (wakes up) **_Owwwwwww. _**(finds that she is covered in bumps and bruises) Major owie. I feel so unwuved ;_;

Dawn: There, now who's gonna do your Disclaimer eh?

TCL: Not you... X_X

Lccorp2: That's right! Leave Dawn alone!

TCL: You're both so wierd...

Shadow: (walks in) Poor TCL. Oh well. (gets an idea) (leaves)

TCL: Shadow...!!! Someone! X_X

(Shadow comes back in, dragging Falco by a leash) 

TCL: (somehow her injuries magically heal) FALCIEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Mr. Birdie, hurrah! You have come to see me in my moment of illness! (huge glomp)

Falco: AAAH! No, she dragged me here! I wanna go back the StarFox studios!

TCL: Suuuuure you do. Why not just stay here with me?

Falco: (pitiful whimper)

~SCENE SWITCH~

Lance: (watching TV)

Koga: (watching TV)

Will: (watching TV)

Karen: (watching TV)

Bruno: (also watching TV)

Narrator: And here are our good ole Elite Four, once again bringing us the entertainment you can only get by reading AIADI!

Will: Shut up! I can't here the TV! (throws a watermelon at the narrator)

Narrator: Leave me alone!

A/N: FALCIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	45. AIADI Returns

A/N: Yes, I know I haven't updated in FOREVER! Well, wait no longer! AIADI IS BACK! 

Disclaimer: Since I appear to have gotten over my Falco obsession (maybe...) I'll bring Leon Powalski out to do the disclaimer! Leon's from StarWolf.

(TCL runs backstage. Muffled cries of "HEY!" are heard and she emerges dragging Leon out on a leash)

Leon: I don't think I'm in the StarFox Fanfiction studio anymore...

TCL: (sarcastically) Wow, really? 

Leon: ...Release me at once!

TCL: First ya gotta do the disclaimer!

Leon: I ain't doin' no stinkin' disclaimah...

TCL: Yes you are! Otherwise I'll keep you here in the Pokemon studio FOREVER! (cackles evilly)

Leon: Meep. Ok, TCL does not own... what's it called again? Pacman? Pokeme?

TCL: POKEMON!

Leon: Oh. TCL does not own Poke-a-mon, nor does-

TCL: IT'S P-O-K-E-M-O-N, FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!

Leon: WHATEVER! TCL does not own whatever-it-is-called, nor does she own me or StarFox. She also doesn't own the authors, and she's glad she doesn't.

TCL: I do however own the fic and the fact that if anyone decides to impale me on a butter knife for not updating, I can stick you in the next chapter and have the characters make you beg for mercy!

Leon: Can I go now?

TCL: Yeah. 

(Leon exits, grumbling)

(We focus in on the deserted author's lounge, where TCL is sitting at a desk, alone, and sorting out various papers)

TCL: Grumble... no more insanity fics lately, grumble... all other authors haven't posted in a while, grumble... I'm all alloooooooooneeeeee, grumble....

(TCL is looking at her mail, cursing Falkner. See, Falkner sued her for keeping him locked in a closet on Las Paditos since Chapter 28)

TCL: Grumble... Neopets server down, grumble... little sister babbles too much, grumble...

TCL's annoying sister: (runs in) GIMME THE COMPTUER!

TCL: (thwacks head repeatedly on keyboard) _Unghghn..._

TCL's annoying sister: **GIVE!!!**

TCL: (death-glares sister) **_Unghghg..._**

TCL's annoying sister: **_GIVE IT OR I'M TELLING!!!_**

TCL: (Crimson-Aeroblasts sister)

TCL's annoying sister: OWWW! MOMMMYYYY!!! (runs off)

TCL: (cackles)

~SCENE SWITCH~

Shadow: (stands outside the Author's lounge staring at random people) (sees a little girl with ice cream) You gonna eat that?

Little Girl: (screams in horror and runs away)

Shadow: (shrugs)

Lccorp2: We've been standing here for half an hour and so far 59 people have walked by with ice cream cones! What's with the sudden rush of ice cream?

Shadow: Dunno, but I'm positive there's someone out there who's willing to share. (sees a fat guy walk by with a pile of ice cream half a mile high) Hey, mister!

Fat dude: What?

Shadow: You gonna eat that?

Fat dude: (burps) I licked it already but you can have the rest.

Shadow: ...On second thought, you keep it. X_X

Fat dude: (walks off)

Yui: (checks watch) Where's Morrtttyyyy? He said he'd arrive here 10 minutes ago! :( 

Lccorp2: And I have a meeting with Miyamoto and the people in Japan telling them to kill off Ash in the TV series!

DClick: So do I, but I'm on Ash's defense!

Lccorp2: WHERE ARE THEY!?

(suddenly a giant red beetle walks by)

DClick: Wow, look... A giant... red... beetle thingie...

Lccorp2: (crushes it)

(And so, Lccorp2 just savagely ends their last form of entertainment! BWAHAHAHA!)

Yui: (horror movie scream) 

Lccorp2: Oh, shut it. -_-

(they continue standing there)

~ELSEWHERE~

Will: (walks into TCL's dirty, dusty, smelly AIADI studio) UGH. It looks like this place hasn't been cleaned in AGES!

Karen: (sweeping mountains of dust of the floor) that's because it HASN'T. I refuse to work in these conditions!

Koga: I want my lawyer!

Bruno: ...And I want my carpenter! (cries)

(all ignore Bruno)

Lance: (sigh) ah well. At least we get paid.

Karen: (coughs) and no matter how much time goes by, we'll never get any older until Nintendo officially says so ^-^ TCL, however...

Lance: She's STILL 12.

Karen: really? It's been so long...

TCL: (parades in) OK, guys! Glad to see you're all alive and well. XD

Karen: ...Uh-huh... Hey, haven't you ever heard of maid service?

TCL: (noticing extreme amount of dirt and dust in studio) wellllll...

Lance: OK. Wouldya mind explaining WHY AIADI took a hiatus?!

TCL: (big, cheesy, stupid grin) (points to T-Shirt [that can somehow fit a Lugia o0;;] that says "STARFOX RULES") 

Lance: (sigh) Just when I thought we had ourselves a loyal fan...

TCL: Hey, I'm the one working on the fic all right? How long has it been...? 

Karen: Oh, only THREE MONTHS!!!!

TCL: ...Ah. Just makin' sure. 

Will: at the VERY LEAST TCL's gotten over her ultra-annoying Falco obsession.

TCL: (nods nervously) Y-yup! I have... gotten... over... Falco...

Karen: Don't give us that! (walks over to TCL's closet)

TCL: ...DON'T OPEN THAT!

Karen: Too late! (opens closet and tons of Falco merchandise falls out) 

TCL: (looks around room nervously) ...OK... No one saw that. (stuffs all Falco things back in her closet and locks it) 

Lance: (sighs) Wow, you're committed.

TCL: What's that supposeta mean???

Lance: Errm... To be honest, I dunno, it just sounded cool.

TCL: (long, demented sigh)

Will: (groans) We're not getting anything done...

~ELSEWHERE THAT EXCEEDS THE PREVIOUS ELSEWHERE~

Random Person #1: c'mon, let's watch TV!

Random Person #2: Lesse if AIADI's been filmed yet!

Random Person #3: OK!

(they turn on TV. A scene of mass mayhem ensues on the screen)

TCL: FOR THE LAST TIME... THIS STUDIO IS MINE!!!!!

Fanfiction maintenance person: (automatic voice) Sorry, but your fic has been inactive for a time period of over 2 months. As so, you lose all legal possessions to this particular fanfiction studio. Have a nice day.

TCL: LEMME IN!!!! 

Will: (tugs on TCL's wing) Can't we PLEASE get a nice, CLEANER studio now?

Koga: One without spiders and cookie crumbs?

Bruno: And dust?

Karen: And dirt?

Lance: And musty smell?

TCL: GRAH! No, I have become attached to that studio! I must reclaim it!

Fanfiction maintenance person: (automatic voice) We apologize for the inconvenience. Perhaps you can go to the lobby and enjoy one of our Crunchy Cheese Delights, made from REAL strawberries!

TCL: SHUT THE HECK UP AND LEMME IN MY STUDIO! (Crimson-Aeroblasts Fanfiction Maintenance person)

FMP: (squeaking, messed-up automatic voice) We are sorry you are having a bad time. _Fizzzzzzzle_ For more information on -SQUEAK- GRAHM CRACKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!- Call 2039r395u93u5-3! (voice speeds up tremendously) We apologize - we apologize - we apologize - we apologize-

Will: Erm o0;; (pokes FMP)

Karen: This guy's a broken record!

Lance: Are you sure he ain't mechanical?

(Fanfiction maintenance person makes indescribable squeaking noises and explodes)

Will: ...Errrmm.... OH WELL!

(TCL and the E4 re-enter FF.Net studio)

Random Person #2: ...Dude, turn on the 'toons!

Random Person #1: Yup... Definitely.... o0;;

Deffie: (appears) Did someone call me?

Random Person #1: ...No.

A/N: ...I know that chapter stunk to no end. But hey! I haven't made a new chapter in... what was it again? 3 months? So, yeah. I'm no good at this anymore ;_;


	46. Ode to Bruno

(it's very early in the morning. The birds sing their songs of joy. Bruno sits up in bed, and rubs his eyes)

Bruno: (happily) it's going to be a wonderful day. (wisely) I can sense it. (closes his eyes in delight)

(Bruno does all his morning things and walks downstairs)

(Will is playing video games with Koga)

Bruno: (tips his imaginary hat) Hello, dearest Will and Koga! How are you gentlemen today?

Will: (coughs repeatedly) ....WHAT?!?

Koga: ...

Bruno: (giggles hyperly and walks into the next room)

(Karen is sitting at her desk, writing something. She sees Bruno walk in, growls lowly and covers the paper with her hand) Whaddaya want?

Bruno: Hello, lovely Karen! You're looking fabulous today!

Karen: (shrieks) ACK!

...

(Bruno emerges from Karen's room, slapped but unhurt)

Bruno: Yey! What a totally wonderful day! 

(Bruno looks around, but he can't find Lance anywhere. Instead, it's totally quiet. He searches around for anyone else for hours)

Bruno: (cries out) Where is everyone!?! (opens another door)

(Will, Karen, Koga, and Lance are assembled like a choir on one end of the room) 

W/Ka/Ko/La: Hello, Bruno!

Bruno: Why, hello! ^_^ (waves)

Will: Wanna hear a song?

Karen: We made it up!

Lance: It's dedicated to _you_.

Bruno: (sobs) I feel so special!

Koga: It's your special day, then!

All: Oooooh... 

BRUNO! BRUNO! How we love to squish your guts!

BRUNO! BRUNO! Let's go kick you in the nuts!

BRUNO! BRUNO! Life would never be same,

BRUNO! BRUNO! If we didn't have you to maime!

(Will, Karen, Lance, and Koga grab mallets and chase after Bruno, who now knows what is going on)

Bruno: STOP! STOP! Whatever did I do?!

Lance: Exist.

Karen: C'mon, minions! Lettt'sss gett'um! 

All: YAAAAAAH!

Bruno: WAAAAAAAAAHH!!!! (runs)

All: (music starts up) OOOOOH..

BRUNO! BRUNO! Let's go chase you up a tree!

BRUNO! BRUNO! After that we'll break your knee!

BRUNO! BRUNO! We'll stuff you in Will's chimney!

BRUNO! BRUNO! You're so useful, don't you see?

(Karen catches up to Bruno and snatches him)

Karen: AHAHA! It's time for our fun! 

Will: Why MY chimney???

Koga: (pats Will on the head) Poor Willy.

Will: I thought this chapter was dedicated to torturing BRUNO!?!?!

(there is a random POOF, and Link appears, wielding his Megaton Hammer)

Link: (looks around rapidly) Where'd Volvagia go?!?

Lance: Who cares! Come on! 

(Will, Koga, Karen, Lance AND Link stuff Bruno in Will's chimney and take turns beating up on him)

Bruno: WAAAAAAAAAH! What did I do wrong?!?!

W/Ko/Ka/La: (music starts up again) OOOOOOOOOHH...

Link: WAAAAAITT!!! I don't know the words!

Will: Learn 'em. (hands Link the script)

Link: (relieved) Thanks.

All: OOOOOOOOOOOHHH...

BRUNO! BRUNO! The best punchbag on the Earth!

BRUNO! BRUNO! Soon we'll be waiting for your rebirth!

BRUNO! BRUNO! Soon you're going to go BOOM!

BRUNO! BRUNO! With our bombs of impending doom!

Will: Bombs?

Karen: Link, give us the bombs.

Link: Oook. (hands over some bombs)

Karen: (grabs bombs and sets them by the tied-up Bruno) 

W/Ko/Ka/La/Li: (covers ears)

Bruno: Moo?

KABOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!

Burnt ashes, the only remnant of Bruno (BATOROB): ...MY EARS! I think I've gone deaf!

W/Ko/Ka/La/Li: (stare) (blink) (stare) ...Eh?

BATOROB: What? (notices that he is a pile of soot) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! 

All: OOOOOOOOOOOOHHH...

BRUNO! BRUNO! We see you lying there!

BRUNO! BRUNO! Disintegrated into air!

BRUNO! BRUNO! We will clone your very ashes!

BRUNO! BRUNO! Soon we will have many stashes!

Link: (blink) Why? 

Karen: (looks at Link skeptically) The more ashes, the more Bruno!

Lance: The more Bruno, the more FUN!

Will: Duh.

Link: (hits himself) Of course! Sorry.

(there is another random POOF, and Peppy Hare and Casper the ghost appear)

Casper: (stupidly) I'm a friendly ghost!

Peppy: (spontaneously combusts)

Casper: (screams) DUST MITES! (eats himself)

BATOROB: (to Lance, Koga, Karen, and Will) What are you waiting for, guys? Revive me! I thought I was your friend!

(dramatic music)

Karen: ...Well...

Will: (darkly) you thought... WRONG.

(spotlight falls on Bruno. Horrible violin music plays)

BATOROB: (gasp) (horror movie scream) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKK!!! NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-

Lance: (thwacks Bruno) Shuddup! This is our musical thus dedicated to torturing you and you're ruining it! (sniffles) You... meanie...!

BATOROB: (sobs) Ooh Lance... I'mmm... sooooo... sorrrrrryyyyyyyy!!! (continues to sob)

Peppy: (supportive hug)

Lance: ...(blink) Didn't Peppy spontaneously combust?

Peppy: (mysteriously) I was REINCARNATED. (maniacally) Hehe. HEHEHE. He. HEHEHEHEE. 

Yzma: Pull the lever, Kronk.

Kronk: (pulls lever)

Peppy: (falls in)

Alligators: (eats Peppy)

(Lance runs up to his throne which magically materializes out of nowhere and starts shouting)

Lance: THIS INSANITY MUST STOP! We're supposed to be torturing BRUNO! (looks around at everyone)

Will: (sitting on the floor, looking at a bug)

Karen: (eating a sandwich)

Koga: (on the phone)

BATOROB: (sobbing over the memory of Peppy, his only friend)

Link: (slaying a random Dodongo)

Lance: (rolls eyes) Why do I even try... OK, I'll continue this fic by myself! JUST YOU WATCH ME! (glares menacingly)

Kronk: (dumbly) Duhhhh. (pulls another lever)

Lance: (getting sucked into a plot hole) WHAT THE H- (plot hole pulls him in and vanishes)

Will: (stands up suddenly) MUFFINS! (grabs the bug on the floor and launches it at Koga)

Koga: (screams like a little girl) EEEEEEEEK! (runs around in circles)

Will: (cackles)

(BATOROB/Bruno gets mysteriously reincarnated. So does Peppy, but now he is a yellow carrot with glowing purple wings)

Bruno: (claps hands like an amused toddler) Yey!

Peppy: SNARK! (explodes)

Bruno: NO! (sobs)

Koga: (gets a hold of himself) YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THAT, WILLIAM! (launches himself at Will) 

Will: AIIYEEE!

(Will and Koga get swallowed by a tornado and blown to Wisconsin and beyond)

Karen: (eyes glaze over) this world is my playground. My backyard is my cheese. Soon this world will belong to me and everyone shall bow down to KAREN... RULER OF THE UNIVERSE. 

Ganondorf: (excitedly) (squeals like a girl) Let's totally have a tea party!

Link: (hiccups) Ittt's a small world affftter all... *hic* Brruuunnooo! BruNO! How... we... love... to... eat... your... flesh... (collapses)

(much screaming and insanity ensues)

Kronk: College.... Tasty cheese nips. (licks his lips)

Yzma: WROONNNGGG LEVAHHHHHHHH!!! (picks her nose)

Lance: (head vaporizes out of thin air) THIISSS ISSS INSAANNNNNEEEEE...

(TCL opens the door and peeks in)

(everyone is silent)

TCL: ....Issssssss everyone doing all right in here? (blinks)

Kronk: Fine. Just fine. (nods)

Devil Kronk: Whatever. (brushes his teeth)

Angel Kronk: CHIPS AHOY! A THOUSAND CHIPS DELICIOUS! ...Na-bis-co! DING!

TCL: ...Aren't you supposed to be in the Emperor's New Groove section? 

Kronk: (innocently) No!

TCL: (to Yzma, who is still picking her nose) And YOU, wrinklehead! GET BACK IN THE CARTOONS CATEGORY OR I'LL RIP YOUR-

Lance: (coughs LOUDLY) AHEM!? Watch your language, TCL.

TCL: (blushes) Oh... right. (waves at screen) Sorrryyyyyyyyy!

(much silence, except for the mangled cries of Bruno and the quiet hiccuping of Link who mysteriously got high off of oxygen)

TCL: What happened to you, Link...?!

Link: (hiccups) ...I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I... Thought I could I thought I could I thought I could! UNDER THE SEA! UNDER THE SEA! (hiccups again) (squeaky voice) Hi! My name is Ganondorf and I'm just so totally awesome!

Ganondorf: (squeals) Hey, that's ME!

TCL: ..................................I've got to go do my homework now. (leaves)

Lance: NOOOOOOOO! DON'T LEAVE ME WITH THE FREAKS! (has a coughing fit)

Will: (frolics in the imaginary grass) X-D

Koga: (eats the review button) Chocolate paper clips... Yum.


	47. Just a Little Volleyball

DISCLAIMAH TIME!

TCL: Hellllooo! It's summertime and I have nothing to do. I decided to pass the time by writing more AIADI, even though it's kind of a forgotten fic that no one reads anymore. Today's special disclaimer guest is… LARS RODRIGUEZ!

Lars: (gets dragged out of thin air) What the…?!

Narrator: Lars is a very special guest because he has (unintentionally) ended TCL's Falco obsession once and for all! 

Lars: (sarcastically) Lucky me.

TCL: I know you don't know why you're here, so all you have to do is read out loud from this handy dandy nifty script that I conveniently pulled out of nowhere. (hands him a copy of THE SCRIPT)

Lars: Gotcha. (reading aloud) The crimson dork does not own anything, anything at all, except for the contents of this fic and her few miserable possessions mostly including electronic gaming platforms. She also does not own me, fortunately for myself. 

TCL: (to audience) But someday I WILL buy him.

Lars: (searches himself for a price tag) …?!?!?!  0_o

~*~*~

(It's a beautiful summer, as always. The Elite Four carry out their yearly tradition of a beach volleyball tournament between themselves and the authors. Today, we have Will and Koga on one team, while TCL [The Crimson Lugia] and Yui (Corrector9Yui) serve on the other)

Lance: (sitting up high on a lifeguard-style chair) Come on, Koga, spike it! …Way to go! Oh, here comes payback from Yui! OOOH that's gotta hurt! Oh, and here comes Will to save the day! Can he make it? ….Nooo he misses! One point for the authors! Uh-huh, go Yui!

Will: (brushes himself off) Are you permanently biased against me or something?

Lance: You could say that. Now, it's the author's serve! Go get 'em!

TCL: (tosses ball into the air and bumps it with her head, since her huge flipper/wings are near useless at hitting the ball) 

Lance: (keeping up his annoying commentary) BOOYEAH! Can Koga spike it, or can he SPIKE IT!?!? He is GOOD! Ya! Have you ever seen a more amazing-

Will: (snatches the ball out of midair) OK Lance, they won. Happy now?

Yui: (she did practically everything) YEAH! We won!

TCL: (yawning) We did? …Oh. (immediately starts to snore)

Yui: Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Go uss! Go usss! Go-

TCL: (out cold, drooling in her sleep)

Yui: (blinks, then shrugs) Go meee! Go mee!

Lance: YESSS! Way to go! (in sing-songy voice) Will stinks at volleyball! Will stinks at volleyball! Will-

Will: (yells in anguish) I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMOOORREEE! (chucks the volleyball at Lance's head)

THWACK!

Koga: WHOOOT! Bulls-eye! Nice one, Will!

Lance: (unconscious on the beach, face-down) Ugghhh…

Koga: …Uh, Lance?

Will: (walks over) Uh, you ok?

Lance: x_X

Yui: Lemme take care of this. (takes out a foghorn and blows)

Lance: (still unconscious) X_X

TCL: (springs awake) AAAAAAAAAAIIIIYEEEEEEEE!!! IT WASN'T MEEEE!!!

Yui: Well, at least it had some purpose…

TCL: (hyperventilating) ADRENALINE RUSH!!!!!!!! (faints)

Lance: x__X

Koga: So much for that.

Yui: Pooor Lannce… Poor, poor Lance… =/

Koga: (gets idea) Hey, let me take over! I'm an expert in medical science!

Yui: (eyes widen) Poor, poor, poor, poor, poor Lance. 

Will: (nods in agreement) He's doomed.

Koga: (takes out first aid kit) Let's see… He needs a Band-Aid and a dose of pencils.

Will: Whatever….Wait… Pencils?!!?

Koga: Pen-something.

Yui: Penicillin?

Koga: (blank, empty look, then nods) Oh yeah! That was it! Penicil… err… penaciller… no… Peni…

Lance: (starts to moan) Ugggh… 

Yui: Lance?

Lance: (looks up) Oh, hello.

Will: you aren't mad? Whew.

Lance: Who are you?

Will: Why, I'm- Say, wait a minute…

Lance: Hello, saywaitaminute! Do you know what my name is?

Koga: It's Lan-

Will: (evil grin) Poopyhead!

Lance: So I'm Itlsanpoopyhead?

Will: (nods vigorously)

Lance: Thanks, dude!

Will: …dude?

Koga: Dude!

Will: Dude?

Koga: DYOOOODDEEE!!!

Will: (kind of disturbed) I'm so outta here. (walks off)

Koga: Oh, poor lancey… forgot his name, everything!

Lance: (stupidly) Who's Lancey?

~*~*~

Koga: HEY, KAREN!

Karen: HEY, KOGA!

Both: HEYLO!

Lance: (to Karen) Wow… you're pretty…

Karen: (stares)

Lance: Oh, sorry! I'm Itslanpoopyhead!

Karen: (continues to stare) …?

Koga: It'd be better not to ask, Karen.

Karen: Don't worry. I wasn't even considering it.

(Koga and Yui lead Lance away)

Koga: We've got to find some way to restore Lance to his memories! He's got anemone!

Yui: …Anemone?!

Koga: (nods) Exactly! That's when someone loses their memories through some unfortunate injury to the head!

Yui: Aren't you thinking of amnesia? 

Koga: (empty, blank look) ……..OH! RIGHT! I knew that.

Yui: Well, we could try reenacting the scene. 

Koga: …What?

Yui: Just give me something heavy.

Koga: (shrugs, then hands Yui a 10-ton army tank he pulled out of his pocket as if by magic)

Yui: Too heavy.

Koga: (scoffs, then stuffs it back in his pocket. He then pulls out a bunny rabbit) 

Yui: Too fluffy.

Koga: (pouts, then pulls out a volleyball)

Yui: Perfect! Now, you hold him still while I take aim!

Koga: (alarmed) But, you might hit him!

Yui: Duh.

Koga: (puzzled, but restrains Lance all the same)

Lance: (still has goofy, clueless grin) This is a fun game!

Yui: Lance? I apologize in advance. (throws ball in the air, then spikes it right down at Lance's face)

(Lance stands there, unfazed)

Lance: I think that hurted.

Yui: Erg… Any other ideas, Koga?

Koga: Yep! I think I'll go take over his position as Champion! (cue menacing villain music) MOOOAAHAAHAHAHA!!!

Yui: Well, we'll have to think of something…

A/N: Well, it's over. Not now, of course. But I have decided the 50th chapter of AIADI will be the last. And this whole Lance amnesia thing will be continued in Chapter 47, if I ever get around to it. 

Lars: (sitting in Guest Chair of Honor [tm] while looking around room, bored) Can't I leave now?

TCL: You're not leaving until Klasky Csupo decides to sue me for holding you prisoner in here. 

Lars: (goes on a riot and grabs picket signs that appear out of nowhere) SUE! SUE! SUE! SUE! SUE!        


	48. Effects of Amnesia

A/N: WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! ^^ Just 3 more chapters of AIADI and then I can be done with this cursed thing! YEEEEEEYYY!! I aim to finish it before my birthday, which is July 10. Case you're wondering, I'm writing this on... *checks clock* July 3. Ah well. Gotta get going, then!

Disclaimer: Another Disclaimer! (cackles) Today, we are going to spin... TCL's amazing Wheel of Disclaimer!

TCL: (spins the wheel of disclaimer) Round and round and round it goes... Today's special Disclaimer guest will be... (written on the wheel of disclaimer are "Computer Game Characters" "Video Game Characters" "Authors" "Food items" "SSBM Characters" "Movie Characters" "TV Show Characters" and "Anime Characters")

(and the wheel lands on...)

TCL: Today's special guest will be a... (suspenseful music) FOOD ITEM!

(TCL walks over, and spins another wheel, labeled "The wheel of food items")

TCL: The lucky disclaimer guest is.... CHEESE! Cheese, come right on stage and do the disclaimer!

Cheese: (does nothing)

TCL: Eh... I said, Cheese, come right on stage and do the disclaimer!

Cheese: (does nothing)

TCL: Erg. (snaps her fingers)

(TCL's anonymous co-workers slap a note on the cheese that reads "TCL does not own Pokemon, but she does own this fic")

TCL: Thank you, cheese! Your participation was greatly appreciated!

(we see a room labeled "TCL's Guest Room")

(We enter)

(inside is every single non-pokemon/author character that ever appeared in AIADI! Wow.)

Ginger: I wanna go back to Hollywood!

Bubbles: I wanna go back to the professor!

Gilligan: The professor? He's right here. (points to the professor from GI)

Blossom: No! OUR professor!

Buttercup: I wanna get outta this stinky fic!

(I'm gonna keep them locked in here forever... I strongly dislike the powerpuff girls...)

PowerpuffGirls: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

(MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

Mary Ann: What about us?

Tai: Yeah! Put us back in DigiWorld!

Cheese: (does nothing)

Mimi: I don't want to go back to DigiWorld! I wanna go back to Japan!

Jhudora: PUT ME BACK IN MY EVIL DOMAIN THIS INSTANT! GAAAHHH!!! (still attacking herself)

Izzy: (stares blankly) Tai? Matt? Guys? (sees Mimi and Sora and Kari glare at him) ...and girls... uh... do you get the feeling that we are completely irrelevant to the main plot?

Mimi: (sarcastically) of course!

Izzy: Really?

Mimi: Uh, no. (thwacks him)

Izzy: (scoffs) You're... mean...

~*~To wherever Lance is~*~

Koga: (showing Lance around) This is a video camera.

Lance: (still has amnesia) Videeeoooo Caaaammmerrraaa?

Koga: Yes. By the way, we stole it from Twister Rodriguez. Stealing is when you take another's possessions and claim them as your own.

Lance: Possessssssions?

Koga: Yer things.

Lance: You mean like... this? (points to himself)

Koga: (smacks himself upside the forehead) Uggghhh...

Yui: What're we going to do? He'll be stuck like this forever!

Koga: (ponders) Well, considering that there's only three more chapters remaining, and that if Lance were to suddenly recover his forgotten memory through the advantage's of TCL's incredible authors powers there's be no plot at all, I think I can safely conclude that Lance will regain his normal brain at the very end of this chapter.

Yui: (stares) ...Whaaaaatever.

Koga: (brightly) In the meantime, let's have sandwiches!

Yui: Okay!

(they set out a picnic in the middle of nowhere, leaving Lance to wander about aimlessly)

Lance: Stealing! Stealing! Stealing! Stealing! Stealing! Stealing!

(Lance walks zombie-like into Karen's office type thing)

Lance: Stealing! Stealing! Stealing!

Karen: (looks at him funny, then just ignores him and continues looking at her papers)

Lance: STEALING VIDEO CAMERA! SANDWICHESSSS!!!! MEANTIME! FOREVER! STUCK!

Karen: (getting kind of annoyed) Lance?

Lance: I'm not Lance! Remember? I'm Itslanpoopyhead!

Karen: o_0 Er... ok. Whatever you say. Could you get out of my room?

Lance: VIDEO CAMERA!!!!

(Lance pounces on Karen, steals her papers, and runs out of the room, cackling)

Lance: STEALING!

Karen: (takes her a few minutes to comprehend what was going on) ...LANCE! (chases after him)

~*AT SOME RANDOM TROPICAL ISLAND PARADISE*~

Will: Ahhhh... this is the life. Nice sun, fresh breezes, hula dancers, and 7 straight cups of lemonade. 

(HULA DANCERS?!)

Will: Huh? Oh, these aren't just ANY hula dancers.

(curtain lifts up, revealing scruffy-looking hula dancers, foaming at the mouth)

Will: They're EVIL RABID CANNIBALISTIC HULA DANCERS! Kaweee!

(Ummm...)

Hula Dancer: (points to another hula dancer) OOGLYMOOGLY!

Other Hula Dancer: (points back) HACKAMACKA!

(both attack each other viciously)

Will: (continuing) Nothing but paradise, baby.

(...I guess Will just likes the summertime?)

~*MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE RANCH (or Indigo Plateau, whatever you want to call it)*~

Karen: (holding up flash card) Now, Lance. What is this?

Lance: A solar-powered high speed electric generator, with the strength and capabilities to light up every computer in the free country.

Karen: It's a dog, Lance. A DOG.

Lance: Right. Dog. Gotcha!

Karen: (glares at him) Loser. (shows him another flash card) What about this?

Lance: Dog!

Karen: No, Lance. It's a solar-powered high speed electric gener- Never mind. Let's move on to something else.

Koga: (to Karen) Have you tried ventriloquism?

Karen: No, I guess I haven't. 

Yui: There's a good reason, too.

Koga: Yeah, I know it won't help, but I sure love ventriloquism!

Karen: May I?

Yui: Go ahead!

Karen: YEY! (thwacks Koga)

Koga: On normal circumstances I would shout and yell at you demanding why you rudely hit me in the face without much evident purpose, but this one time, considering the current environment at hand, I've decided to let it slide.

Yui: There he goes with his nonsense again.

Lance: Let's play stealing! (grabs Koga and runs off with him)

Koga: HELP ME!!!!!!

Yui/Karen: (do little dance) GO LANCE! GO LANCE!

Narrator: And so, in an effort to make Koga's earlier predictions wrong, this chapter comes to a closing. And Lance STILL has amnesia.

Koga: This isn't funny! Please help me!

(suddenly, there is a BANG, and Twister appears randomly)

Twister: The guy with the scary hair stole my video camera! 

Karen: (points to Koga, who is still being dragged around by Lance) There's your victim.

Twister: He's toast! Man, I wanna go bust his guts out... (putting on his protective gear and wielding a giant mallet) I now gather up the courage lying in the depths of my frequently empty brain and pursue thou who hast stolen from me! (hands mallet to Karen) All yours.

Karen: Cowardly twerp.

(Karen runs over to Koga, and swings the mallet with amazing force) 

(and, unfortunately, she misses, and it hits Lance instead)

Lance: (looking up at the ceiling in a daze) Goodnight, mommmyyy... (goes out cold)

Karen: (to Lance) Whoops, sorry. (to Koga) This is for victims of Koga's evilness everywhere! (swings)

Koga: YOWWWWWWW!! (also goes dazed) Sweet dreams... (collapses to floor)

(Twister rushes over and reclaims his unfairly stolen video camera) 

Twister: YEEEEYYYYY!!!

Karen: (handing mallet back) All right, pay up.

Twister: ...Huh?

Karen: I conked Koga for ya, now you gotta repay me. All right?

Twister: Uhhhh... I have some used chewing gum...? (offers it)

Karen: DON'T HIRE IF YOU CAN'T PAY! ATTACCCKKKK!!! (chases Twister around, with no weapons except the swift, deadly strike of her bare hands!)

Narrator: (watching scene) Uhh... and SO... NOW the chapter comes to a close.

Lance: (wakes up) Huh? Where am I? (looks over at Twister) What's that guy doing here? And why can I not remember how I got here?

Yui: Well, at least it's some progress. Now one of us has got to save poor Twister from a horrible and painful doom.

(Yui and Lance look at each other and shrug)

Both: Nah.

(And till until the next chapter, they all lived happily ever after. All except Twister, obviously, but he got away eventually. Karen was very frustrated, but let it go. She doesn't stay angry for long. Yui and Lance, who recovered from his amnesia at long last, took turns beating up on poor Koga, who hadn't done much to offend anyone in the first place, and of course there's the happiest of all of them, who is still watching the cannibalistic hula dancers fight to the death)

Will: This is great!

(Well, he was happy until only one cannibalistic [and still very hungry] hula dancer remained.)

Will: (fleeing from an untimely demise) YAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!

(thus ends the 47th chapter)

A/N: I don't like this fic anymore. But some people still do, my only reason for continuing it. Thanks for your reviews, everyone. ^_^

Cheese: (in Guest Chair of Honor) (does nothing)


	49. Nobody's Fan

A/N: Hi! I'm TCL and I'm FINALLY THIRTEEN!!! BOOYEAH! I have been admitted into the terrible teens. On July 10th, to be precise. Now, I am officially THE minimum age requirement for most of the websites I already go to! PARTAY!

Disclaimer: Well, it's that time again!

TCL: Ahaha! The disclaimah! Who will it be today, hmmm? How about... Lesse... Already did Falco... and Lars... and Leon... and cheese... Oh, I know! Why don't we bring in Sheen Gulvera Estevez, from Jimmy Neutron?

(POOF! Sheen materializes on-stage) 

Sheen: Wow! Bright lights! Many colors! (outstretches his arms as if flying) Look, I can fly- just like Ultralord!

TCL: Ah yes... Hello Sheen. Don't ask questions. Just read aloud from this thing. (hands Sheen a copy of THA SCRIPT. Tremble in its mysterious power, I command you.) 

Sheen: Ok... let's see (reads the script) TCL dun't own Pokemon, or me, or anyone used in previous disclaimers. (gives script back to TCL) Ultralord wants to ask you why I just did that.

TCL: I SAID DON'T ASK QUESTIONS! (zaps him back to whence he came)

~*~

(We focus in one someone... A main character so unfairly neglected in the past two episodes in which he made no public appearance...)

(Bruno wakes up)

Bruno: (recalls events from "Ode to Bruno") Aiyeee ;_; (hides under his pillow and utters a pitiful whimper) Life is so unfair...

(Bruno is lying facedown in his "bed" constructed of twigs and straw as he inhales a huge cloud of dust from somewhere in that big mass)

Bruno: (continues to whimper)

(Little does Bruno know, a mysterious form watches him from the shadows)

Bruno: (looks up immediately) Who's there?

Mysterious form watching from the shadows: I am the wish granter of Albenestrenorabia. I have come to cure you from your sorrows.

Bruno: (Squeals) Goody! (normal voice) Ahem. Do I get three wishes?

MFWFTS: No. Just one.

Bruno: Hmmm... What is a permanent thing I can do to get rid of all this suffering... (thinks)

(Now, if Bruno had any brain at all, he could've made either made TCL disintegrate into oblivion, made TCL's computer disintegrate into oblivion, or just escaped the whole fic altogether. But, hey, they don't call him no-brain Bruno for nuttin')

Bruno: (imaginary lightbulb appears above head) I'VE GOT IT! (exclaims happily) I SHALL VENTURE INTO TCL'S BRAIN!

MFWFTS: ...Whatever. (snaps his fingers)

Bruno: Huh? (looks down. His feet are vanishing into dust, and his knees begin the same process) AAAAAAH!

(within several seconds, Bruno is completely dissolved. The mysterious guy somehow warps Bruno into TCL's brain, making Bruno incredibly tiny of course)

Person in audience: TCL has a BRAIN!?

(...Surprising I know........ HEY, WAITTA MINUTE!)

Person in audience: ...Don't hurt me...

(Grr... I DID say Bruno was incredibly tiny, all right?) 

Bruno: (looks around) THIS is TCL'S BRAIN?

(Bruno surveys the scene. TCL's brain is really just a big mass of cobwebs, random brain cells running about and sweeping the floor... to no avail I might add... and chocolate stains on the walls)

Bruno: (shudders) This place is a mess. Now, let's see... In order to end my suffering, I just have to make TCL my biggest fan. That way she will never ever hurt me. (sobs) It's so BRILLIANT. I wish I had thought of it before!

(Bruno wanders about aimlessly, opening random drawers and searching various papers of memories in TCL's incredibly dirty and unused brain) 

Bruno: Lesse... Here's TCL's memory of (squints) March 23 last year. And here's one for February the 12th, six years ago. And here's... (stares) ...TCL's history book? No wonder she can't find it.

(A/N: I paid 45 dollars and 90 cents to pay off that thing. Owch)

(Suddenly, Bruno looks up and screams) 

Bruno: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

(For Bruno has just stumbled upon a gigantic, six by six foot poster of him being mauled by TCL and other authors) 

Bruno: IT BURNS! (covers his eyes)

(Bruno opens another drawer. He pulls out a sheet of paper representing a memory/ability)

Bruno: wow... It's TCL's memory of how to open jars. Well... who said I can't mess with her abilities just a bit? (laughs evilly and rips the paper to shreds)

(after scrounging around a bit more, Bruno finally finds a whole drawer, filled to the brim with various memories and abilities) 

Bruno: (looking through the 'interesting' pile, trying to find Well, let's see... TCL's entire memory of the sixth grade... Nah... TCL's ability to juggle... nope... TCL's entire memory of a book she read in kindergarten... HERE WE ARE! A sheet of paper labeled TCL's opinions of Bruno. (takes it out and looks at it) 

****

TCL HATES BRUNO'S GUTS

STIMULUS: SIGHT OF BRUNO

RESPONSE: DISGUST COMBINED WITH A LONGING TO BEAT HIM UP

STIMULUS: MENTION OF THE NAME 'BRUNO'

RESPONSE: DISGUST AND POSSIBLE SHUDDERING

STIMULUS: SMELL OF BRUNO

RESPONSE: DISGUST, IRRITABILITY

STIMULUS: SOUND OF BRUNO'S VOICE

RESPONSE: DISGUST, INABILITY TO GET ALONG WITH OTHERS

Bruno: Well, I guess I disgust her. Let's see... (messes with it)

****

TCL IS BRUNO'S BIGGEST FAN

STIMULUS: SIGHT OF BRUNO

RESPONSE: SWOONING AND HAPPINESS

STIMULUS: MENTION OF THE NAME 'BRUNO'

RESPONSE: EXCITEMENT AND HAPPINESS

STIMULUS: SMELL OF BRUNO

RESPONSE: MUCH INHALING AND HAPPINESS

STIMULUS: SOUND OF BRUNO'S VOICE

RESPONSE: CALMING AND HAPPINESS

Bruno: There we go! (puts it back in the drawer, along with all the other files he took out) That should be enough! ^^ 

(As Bruno turns to leave, he sees something else that catches his eye)

Bruno: Hmmm... That looks like TCL's opinion of Will and Karen! (evil grin) Time to have a little fun!

~*~*~

(CUT TO AUTHORS)

(Yui is running around, panting, screaming something about the apocalypse) 

(PyroVulpix is taking TCL's temperature, then shaking his head, puzzled)

PV: She seems perfectly normal to me.

Yui: NORMAL!??! Obsessing over pictures of Bruno is NORMAL? TCL NEEDS THERAPY! CALL 911! 

Lccorp2: I'm on it!

(Lc runs over to the phone and dials)

Lccorp2: Hullo? Operator? Could you get me the nearest hospital? Huh? ...Mental or physical? I dunno...? Maybe both!

Yui: Definitely mental. There is much panicking to be done here! TCL! Can you hear me?

TCL: (hisses and pushes everyone away) I told y'all, I'm perfectly normal. I'm allowed to be fan, aren't I? Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go mercilessly bash Will and Karen. Good-bye, fellow authors.

(she leaves the room. Silence.)

Yui: Did I hear that correctly?

PV: Pinch me.

Lccorp2: She's snapped. Help help.

Dawn: Hey! Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?

PV: Depends. Are you thinking about getting some cheese nips?

Dawn: No, but... If TCL's gone mad, we can take over her studio!

PV: Oh.

Lccorp2: Oh goody! A raid!

~*~*

~ELSEWHERE~

TCL: (in chains and ragged slave-like clothes) OH GREAT BRUNO! (bows) Whatever else can I do to please you???

Bruno: (sitting high upon a throne) Bring Will and Karen before me!

TCL: (by her amazing author powers) Done!

(Will and Karen materialize out of nowhere)

Karen: Huh? (sees TCL) Hey Crimson! (sees Bruno) Do we get to help you destroy Bruno?

TCL: On the contraire. 

Bruno: Now, ELIMINATE THEM! (cackles maniacally)

Narrator: Will the two Elites escape a terrible doom? 

~*~*~

(Will and Karen are chained to the ground. Above them is a guillotine- with broccoli and celery and other assorted fruits and veggies as the blades)

Will: Well, Karen, I guess this is the end. (holds out his hand) I'm gonna miss ya, buddy.

Karen: (grabs his hand and shakes it) Nice knowing ya. I wonder what's gotten into TCL? She's treating Bruno like a king.

TCL: MUAHAHAHAHA! So, Will and Karen... this is the time of your doom. Any last words?

Karen: Yes. (to Bruno) I hate your guts.

Will: Me too. (to Karen) I ate that last chocolate bar I said I would save for you.

Karen: (shrieks) WHAAAT?!

TCL: Ok, time's up. Goodbye... Will and Karen.

(The assorted healthy things of the guillotine hurtle down to the ground at amazing speeds... But just when W&K are about to meet their end...)

~*~*~*~*~

BEEEEEP! BEEEEEEEEP! BEEEEEEP!

Bruno: (sits up in bed, panting heavily) Wha-wha-whaaat? What happened? (looks around the room. His gaze rests on his alarm clock) Oh, dagnabbit. It was just a wonderful dream. Well, time to go back to my abusing life.

(suddenly, the door opens, and Will and Karen walk in, with menacing looks on their faces)

Bruno: Oh, hi guys. What's up?

(Will and Karen both punch Bruno hard in the mouth)

Will: You know what that was for.

Karen: (suddenly smacks Will) And that's for eating the last chocolate bar.

Will: Dang.

(they leave)

(Bruno sits there, in silence)

Bruno: I'm just going to forget that ever happened. (he lays his head back down on his pillow and rests for a little while longer)

A/N: Two more chapters! The countdown is on! The end is near! 


	50. Finale

A/N: And so, AIADI comes to complete closing. Boo hoo! Poor little insane fic. Never as great as Eskimo Jolteon. (Actually, never even close). 

THE FINAL DISCLAIMER: Well, at LEAST I don't have to do any more disclaimers after this…

Person in Audience: You know, I've been sitting in this audience for an ENTIRE year. I haven't even, like, ate or slept… you know? 

Different Person: I still go to the bathroom. Without moving from this very seat!

(everyone in audience anywhere near that person moves as far away from them as they can, which means moving their lazy butts for the first time in 365 days)

TCL: How sad it is, that such a fic that is confusing to read but fun to write has to end so soon? On it's one-year anniversary, too.

Person in Audience: You know, I'm like, 363 days late to my hair appointment because of this fic.

TCL: You know, that's too bad. I don't even remember what I was doing 365 days ago… But anyway… I ramble. Who wants to do the FINAL disclaimer? Hmmm… Special chapter means… SPECIAL DISCLAIMER! Duh. Sooo, here to disclaim in their own special way, it's… MR. SIMMONS! The teacher dude from Hey Arnold.

~POOF! Mr. Simmons appears~

TCL: (hands him a script) Just read it. And don't ask questions.

Mr. Simmons: Uh… (starts reading) TCL does not own Pokemon, nor does she own anyone used in her very special disclaimers, including me. She does however own her special plots and her very special green banana she uses to clean the sink every Tuesday night.

TCL: Works like a charm! …But, uh, anyway… Let's get it ON!

~*~*~

(we focus in on the elite four, where an anxious Karen is packing her bags)

Karen: Finally! Working here has earned me enough money to get me on that month-long luxurious cruise to Jamaica! (drools) 

(Will is in a similar state…)

Will: Finally! Working here has earned me enough money to at last buy that upgrade from Mewtwo that will increase my Psi powers threefold!

(And Lance…)

Lance: Finally! Working here has earned me enough money to pay back my mom for the time I drilled holes in her kitchen ceiling!

(whatever)

(we focus back in on TCL)

TCL: AT LAST! No more AIADI! No more work! No more poking my brain with a chainsaw trying to come up with more random words and plots! No more wonderful reviews to read! No more wasted space on my diminishing hard drive! (cheers)

C9Y: TCL? When AIADI ends, can I have your studio?

TCL: (offended) NO!

(and this time, we go to Bruno)

Bruno: HUZZAH! THE REIGN OF TERROR HAS ENDED! As soon as this chapter comes to a complete stop, I shall collect my earnings, use them to pay for my high medical bills, and LEAVE AIADI FOREVER!!!

Koga: I'll miss it.

Bruno: (stares) WHAT?

Koga: I said, I'll miss it. I'll miss squeaking at the most inappropriate times. I'll miss the cruel tortures from Corrector9Yui. I'll miss the heavy influxes of weird language that not even I can understand!

(silence.)

Bruno: (slowly) Is that true?

Koga: (brightly) Of course not! 

(Koga is packing his suitcase. It's filled up to the brim with magazines, pictures of his daughter, and first-aid kits)

Bruno: You've had it pretty bad, too. Not nearly as bad as me, but… Remember the time we both got hit by a train?

Koga: That wasn't so bad. Only set me back a couple thousand pokebucks to get my spine snapped back in position.

Bruno: What about the costs for your operation?

Koga: To be honest, that made me go broke. But let's try to stay optimistic. It's finally ending! THIS IS THE FINAL CHAPTER!!!

Bruno: I think we all got the message by now.

~*~*~

Lccorp2: TCL, before we all vanish into the massacre of messes that are our own fics…

TCL: Yeah?

Lccorp2: Can you make a sudden hailstorm?

TCL: (with enthusiasm) really? YAY!

(brings on a sudden snowstorm)

TCL: Let's turn on the news!

C9Y: Fine with me.

PV: Does anyone have any cheese nips?

(Lccorp2 turns on the TV)

Person on TV: Hello. I'm Chet Ubetcha, saying someone put me in the wrong fic category…Again… 

TCL: Fairly Oddparents?  Whoooops… How'd he get in there? (changes channel)

Different person on TV: If you've seen this red-hatted boy, please contact local officials. 

(picture of Ash Ketchum appears on screen)

TCL: That looks like Ash!

Shadow: Big whoop.

Lccorp2: I knew we shoulda killed him off!

Different person on TV (DPOTV): Ash Ketchum is a huge threat to the world around us. Lock your doors and windows. Educate your children with this knowledge: ASH IS AMONG US.

TCL: THE HORRORRRRRRRR!!! (screams and faints)

Lccorp2: (ignores her) What exactly did he do, anyway?

DPOTV: Ash Ketchum was found guilty as charged for stealing the priceless golden bikini, an estimated 60-billion dollar artifact found in the ancient tomb of the Summerbeachbumanian King, Bob.

C9Y: (eyes TV strangely) A golden… bikini?

PV: How can you wear that?

DPOTV: (with stupid look) You can't! AHAHAHAHAHA-

(A second reporter walks up to the first and slaps him)

DPOTV: ahem. So concludes today's broadcast.

(TV flickers and turns off)

PV: Let me get this straight- the final episode of AIADI revolves around the theft of a golden bikini?

Lccorp2: TCL was low on ideas.

(TV suddenly turns on)

DPOTV: This just in! It's actually a golden _tankini_… Specially designed for comfortable fit! …OWCH! Stop hitting me! Wha-

(TV blurs and fades out)

C9Y: …That was…….. disturbing.

Lccorp2: No kidding.

(suddenly, Ash Ketchum flies out onto the stage, panting)

Ash: I didn't do it! I SWEAR! (lies at C9Y's feet, sobbing) YOU'VE GOT TO BELIEVE ME!

C9Y: Hold on, let's check this handy-dandy lie detector. (takes out a toaster)

Lccorp2: (tugs on C9Y's sleeve) Um, Yui, that's a-

C9Y: It's close enough, all right?

(Yui places the toaster on Ash's head)

Lccorp2: …Nothing's going to happen.

C9Y: Sure it will! Wait for it…!

(suddenly, two pieces of toast pop out of the toaster)

C9Y: I TOLD YOU! You have to BELIEVE!

Lccorp2: Right. 

PV: And uh, I believe I'm going to be leaving now. Seeya!

(PyroVulpix leaves)

Shadow: Uh, Yui? 

C9Y: (takes a bite out of one of the slices of toast and makes a face) YUCK! It's burnt!

Ash: What does that mean?

C9Y: YOU LIED!!! 

Ash: What? I DIDN'T STEAL THE GOLDEN BIKINI! IT WASN'T ME! DON'T HURT ME!!! WHAAAAAAAA…

Shadow: Me leaving.

Lccorp2: I concur.

(switch back to Karen)

Karen: Soo… Will, Lance, Koga, Bruno? What are you guys going to do once you leave AIADI for good?

Will: I think I'll retire early, and live the rest of my life in solitude.

Koga: I'll spend more time around the house with my daughter, Janine. We need to strengthen our family bonds.

Lance: I'm going to use whatever's left of my life to study dragons and travel around the world.

Bruno: I'm opening a nail salon!

(everyone stares at him)

Karen: Uh_… okaaaaaaaaayy……_

Will: (opting to change the subject) What about you, Karen?

Karen: Well, I don't have anything special planned, but…

(takes out a HUGE, HUUUUUUUGEEE list, which mentions what she's going to do every day for the rest of her life)

Will: Wow, Karen! You've got everything figured out! 

Karen: Duh! I'd hate to be disorganized… like the men…. And Bruno.

Will: Whatever he is.

Lance: Some twisted freak of nature.

Karen: Let's leave it at that.

(The Elite Four and Lance say their good-byes and go their separate ways… until they get a call. It's the league manager… Uh… Fred. Yeah, Fred.)

Fred: WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?? The fic's over, not your term at the indigo plateau!

Karen: …but… my cruise...

Fred: YOUR PROBLEM! GET YOUR SORRY BUTTS BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!!!

(he hangs up)

~*~*~

(and so, the elite four return to their normal, meaningless lives. The authors said goodbye to TCL's AIADI studio and TCL ate cookies for the next ten hours. There's only one issue left at hand. We focus in on Tracey, prancing around a room joyously… In a…)

Tracey: I adore this golden tankini! It's exactly my size, and a comfortable fit!

(his beloved, a sketchpad, watches from afar)

Sketchpad: That's it. I'm changing my name, and taking that indefinite vacation to Taiwan.

[And so… It ends… And everyone is happy again… At least until another author decides to take up the insanity craze…]


End file.
